Friday, May 28, 2010


It's Been ...

... One week since you looked at me
cut my boob up with your knife and said you're sorry ...

(sung to the tune of "One Week" by the Bare Naked Ladies")

So here we are, seven days post-surgery and I haven't had a call from the surgeon's office to "come in now" and talk about the results. I'm thinking that that means I've dodged the bullet again, thank the FSM.

I have my first follow-up appointment on Tuesday the first at 11:45am, and I'm assuming all will be well. You know I'll post if it ain't, don't you?

I don't think this should be a private process, although I am private about many things (some may be snorting right now, but those of you who know me well understand completely).

So far this has been remarkably undramatic. I took the Friday off work and Mr. Assmuppet took the entire weekend off. Even though we really couldn't afford to lose the income. I hardly ever ask for help, from anyone, but this time I caved without a fight. I really couldn't have coped alone.

He cooked up a storm and he and Her Surreal Highness waited on me hand and foot. Srsly, I've never eaten so much in my life or had my feet so constantly and devotedly warmed. For someone who has circulation as shitty as mine is, it was a blessing. I intend to put my feet on my family as often and as thoroughly as possible at all times from now on. I'm so glad that I both married and birthed mammals. (in case you're wondering, Boris the Wonder Snake has been of no use at all during this process. He's cold. Nuff said.)

I've had to take a couple of acetaminophen, a couple of ibuprofen, but the pain has been completely manageable. I'm serious here; I'm not particularly stoic and I would have taken the T3s (Tylenol 3 with codeine) if I'd needed them but I didn't even think of it; not once.

The itching has started (and I can't tell you how much fun that is ... but it's not really bad yet) but that's ok, because it means that the healing has also started. I've had a few shooting pains, which I think (hope) means that the nerves are waking up again.

This has really been a non-event, apart from the startlingly lovely bruising.

Yellow, gold, dark purple that's almost black, some magenta, a little green. There's going to be a new colourway called "Brokerack Mountain" (because if we can't laugh about the broken rack, what can we laugh about?). My left nipple (and I'm sure you all came here to hear about it) is so bruised that I suspect that they actually picked me up by it to move me onto the gurney after the surgery. There's really no other explanation for it. I'm in favour of vigorous nipple action at the best of times, but I've NEVER been bruised like this.

(I know, it's making you hot; admit it.)

I went back to work on the Tuesday, after taking four days off (Monday was Dead Queen Day, and I meant to post, because although most folks in Canada celebrate Queen Victoria on that day, I prefer to celebrate Freddy Mercury, a dead queen who actually means something to me ... but I just wasn't up to it). I really haven't had a problem working, although I was sore after having to sit up for eight hours that first night.

Anyhow, the long and the short of it is that I'm fine ... I'm still on the right side of the dirt and despite the remarkable fluorescence of my boob I'm both feeling and looking pretty much ok.

I'll post again after the doc's appointment on Tuesday, if not before.

And for all of the people who emailed me and left me messages on Facebook, asking what they could do?

My tumour is considered to be a cancer because of where and how it grows, even though it was benign the first time and likely is so again this time. (It's a sarcoma). I'm technically a breast cancer survivor, even though it wasn't malignant.

There's only one thing that you can do for me, and that is ... go and have a mammogram.

Seriously. Do it. For some folks it hurts a bit, for most it's not a whole lot of anything. If you've ever had your blood pressure taken, it squeezes about the same amount.

And even if it's less pleasant than that ... it's a whole lot more pleasant than having a tumour and getting all chopped up.

So go do it, k?

Friday, May 21, 2010


It's Gone!

The tumour is gone, and I'm home.

Sore, a little woozy, but comfortable. Mr. Assmuppet is making dinner and I think it might be naptime.

I'll post more when I'm a little steadier on my feet. Thank you so much to everyone for the good wishes.


Badger Eviction

Just a quick note ... surgery is scheduled for 2:45 this afternoon. I'll post a drug-addled update when I return.

Keep a good thought, darlings.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010


Brief Badger Blogging

Well hi there, uncola lovers ... I'll bet you think I'm just sitting here, cooling my tootsies!

(opening lines of a commercial for 7-up, about 30 years ago. Forgive me -- I'm old and I'm rambling).

This is just a quick update, as I'm stealthblogging from work (don't start calling management on me; nobody cares.)

I saw the surgeon this morning at 11:30. Same dude who sliced and diced me before. He's trying to schedule the surgery for this upcoming Friday (21st). I'm hoping!

Further updates as they happen. Plus more about Stitches once I get home :)

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


Rearing Its Head (Ugly)

The Stitches saga will continue, as promised (as will the tale of how I got deflowered at Denny's during Sock Summit) but this is just a quick update.

I went to the doctor yesterday morning and yeah, my tumour is back. I'm waiting for a date with the surgeon and in the meantime have to do a few test thingies (mammo, ultrasound, nothing scary).

Think good thoughts. It'll be sorted soon, I promise.

I also promise that after I sleep there will be another Stitches tale.

But until then ... the good thoughts, please.

Monday, May 10, 2010


Badger, Redux

For anyone who's been reading along for a while, you'll recall the breast badger I had taken out four years ago.

For the new readers, I had a Phyllodes tumour in my left breast. Surgically removed, and it was benign. It was still, however, considered to be cancer (oh hell, I said the C word) as it was a sarcoma and bla bla bla medical stuff and so on. (I'm not so big on technical terms, as you may have noticed).

Anyhow ... the chances of it coming back were fairly small. Apparently "fairly small" chances are still chances. I'm trying to deny the fact that it's back, however I have a golf-ball sized lump in my left breast again in exactly the same spot. I was trying to pretend that it was scar tissue, but scar tissue doesn't double in size within two weeks, does it? And it doesn't suddenly show up four years after surgery.

I go to the doctor on Tuesday and I expect, unless she has another explanation for this, that I'll be seeing the surgeon within a couple of weeks.

I'm a little scared but not totally freaked out. I'm a lot disappointed. They did say, however, that if it came back, the chances were that it would be benign again. Let's hold that good thought in our heads, shall we?

I'll continue with the Stitches saga shortly ... just sort of needed to put this out there.

And now, I'm going to bed. I have yarn to take over the border and mail out in the morning. Stay tuned for new yarn appearing in a store near you (I have agreed to wholesale to a store in the Eastern US. Details to follow once we've worked it all out.)

I may be down right now, but dude, I'm nowhere near out.

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