Friday, April 28, 2006


What Do You Call ...

... a company that is booked to do your move at 4pm but which sends their drivers at 1:40?

... a company that is informed that you have a piano to move and which tells you that it is a two-man job and will cost $xx per hour, but then sends movers incapable of moving your piano?

... a company who has nobody available to answer emergency calls from the drivers who need to get your piano moved?

... a company who, when the third man finally shows up, gets the TWO men to move the piano, claims it's a THREE man job and charges you for three men for the entire time, including the hour that you were standing about, making coffee for the aforementioned TWO movers because there was nothing else to do?

... a company whose third person (owner? manager? assbeagle? who knows) insults you and your house when he finally bothers to get his offensively-hairy ass over to the aforementioned house, to move the previously-declared piano.

... a company whose representative refuses to give you a receipt for the huge amount of money you have given him for this fairly small move? A company whose representative only agrees to give you a receipt after he adds the GST, making some fairly nasty conclusions pretty easy to jump to?

I'd call them A Certain Moving Company which I am not naming here because I don't feel like being sued, but I'll happily provide the name via email should someone require it. I also would not call them again, despite being a previously-satisfied repeat customer.

Dude, today sucked. A lot.

Upside is, all of the big furniture is moved. Downside is, because of all the standing around and fucking about, the house is still a screaming disaster. It's actually too horrible to let Gaile and her Budgie into, so I'm going to stop off on the way home and put in an hour or so of moving and cleaning before heading home, instead of going home to sleep as any sane person would do.

Oh yes, and the bucket of diseased gophers which grudgingly and intermittently provides my internet service isn't going to be able to hook us up until Wednesday.

There will definitely be drinkage tomorrow night. You're going to have to wait several days for the ranting, though.


Thursday, April 27, 2006


Is It Time to Give Up Yet?

OK, so I waited and waited and waited all morning. I didn't waste my time, I slept while I waited, but waiting was the main thrust of my day, nonetheless.

Finally about 1:00 I called my friend. Asked if The Annoying Frenchman could fix the brakes like I was expecting him to do this morning.

Seems he can fix the brakes all righty. Tomorrow afternoon. Tomorrow, when the movers are taking the big furniture and I have to go to the new house with them.

Tomorrow, which is the day after today.

Today upon which I have to move the kitchen, and then take my child to work seeing I have no childcare as my parents are otherwise occupied.

Oh yes, and my husband hasn't moved anything 'cause he doesn't wake up early enough to do so. He was thinking of moving his stuff on Saturday. I don't quite know how he's going to do it, as Gaile and her budgie are coming up here to help with the final hysteria, and I'm going to need the van all day.

I'm pretty close to screaming but I don't seem to have time for a breakdown seeing I've got to find someone to fix my brakes in the next three hours and then move the entire kitchen.

Computer service goes down tomorrow. I think it gets reconnected at the new house tomorrow also, but even though I booked the move several days ago nobody's called to confirm it yet.

I'm never moving again. Just thought I'd mention it.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006


Bump and Grind

Oh, the van is bad, bad, bad. I'm getting horrified looks as I drive it along the street, mostly because it's making a noise like a vehicle with no brakes. The horrified looks are most often being cast anxiously over the shoulder of the person driving the vehicle in front of mine. I'm guessing the general populace's urge to meet me stops just short of ... well, of me not stopping just short and ending up in the back seat of their vehicle.

Although this makes for somewhat-amusing (to me at least and that's what counts) blog fodder, it doesn't make for particularly amusing driving. I am therefore relieved that, should I make it home in one piece in the morning, The Small Annoying Frenchman is going to fix my brakes. For a lot less than the shop would. And he makes housecalls, which means that really I have to find something nicer to call him.

Well, maybe next week.

The moving itself, although way behind where it should be at the moment, is causing me less stress than one would suppose. I figure I'll panic about 6pm on Saturday, 'cause dudes, as of about 8pm Saturday I am SO done with this house. I'm planning on having the keys sealed in an envelope and dropped off at the landlord's office by 8:15.

Denial. It's not just a river in Egypt any more.

On the house front, I am rapidly filling the whole damned studio up. It's going to be ugly for a few weeks until I can get fleece storage arranged in the garage. I'm not entirely sure if I'm going to have to ask permission of the seven-foot-wide spiders that seem to inhabit the rafters of the garage. Them or the bumble bees.

Yes, it would seem I do live in the woods, don't I? Fortunately the spiders aren't the aggressive-eating-small-cats-and-children ones but dudes, the pure white one are squicking me out, bigtime.

We will not discuss the black and yellow ones. They are pretty. A design feature. Oh yes they are.

Shut up.

Monday, April 24, 2006


My Brain Hurts

We have had a challenging day, Chéz Lapin. The van decided that brakes were really an optional extra and ate away the last little scraps of the brake pads at the front.

I took it down to the magic-brake-fixing-guy and he quoted a price that would have been perfectly reasonable had it been legal to sell my kidney, but seeing that sort of thing is frowned upon, I decided to do without the front brakes until Friday. He said the back ones were perfectly good, so unless we can talk the Annoying Small Hairy Frenchman Who Used To Live Upstairs into fixing my brakes for cost (this is possible) then I shall just traipse gaily about town, grinding all the way, until Friday morning.

Parking the van is not an option. I have 20-25 more loads to do before Sunday night, and really I'd like to have it all over bar the shouting by about noon on Saturday, as there will be drinkage on Saturday night.

Anyhow, all of this makes my brain hurt. Coupling that with the fact that I'm still sick and I'm having to work overtime ... well, let's just say I'd like a little cheese with that whine.

So, just to distract myself from the trainwreck that is my life, I shall answer numerous questions left in the comments section over the last few weeks.

Libby: Yes, I still have the yolk-yellow wool and I'm still going to put it on eBay the minute I've actually finished this move -- Oliver still needs some stuff and I'd like to get this done seeing it's been, oh, a year or so since I dyed it, feckless strumpet that I am.

Several people asked about how the cat bath went, and I'm ashamed to admit that I have not yet had the courage to bathe her. That cat can slice a cow from 40 paces ... I really don't know if I want to expose my dainty flesh to her excesses. She's smelling a little ripe, though, so maybe soon.

Regarding placement of the daisy, should you be twatless, please improvise as best you can. For the curious, I had imagined that the stem end would be the one inserted, however if you would like to do it the other way around, I don't believe you'd go to jail for it unless you were doing it in a public park. And Daisy, yes, you get a cut of the wealth no matter to whom it arrives.

As for the curiosity about the underpants:

- Yes, green would work. Pink, however, would not.
- My daughter took the pictures and she's pretty darned good for a five year old.
- It bothers me that she didn't find my request at all unusual.
- The cat with which one sleeps with while wearing underpants on one's head does not have to be a tuxedo cat. Pretty much any colour would work (except, again, pink)

Blogging will be sparse for the next week or so. Internet service and so forth should be transferred to the new house some time on Friday but we all know about the best-laid plans ...

I think we're pretty much down to the wire. Wish us luck, and hope nobody and nothing gets broken or divorced in the next five days, mmkay?

Sunday, April 23, 2006


A New Low in Blogging

Our good friend, Crazy Aunt Purl has often defined madness as going out and directing traffic with your bra on your head. Our other good friend, Snowball has frequently described the pain of insomnia.

I, too, suffer from insomnia,and being a night worker I also have to battle the challenges of sleeping when it's light out.

I don't think this is quite as crazy as Purl's definition of madness, but I have indeed come up with a solution, which I mentioned on Snow's blog recently.

First, lie down in bed with a pair of midnight blue satin underpants, the bra to which is long lost in antiquity.

Then, put the underpants over your head.

Then, fold the waistband up to make a double thickness so the light can't get through, and go to sleep.

Yeah, I admit it, I sleep with underpants on my head, but dammit, I sleep well.

You may now commence chortling.

Saturday, April 22, 2006


Dear Annoying Emailers

Thank you for sending me your email telling me that I should say some Jesus thingie and pass the email on to seven people in seven seconds to get good luck.

I'm sorry that I don't share your beliefs, however I would like to offer you this in return.

Today is lesbian goddess vagina flower day; please shove a daisy up your snatch and forward this to 300 of your closest friends and you will receive great wealth by Friday.

It really works!

Please post pictures.


Thursday, April 20, 2006


Happy Birthday, Dude!

Today we celebrate the thirty*mumble*th anniversary of my baby brother's arrival on earth. Hope it's a good one, baby!

His birthday present looks like this:

Doesn't that look like a pair of socks to you? Yeah, me too.

Soon. Those will be next on the needles, right after I finish the socks that were due the middle of March.

In honour of his natal day, I am going to go to work in disguise. Today's costume is that of "Galloping Snot-Covered Death". Yes, I have a cold. Wonder if anyone will recognize me.

Short post this evening; I'm loading up the van, again, and heading down to drop a load of boxes off to the new place on the way to work.

There is no way on FSM's little green mountain that I am going to get this moving finished on time.

I say that every time, and most times I make it, but I'm getting a little nervous. Ten days left. Time to start chewing the fingernails.

More house photos tomorrow.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006


Rome Wasn't Burnt In A Day

Extra points to anyone who knows what that's from.

I'm still here. I'm still moving. I still don't have a truck for the weekend so I've resigned myself to the fact that we're moving on the 29th. Waa! I wanna be in my big, clean, quiet house right now!!!

The elephants upstairs have their TV blaring as we speak. And no, I'm no good at all at patience. Good of you to notice. I'm also no good at noise and am very tempted to go throw the breaker switch to their living room ...

Nerves are wearing a little thin here, Chéz Lapin. My daughter is now crying her eyes out after having to "say goodbye" to an ice cube she was using on her tongue to stop the bleeding after biting it by mistake (she insists she can't take it into the bath. I insist she's having a bath now. It's an hour after her bedtime and she reeks because the babysitter didn't give her a bath last night and her father didn't give her one the night before.) Ben has a cold and he's too siiIIIIiiiick to go get Eleanor from school, and in fact was too sick to take her in yesterday while I worked a double shift, so I'm dealing with that whining plus the inevitable chewing out by Eleanor's twat of a kindergarten teacher because I somehow can't control my husband remotely while I'm earning a living.

Top that off with the three whole hours of sleep a day I've been getting and, as you can see, I'm whining louder than any of them.

Moving is a bad, bad thing, even if you're moving to a much, much better place. I am, however, blaming all of the whining on the yarn diet ... um, yarn FOCUS. I'm pretty sure if I could go buy some Lorna's Laces I'd feel a lot better. Even some Fleece Artist would do it. *g*

There has been a small amount of knittage committed hereabouts. I'm almost down to the heel flap of the socks I owe a girlfriend for her birthday in March, and I haven't even started to cast on for my brother's birthday present (his birthday is tomorrow. He will be given the ball of wool and some needles and instructed to return them to me. He knits. He will understand.)

As for me, I don't even think I can stay awake long enough to drink beer. I know this post is boring as hell but I just wanted to let you all know I'm not dead yet.

Which is good, because I'm getting me another spinning wheel (Kromski Symphony) right after I get tsome unplanned money that is coming my way ...

Addict or collector? You decide.

Off to bed now for a bit.


Monday, April 17, 2006


So Done

I've been packing. There are many boxes at the new house and many boxes sitting here ready to go.

I am so done with this house. The old place. Sstan's armpit.

I can't afford a mover for the piano and such until the 29th, but I am sending out a call to all Vancouverites who might read this. If you have a friend with a truck who is willing to move a sofa, a big chair, a cabinet with a butcherblock top, two dressers, a table and two beds (a bunk and a double) for about $100 on Saturday the 22nd, please drop me a line.

They will have to do the heavy lifting, I can't because of my back being sort of wrecked (I tore ligaments and did nerve damage oh, about 20 years ago, to the point where my legs didn't work. Much pain and lengthy physio later, I can't risk destroying it again).

The dressers don't HAVE to go, those can go in my van later, but the beds, the table and the sofa, chair and cabinet have to go in a truck, they do not fit in my van.

I would dearly love to be living in my new house by this weekend rather than next.

Please email me at bunniegirl at shaw dot ca if you know of anyone who would do that for $100, a ton of goodwill, and I would knit them socks or a hat later, even.


Sunday, April 16, 2006


Eternal Moonshine of the Spotted Carpet

I have no idea what those nasty, nasty people who lived in the house before me did. I'm beginning to suspect they took mudbaths and then dried themselves off on the carpet or something.

And then, you know, flung mud at each other. Smelly mud.

Anyhow, the carpet has now been cleaned twice and that's just going to have to do for now. My back won't take any more, and time is running out. Many, many boxes will start to move in tomorrow. Um, that is if I pack them tonight. Shut up.

Fourteen days left to go. No need to panic.


Here's a picture of the side of my studio, the covered patio area and my garage. It is falling down. Well not really, just one of the bifold doors is off (it's inside) and the roof is covered in moss and um, there seems to be some seepage of water across the floor.

Apart from that it's great.

To answer Mark's question of yesterday, it rains a lot here. I think almost everything molds or mosses over sooner or later. So yes, that is a normal thing for a roof to eventually do, when not maintained with any semblance of diligence.

I promise there will be actual knitting content tomorrow. Um, did anyone remember this was supposed to be a knit blog? No? Me either.


OK, More House Stuff

Here is my new dining room. This room and the living room stretch across the entire front of the house. The linoleum is almost perfect (one chip out of it) and it's big enough for my pine farm table which I haven't been able to set up in a couple of years. You can just see the edge of the front door on the left of the picture, and at the bottom of the picture is where the living room carpet starts.

That small rectangular black mark on the wall is our mailbox. Yes, our mail is delivered to our dining room floor. I have no idea who thought of this shit, but I'll put a little basket there and it'll be fine. I mean, it's not like I have to retrieve it from the roof or anything; it's an oddity more than an inconvenience.

And turning at a 90 degree angle to the right, here is the kitchen:

So if you go up the front steps, the window looks into the dining room, and beyond that is the kitchen. There are um, I think 17 or 18 useable cupboards in there, and 11 decent drawers. There is the L-shaped countertop beside the sink, and then there's the whole big countertop above the cupboards at the back of the kitchen.

The stove is fucked, but there is a new one waiting to be delivered the minute I call them to tell them when I'll be there to sign for it.

We have no dishwasher but I'll look on Craigslist for one and in the meantime, we can just wash them by hand.

The floorspace in my current kitchen is maybe five feet square. MAYBE. Can you see how I'm loving this?

At the back left of the kitchen there is one of the four doors into the house, and a deep alcove for a freezer. When we moved a couple of years ago we gave our freezer to the neighbour. She still has it and doesn't use it. I'm scared it might be a bit mildewy but if it can be salvaged we're going to get it back.

I really can't believe this is happening to me. I've lived in Sstan's armpit (He's satan's cousin) for a year and a half and the last place, although better than this, was nothing like the new house.

Dude, I think it might be time for things to go well for me.

Almost scared to say that.

Stay tuned for bedroom pictures.


Happy Easter, Everyone

I'm not an Xian, so I don't know the whole deal, but I'm pretty sure there's a passage in the bible that deals with the bunnie rolling the rock away from the cave, and then Jesus coming out with a gaily-decorated basket and giving everyone chocolate eggs (and possibly matzohs, wasn't he Jewish? Which is probably good because if he was Christian that would sort of like me being a Rabbitchist.)

However you and yours choose to celebrate (or not), may your day be joyous and full of chocolate and love. Or at least wool, if you don't do the chocolate thingie.

(Um, think I could possibly have covered more bases while offending nearly every religion on earth at the same time with my good wishes? Heh. Sincere and offensive, that's me.)


Saturday, April 15, 2006


Old Black Water


I have just returned from washing the carpets at the new house. The guestroom has been done twice, the big bedrooms and all of the hallways have been done once (and oh sweet FSM the bathroom carpet in the master bedroom, the vileness of which shall never again be mentioned).

And why on earth would I think that you are interested in the state of my carpets? Well, I don't, really. But I want to talk about it anyhow.

So, THIS is what the water looked like in my Big Green Clean Machine after the first pass over the carpet of the guestroom.

(i have a guestroom! i have a freaking guestroom!!!1!)

I am pleased to say that the second washing produced much lighter brown water. The first washing of the hallways and the bedrooms were just as vile and, should FSM grant me both strength and time, I shall wash the big bedrooms and hallways again on Monday. I'm tempted to do the guestroom a third time but I might just be getting a bit too Martha Stewart here.

But dude. Other people's stink. And are there fleas or anything in there? They did have several large stinking dogs. Yes, I know they were stinking. The stink was still in the house, which is what brought on this frenzy of carpet washing.

I'm beginning to believe that I'm actually moving. There are two boxes of my stash in the studio already. I haven't moved the "good stuff" and I can't bear to be parted from my sock yarn for too long (ooh, and did I tell you that Wendy sent me some sock yarn? Pix when I get my act together), but the cotton and some of the "nicer" ack is down there, plus some books and other boxes of stuff. I'm pretending I'm not moving my kitchen because packing and unpacking it is always so vile, so I'm just taking stuff by hand every time I drive down there with a load of boxes. All of the side plates, the little coffee maker and two mugs are down there. I mean, what more could a girl ask? (Yes, there's coffee. Don't be an idiot. It went in the first load.)

Oh yes, and there has been knitting. I have completed my husband's hat. It looks like ass, but he loves it. I'm hoping that the addition of a tassle will make it look less lame.

And before I go and slather myself with Burt's Bees Hand Salve (best stuff ever), some more flashes of the new house.

Behold, my side yard (and the ass end of my van):

And the view of the side yard from the window of my studio:

Yeah, that's a big covered patio and a picnic bench out there. After we've re-grassed the side yard (which is actually public property, but the way it's laid out it looks like part of our garden, so there's little likelihood of intruders) we're gonna have us a big ol' barbecue. You're invited. Bring beer.

Friday, April 14, 2006


More House Pictures

Here is the view out of the back window of my studio. Notice moss-covered garage. Those trees? Oh, those are our neighbours.

This is my great big living room with brand new carpet. Every other carpet is filthy and reeks of dog, but this is great. Well, apart from the plywood fake-panelled wall but we'll deal with that. Deckchair included for size.

Oh, and here is the view out of my front window. Those trees? More neighbours.

We do have a neighbour to the immediate east of us, and one sort of kitty corner across the road, but basically we live in the woods. With a three-block walk to the pizza and movie stores and a four-block walk to the pub.

That freakystuff at the end of the wall in the studio is cedar shakes. Yes, outside house shakes on the inside wall. Don't ask. It's actually sort of cute.

Off to work!


Seeing You Asked So Nicely

Yeah, I know nobody asked, but I'm showing off anyhow. Here are pix of the new studio. More fun house pictures later.

Could I be luckier? I think not.



I've been down at the new house, cleaning the filthy filthy carpets, and I have lots of fun house pictures, but it's heading for 10am so I'll have to post them later, after I get some sleep.

I've also put up another three or four sets of stitch markers. There are another half-dozen sets made but again, the sleep has to come first.

In the meantime, I shall fob you off with two more beautiful pictures from The Wedding of The Century:

beautiful or what?

everyone should be this happy

And now for some beauty rest ...

Thursday, April 13, 2006


As You Were

OK, we got the house. All is signed and sealed.

Another large (and up until now important but who cares any more) check will bounce sky-high, causing at least a small amount of muddle next week, but WE GOT THE HOUSE.

Oh, and my workroom is eleven and a half feet or so wide, and just over 22 feet long. Workroom? Ha! I meant STUDIO!

OK, everyone a) start dancing in joy and b) pray that FSM will bring me $600 by Monday so I don't go to jail *g* (no, I won't go to jail, I'll just have to scramble and scrabble and apologize a lot)




Bad start to the move. Both my husband's paycheck and mine were far short of what they should have been (I lost a couple of hundred bucks because of being on sick leave, what with losing the paid breaks and the night differential and all) so I'm going to have to be at the bank the minute they open to get a money order for the rent (and let everything else bounce). On top of that I got home and discovered that the knittens had locked themselves in my bedroom for hours and peed on the bed (and who could blame them?) so even the hour of sleep I thought I was going to get is pretty much toast.

Not a good start to the day. Everyone join hands (yes, I know you're all in different locations, just do it figuratively, ok?) and hope that I can still pull this deal out of my ass.

Moving the big stuff this week is out of the question now, but I think we can still do it on the 28th or 29th.

Barring a miracle, if someone could come over and shoot me, I'd really appreciate it.

Stay tuned for breaking news.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006


I Must Be Dreaming, Please Stop Screaming

I get the keys to the house tomorrow.

Nothing is packed. I've moved the hydro (electrical service) and oh my dog I don't know if I have to get gas hooked up or not because I don't know how the place is heated and I haven't moved the phone or cable and I don't think I can afford movers for this weekend and aaaAAAaahhhh!


So apart from that everything's under control.

Heading to the post office now, to re-mail the package of stitch markers that came back to me because it would seem I can't address anything correctly.

I made five new sets last night, so they'll be up shortly. Because, you know, every girl should be trying to do business while packing her house and screaming.

I wonder if there's any demerol left ...

Sunday, April 09, 2006


Brother, Can You Spare a Square?

Or sister. Yeah, you can do it too.

I didn't do much today. The last couple of weeke have been so stressful that I needed some downtime. I did do a little stashbusting, though, in the form of a couple of squares for Cynthia. Y'all have any pink or purple wool or cotton lying around, that's a good way to use it up. (No synthetics, alas).

Thanks for all of the good wishes regarding the badger and advice on the move. This'll be my 22nd move since I moved out of the house 26 years ago, so I think I'll be fine.

Next time I'm not moving anything at all, though. I'm just gonna buy me a super-sized bag of marshmallows, cut a couple of sticks out of the woods and let 'er burn.

You're invited. Bring weenies.


Have You Ever ...

... been wrangling a porcupine? Or perhaps knitting something using five dpns for the first time in your life, using charcoal grey Magpie? Maybe making a hat or something, you know, just as an example and all.

And while you were doing this thing that you knew you couldn't do seeing you were actually making up the hat pattern as you went, reached for the free needle and somehow grabbed a needle with active stitches on it and ripped it right out by mistake?

No, me either. I'd never do something like that.

But if I did, and this is only hypothetical here, I might scream some Very Bad Words as I scrambled to get the stitches back before I fucked the hat up completely.

I think I got them all back. I'm very close to the end of this hat but jesusfuck, that was not fun. Or um, it wouldn't have been, like, if I had done something that stupid.


Saturday, April 08, 2006


They say ...

... that kids don't draw from life.

Allegedly she's not supposed to do this until she's in like high school or something.

The picture of Ben was taken later, so he's got his legs folded in the wrong direction, but he wanted me to take a picture of how he was, so you can see what she did.

Well. Clearly I'm going to have to work three jobs until I'm 78, 'cause I'm going to have an artist living in my basement ...

I don't know whether to be proud or cry.

Yeah, actually, I do know which one to do. *g*

Friday, April 07, 2006


Oh Sweet FSM!

I just realized that starting next week I'm going to have my own, real, genuine, actual studio!!!1!

OK, all of the boxes will be piled in there and I won't be able to do a thing for the first few weeks, but still ... dude ...

I could plotz.


Y'all Are Magic

And all y'all (that's the plural) are wonderful. And likely all cramped up.

How 'bout you uncross this, that and the other, stop dancing like a loon, blow out the candles, go get dressed and have a beer or three, while I start packing everything for my move to my new house. Next week.

We got the house.

And now I think I'm going to go lie down and try to get a nap while I figure out how the hell I'm going to do all of this.

Thank you, everyone.


Thursday, April 06, 2006



When you're this happy, why think of a stupid title?

100% benign. Disease-free. Basically I was just growing an extra breast. There's a 10-20% chance of reoccurrence, or so the surgeon says. I think, personally, that he just wants another chance to look at my tits.

Would those who were making plans for my stash please revise them tout suite.

Vultures. All of you.


Wednesday, April 05, 2006



And here I go and whine about my husband's feline-related perfidy on yesterday's post and then I don't actually explain myself.


OK, Ben's really really really allergic to cats. I had cats when we got married and he didn't whine about it then, and it was never brought up as an issue. However, we have four cats in a small apartment, and he can't breathe.

No, really, he can't.

We had spoken about giving the cats away but I spent quite a long time behing hysterical and hating him a lot, so it never went anywhere. Yesterday a co-worker of his said she wanted a cat, so he offered her one of ours.

It makes sense.

And I'm also sick and tired of the contstant whining, hatred, honking, bickering, etc. So I'm looking for homes for the knittens. If anyone in the Vancouver area would like a used cat, I'm the gal to email at bunniegirl at shaw dot com.

Yes, I'm serious. It seems a small price to pay for a decrease in the marital discord. Besides, my husband's too damned big to flush down the toilet and I don't have time or the energy to dig a hole to hide the body, and another week or two of this bitching and that would be my only option.

Write me, babies.


On Tenterhooks

I have no idea what tenterhooks are, but I'm on them anyhow. I have no news of any sort, so I shall bore the crap out of you by telling you all about it anyhow. Ready?

The Hat for Ben is going to be a stocking cap for some reason, so with all of the freaky decreasing I think I have 98 rounds left to go. If it sucks, I'll rip back and it'll be a toque and to hell with it. It's looking pretty good, though. I heart me some Magpie and if and when my finances are good again (and I'm not on this stupid yarn fast -- which I'm still on and haven't broken or anything) I'm gonna get my ass on eBay and buy a whack more. I think I deserve it.

The Sock for Sandra is about 1/3 done. I can't find it but presumably it's somewhere in my house. Last I saw it, it was being fondled by a bunch of knitters at Rachael and Lala's weeding. I'm hoping nobody ate it. If I can't find it, I'm going to blame Lala.

The folks from the house called today. They said that they didn't know what to do -- I have good references, I pay my rent, I'm employed and bla bla bla, but I have a bad credit rating. I explained that if yours is the only income and you have a small child and a husband in school and get dinged with $41k from the ol' leaky condo scandal, that it takes years to recover. If they want to rent to me, great (I did point out that I'm not asking for credit, therefore my credit rating should be less valid than if I was, say, buying a car) and if they don't want to, I'll deal with it. I told them I really wanted the house though and I get the feeling they're going to go for it. They've promised an answer by Friday.

I see the surgeon tomorrow at 10:30. The boob hurts and is a little ickful but I'm not particularly concerned. Details tomorrow afternoon. No more photos, though, because it's pretty disgusting. No, really. I told Jen all about it and she didn't eat dinner because of it (or at least that's her story, however it doesn't seem to have stopped her drinking the best part of a gallon of sake in the bathtub).

I'm now going to pluck l'enfant from the tub, stuff her in bed and knit and drink beer until I pass out on my nose.

Back to work tomorrow -- I may as well take advantage of my last night of freedom!

Tuesday, April 04, 2006


Doing Business on Demerol

Not a great idea.

Anyhow, today I mailed off the last of the packages of stitch markers that I've received payment for -- apologies for the delay, I've been a little occupied. If you've ordered some and haven't gotten them in about a week, let me know. I can't track anything cross-border but I can make more if I have to (and no, I won't charge you twice).

If I've ass-wonkily (wonky-assedly?) sent you the wrong order, please let me know.

Thanks for all of the kind comments on my last two posts. The wedding was just as lovely as you all imagine it was. Felicia, who was at the ... um, was it called a reception? At the eat/drink/knit thingie after the wedding, and who was tons of fun, was kind enough to mention me today, which has sent my stats sky-high. Clearly a popular lass. Equally clear is that I'm utterly crass and hadn't even asked the name of her blog as she sat there next to me and then later gave me a ride to the seabus ... *sigh*

I truly am a self-absorbed cow some days.

Self-flagellation aside (yes, I know you like watching it, but my arm is getting tired) I have an exciting week coming up. Heard from the doc's office today and they want me to come in to discuss the lab results. No urgency, nobody panicked to get me in the office today so I'm somewhat reassured. I'm going to see Dr. C. at 10:30am Thursday. Rest assured there will be details here by Thursday night.

I haven't heard about whether or not we have the house, yet, but I do know they've called my references and spoken to them, so I anticipate hearing one way or the other either tomorrow or Thursday. Again, not being a private person, details will be babbled all over the internets as soon as they are revealed.

I've almost bought yarn something like FOUR TIMES this month already, before remembering that I couldn't. I had no idea when I joined Knit-Knack's "Yarn Focus" that I actually had a problem. Yes, I've seen my stash. Shut up. I wanted to buy four more balls of the elann Highland Wool because the thing I was going to make with the four balls I have isn't going to be made and the other thing I'm going to make takes eight balls. I was also going to order more sock yarn from Patti, but I'm keeping my "free day" in case I end up crawling about in yarn with Lala and Rachael.

Oh yes, and it would seem that my husband has just given away one of my cats, which is sort of a pity, seeing he said that he went or the cats went, and I hadn't made any enquiries about finding them homes ...

Gotta go kill something now. More tomorrow.


And It Makes Me Wonder

Yesterday I was honoured by the invitation to be a witness to the legal marriage of two wonderful women.

Three years ago this wouldn't have been possible, and if the muppet we have running things around here now has his way, soon it won't be possible again.

And I ask ... Mr. Harper, just what are you afraid of? Are you afraid that homosexuals will rise up, join quietly in legal and loving union while surrounded by a supportive community of friends and family? Buy homes, contribute to society, work in meaningful jobs, adopt dogs, cats, oh god maybe even children, and live productive lives while being happy?

The horrors.

Holy shit, if we allow that sort of thing, next you know people will be knitting in public and women will think they can vote.

You see, marriage doesn't belong to you. It belongs to the community, it belongs to the families, it belongs to the people who are in love and who wish to devote their lives to each other. It belongs to god, and it is unspeakably arrogant of you to attempt to determine what god intended. He doesn't speak through you. He likely doesn't speak TO you, 'cause really, you're a bit of a twat.

I'd just leave it alone, if I were you. And, you know, if I wanted to be able to look at myself in the mirror in the morning.

Monday, April 03, 2006


Oh, Canada!

I don't think I've ever been prouder of Canada than I was today.

I was hono(u)red to be one of the witnesses today at the nuptials of Rachael

who is apparently only about three foot two and likes to hang out in back alleys in East Vancouver

and LaLa

who is clearly happiest when drunk as a loon

The lovely, talented and entertaining Mandy was there, as was her cooler-than-cool husband. She also has the coolest shoes this side of the Rockies.

Well, I guess the second-coolest shoes.

nobody gets cooler shoes than the bride

The ceremony was held at Full Bloom Flowers on Commercial Drive. They don't seem to have a website or I'd be linking here. The proprietresses (and their dog) were gracious and welcoming and the store is lovely. Photographs far better than anything I've managed here were taken by Rachael Ashe (who wants everyone to knit stuff for her and who also, incidentally had on very cute shoes. I sense a trend here).

There was a lovely ceremony and then we descended on The Sylvia Hotel, which is beautiful, and very knit-tolerant. Lala knits, did you know that? I didn't! (She can't count but that didn't seem to worry her. I'm hoping the child she's knitting for has at least three arms). I got about half of the rest of Ben's hat finished and met a bunch of fun folks who don't blog (but that's fine! We all need readers!) and staggered home before 10pm.

I think they should do this again next year

Rachael (the bride Rachael, not the photographer one) dared me to post a picture of my multicoloured boob here. I think the small sample below will explain fairly comprehensively why I'm declining to post the entire thing in all its glory.

I'm thinking I'd like to still have at least six readers left by the end of this post ...

Sunday, April 02, 2006


Apparently, I Knit

Yesterday's flash of the obscene stash seems to have shocked me into some semblance of reality. I have joined the "yarn focus" thingie over at Knit-Knack. Seemingly we can't buy yarn (apart from one "free day" a month for the next three months.

This has encouraged me to start knitting some of the truly yummy stuff I have in my stash. Here we have a new hat for He Who Has Been Very Helpful During My Recovery:

This is my dark grey Magpie, knit up on the new Lantern Moon needles. The stitch marker there is one of the ones that didn't sell right away. It's my favourite, and so I "sold" it to myself. It's sitting there to remind me that "make one" means make ONE and if one makes two one should knit two together where it will be hidden under the wide ribbed hat band before anyone around one discovers how to do math.

Here it is a few hours later. It's going to be a very nice hat and will be finished by Tuesday, I would think.

The stitch markers are almost all sold. I have only one set left, so I'll make more later this week. Take a peek again some time around Thursday if you're interested.

I also had an update on the sock situation but somehow it got lost. It's either on the camera still or lost in the mists of time. I'll try again tomorrow after I go be a witless ... um, witness at The Wedding of The Century.

The badger is progressing well. I have a purple boob, but the steri-strips are starting to come off, I'm in only a small amount of discomfort (could hardly call it pain) and I'll get an update on whether or not it was benign (more than likely) later this week. I'll also find out about the house by Wednesday of this week, so rest assured you can stop dancing and crossing stuff and lighting candles really soon.

It would also seem that in my breaks between bouts of knitting, I take time to arrange knittens in artistic poses.

The black one on the bottom, Diamond, was the runt of the litter and he is now about 32" from nose to tail. We're pretty sure he's going to rally and pull through, poor little thing.

Stay tuned for wedding pictures.

Saturday, April 01, 2006


Flash your Stash!

Well. Apparently I have absolutely no sense of self-restraint.

Luckily for you, I also have no shame.

Here, then, for your horrified amusement is about half of my stash:

First up we have three huge boxes of acrylic and ack/wool mix. I can't begin to tell you how much of this I have given away. I have no idea how I got all of this. (A fair bit of it was gifted. Most of it was bought.)

There is at least this much more in storage. I suspect there is quite a lot more.

Moving to the right, we have a fair-sized box full of yummy fibre waiting to be spun. There is a big batt of alpaca/merino/silk, a bunch of merino/tencel, some merino/tussah, some "New Zealand Wool" (we assume that's merino as well), some merino top, some kid mohair, and bla dee bla dee bla. In the bottom left hand corner is a little bundle of Kermit that I spun myself, plus the "mojave" merino that I spun a few weeks back and a toilet paper roll of "clownbarf".

I have likely somewhere around another 80 lbs of fibre in the storage lockers and in the bins and bags out front of the house. Could be over 100 for all I know.

Moving right along, in the next box is "the good stuff". This is what you want to grab if you're going to break into my house. Unless of course you spin, and then you want to grab that last box too.

In here are four skanks of Rowan Magpie in medium and dark grey, four balls of elann Peruvian Highland Wool in candy cane red, a skank of Cascade 220 in peacock blue, four balls of elann baby cashmere in Peacock, two skanks of Noro Silk Garden, some Scheepjeswol in a couple of different colours, an oddball of Jaeger with mohair, some lavender alpaca, a couple of balls of Pingouin Pescadou in a bright pink which is sort of fun, 1000 yards of Top of the Lamb (Brown Sheep), some Rowan cork, some Lopi, some sparkly stuff, some purply tweedy wool, etc. etc. And, for some god-forsaken reason, a ball of plastic canvas yarn.

Moving on to the end of the sofa, the last box is a huge Rubbermaid tub containing maybe half of my stash of cotton.

Just in case, you know, there's a world shortage of facecloths or something.

There are also two very embarrassed half-skanks of funfur. There's a lot more funfur and some ladder yarn somewhere but who knows (or cares) where?

Last up is my baking bowl, full of sock yarn:

Here we have Regia, Lorna's Laces, Fleece Artist, Kroy, some um, colorific something or other, some stuff hand-painted by Patti and a couple of balls of something VERY sproingy from elann. If you're breaking in for the good stuff, might as well take this while you're at it.

Clearly I'm not at all well.

Who's coming over to play?

Thank goodness I didn't have to flash my books or my stash of needles (just bought my first Lantern Moons last night and oh my god why did nobody TELL me??)

Here is little Tallulah again, just waiting for Franklin to come up with another good caption ...


I Don't Think So

18.75 %

My weblog owns 18.75 % of me.
Does your weblog own you?

Thanks to Jen for yet another time-waster. I have a feeling either I fudged some answers, or they asked the wrong questions.

And now, to round up the part of my stash that isn't in my (two) storage lockers and flash it!

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