Saturday, April 28, 2007
Still on the Right Side of the Dirt
I survived my two shifts, just barely.
Life took a bit of a freakish turn (yes, it's been normal so far, shut up) yesterday when I was contacted and asked if I could do both of the display windows, as the person who had booked the other one for May had cancelled.
There was certainly a fair bit of running about and screaming, and also quite a lot of dyeing. I have another eight skeins or so (12 socks worth) of wool to add to the growing pile. Unfortunately this dyeing represents the time that I was going to sleep before work last night so you can imagine just how perky I've been all day, no? Let's just say today was a bad day to be calling for assistance.
Fortunately I was informed today that they were going to use the second window themselves. Relief! And it means that I'll either have more stuff in the window there, or I'll get my own store up and running faster.
In other, exciting-only-to-me news, I got a microphone, figured out how to set it up, downloaded both Audacity and Skype and crawled, muttering (recorded) epithets into the 21st century.
Um, hell. This is the 21st Century right?
I think I'm going to wait for the last four socks' worth of magenta something-or-other to come out of the dyepot (no, I'm not even writing stuff down today, just flinging) and then get my ass into bed.
A girl's supposed to at least know what century it is, right?
Right.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Going To Ground
I don't think you'll be hearing much from me until about Tuesday. I'm working a double shift tonight (10pm tonight to 4pm tomorrow afternoon) and then a day shift on Sunday, plus and also too I've got to get everything ready for the window at Birkeland.
I'm sure nobody has any great need to listen to me alternately whining and screaming and I strongly suspect that's most of what's going to be going on around here for the next few days.
I'll try and post a few wool pictures, if nothing else.
And to amuse you in the meantime, the latest searches that have brought people my way:
a) irish girl big red freckles an accent picture kid
b) whore quiz
c) japan ass
d) nicest butt
e) duck jokes hockey
and last but not least
f) ice cream bars on a fucking stick
It's nice to know that there's something here for everyone.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Am I Overdoing It?
Yesterday I said to my husband that his room smelled sort of funky (and not the kind that you can dance to) and that he should air it out seeing it was spring and all.
And he said "Yes, when I walked in here, I noticed that compared to the rest of the house, this room doesn't smell like sheep being raped in the Amazonian Rainforest".
What I would like to know is a) is it wrong for a house to smell like that? b) should I open the windows? c) am I dyeing too much wool and d) how does he know what Amazonian Sheep Rape smells like?
I am disturbed by these questions, but I'm beginning to suspect I'm not the only disturbed person in this household.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
The Things You Learn ...
For instance, did you know that the world is a hell of a lot more fun if you wear a canning kettle upside-down on your head for about half an hour? No, really, if you put the lip of it across the top of your forehead, near the hairline, sort of like one of those really fucking annoying sweatbands everyone wore in the 70s, and then walk around like that for a bit, everyone in the household -- including yourself -- sounds far more interesting.
I may be under a wee bit of pressure. Ya think? But never fear, I haven't had this much fun in ages.
downloaded the software for the store today, made stitch markers last night, ordered ben's designs on 3x5" fridge magnets today, put out for a quote (sent out, you perverts, not that kind of put out) for printing note cards and postcards, dyed more wool ... we're moving forwards. we are also speaking of ourselves in the third person, apparently, but we are fine.
just. fucking. fine.
shut up.
Monday, April 23, 2007
OMG
I just bought a domain name and hosting thingie.
Now to try to figure out how to do this.
If someone would like to come over here and kill me in my sleep that would likely work well for me.
okthanksbye.
(www.fibrestudio.net ... and there won't be anything there for at least a week or two, possibly as long as a month, as I take care of my other obligations first)
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Sourdough Bread, Goats, Lambs and Ice Cream
I have spent the few (very few) moments I have been awake today craving sourdough bread. Which is sort of funny because I don't eat much bread and I only buy sourdough like once a year or something.
Ah, how the blogging world has deteriorated, that we're (and by "we" I mean "I") posting about bread cravings. I actually once deleted a blog from my sidebar (and my bloglines) for posting her "to do" list, so really, if you need to ditch me like a pair of dirty socks, trust me, I understand.
However, in the hope that I haven't scared you all away I present to you some pictures of my Adventures with Kidlet yesterday at Maplewood Farm.
There were three of these. They all looked pretty much the same.
Some giant wobbling ho kept going on and on about how this was a "stupid sheep" because it had gotten into the pygmy goat enclosure and she was yelling for her babies who were on the other side of the fence.
I would just like to note, madam, a) this is not a sheep. This is a goat. There was a label on the enclosure saying "goat", b) the goat got into the wrong area because a stupid human opened the gates; those gates are not designed to be opened by goats. This is also why she couldn't get back to the right side until those of us who didn't feel like mocking an animal in distress decided to help her, c) the goat did not take HER baby stroller, loaded with food, into the pygmy goat enclosure and stand about laughing while the goats ate all of the food and half of the clothing out of said stroller before being reprimanded by farm staff and being forced to take her stroller out of the enclosure.
Beg pardon -- who was it that was stupid?
I think the caption pretty much says it all. This lamb was clearly put together from a kit and, not having opposable thumbs, his mother did the best she could but um ... no. The legs didn't work well at all.
He was also really skinny so I hope she fed him right after this.
A somewhat blurry photo of a very content sheep. With a fat little lamb tucked in under her chin.
There was green stuff growing all over the place. Some of it was goose poop, but some of it wasn't.
This isn't.
There was a screw-up with the pony ride thingie and we didn't get to go on one. Somewhat disappointing but they made up for it by giving us three free passes and Eleanor got a little horse's head (No! Not a real one you freaks!) for the end of her pencil and all was well.
And then we went for ice cream.
Friday, April 20, 2007
He's At It Again
And once again, I ask the boy for something and he comes through. The only thing I'm sorry about is that in this smaller size you can't see how Really. Truly. Pissed that sheep is. Oh man, is it mad.
As many of you have guessed, there's an online shop coming up shortly, and these pictures will be available, as notecards and as signed prints.
This particular one is to note my advent into soap-making. No need to get your pants in a bunch about it, it takes four to six weeks to cure and I haven't even cooked it yet, but it's coming.
I'd say that there will be an online shop within about four weeks, keep your eyes peeled. And in the meantime, pity the poor sheep ...
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Tomorrah! Tomorrah!
I'll blog ya, tomorrah, it's only a week away!
Yes, there seems to be some sort of rift in the time-space continuum happening around here and "tomorrow" can be anywhere from two hours to four days away. Who knew?
I'm still dyeing wool like a maniac in preparation for my debut over there for the month of May. In the process I have discovered that a) "dark purple-blue" and "periwinkle" are the same colour (either that or I made some sort of terrible dye-strength misjudgment) and b) my family is pretty happy to survive on frozen pizza, which is a good thing, really, or they'd all be foraging in the woods for sustenance.
The second blue sock has been finished (and worn several times!), and I have been using some beautiful yarn sent to me by Emma to master Wendy's toe-up sock pattern. Mostly I have mastered this by having to cast the godforsaken mess on four times. I am attempting now to deal with the fact that although the toe finally looks really good, it also -- despite the measuring and swatching and math -- looks like it would fit my husband instead of my dainty tootsies. And if you think I'm giving him salmon-pink cashmere socks, you are highly mistaken. (please note, when i say "godforsaken mess" i am in no way criticizing the pattern, but my own casting-on skills and maybe my ability to actually count for once in my life while trying to knit something)
There are four or five other things brewing in my life right now (I'm busy, I toldya!) but in the meantime paddle on over to Christa's place. Seems she thinks I'm interesting enough to talk to about all of this sheepy stuff. Either that or I bribed her. Your call.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Sock It To Me
Yes, I know, I was supposed to blog this weekend but I was busy, and then I was going to lie and choose Sunday night for the date of this post but stinking flickr dates the pictures and, well, ok, now you know I'm the sort to lie about these things.
I ain't got nothing much for you, but I have proof that I still knit. Behold, one sock. The second is about 3/4 done.
It's the Seabury Sock (free) pattern. I started this to use up a skein of C220 given to me a year or two back by Gaile and realized part-way through the first sock that I had exactly HALF of the amount of yarn needed for the pattern as it was originally written. I chose to make it a very short ankle sock, instead, and use these as "keep-your-feet-warm-at-the-computer" socks rather than "hiking-through-the-back-country" socks. Seeing I spend a lot more time at the computer than hiking through the back country I thought it was a reasonable choice.
And now, I'm off to drink beer and knit on the endless soul-sucking mitred-square blanket my daughter made me promise to make her. Ooh! I've finished the one I was making last year. Maybe there'll be more pictures tomorrow.
And an update on all of the other insane stuff I'm planning on doing with all of this wool I'm dyeing ...
Friday, April 13, 2007
I Win
Seems I've won my battle at work.
Three months too late to avoid trashing a good portion of my year, and three months too late to retain anything approaching loyalty, but at least it's happening.
Allegedly. I'll know for sure in two weeks.
And now to go shower and stagger in to work and pretend to be interested. And knit another sock. I still knit, honest. There may even be photos tomorrow, for all I know. And further details about yarny goodness.
And then maybe I'll gird my loins, and all, and wade into the next battle. Because who doesn't like a nicely-girded loin?
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Gigglesnorting, Here
| You Are 40% Abnormal |
 You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul. You are at medium risk for having a borderline personality. It is somewhat likely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at medium risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is somewhat likely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is somewhat likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer. |
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
If We Can Make It Fly ...
I was talking to His Drawingness last night, after watching two movies (both were fantastic, reviews to follow at some point unless I lose interest) and said, "You know, if we can make this wool thing fly, you might not have to keep going to that Workplace of Ass" (his work is worse than mine. Mine is temporarily bad, but his is chronic.
And so ... well ... I present to you another cartoon ...
And so ... well ... I present to you another cartoon ...
Send In The Maureens
My daughter has a unique accent, I don't quite know what it is ... she pronounces "bag" as "baig" and there are a few other words that have to be some sort of combination of my Scottish/Canadian accent and her dad's American pronunciation, but the funniest of all happened tonight.
I was trying to get her into bed, which is a full-contact sport around here, and I had threatened her with all sorts of horrible things like being stuck in the shed (which we don't have) with the weasels (which we also don't have) and so on, and then finally I said "If you don't get IN that bed and LIE right down (I think I was frothing at the mouth a bit at this point) I shall SEND IN YOUR FATHER and he USED TO BE A MARINE!"
And she said "Yes, I know my dad was a Maureen."
And then all of a sudden I had this vision (it's fun to live in my head, honest) of a band of big burly buff men, in print house dresses and combat boots, brandishing rolling pins and marching into battle.
We are the Maureens!
Semper pie and all that.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Some of What's Happening
Well, kiddies, there seems to be an immense amount of stuff going on in my life, most of it good. There have been a couple of new battles come up but I'm all through taking shit. I feel like I have nothing left to lose on any front and I'm just not willing to negotiate or shut up any more.
I've taken fairly serious action against the people who have been causing me angst. The first circumstance may well result in one person being fired, and not before time. The second definitely will result in another person experiencing some fairly uncomfortable times with Revenue Canada. The third? Well, let's just say if you work for a charity for five years and then give them two months' notice, and they don't even say goodbye, so long, don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out, then they shouldn't be surprised if they find the four or five vanloads of stuff you've been storing for them, free of charge, in the landfill pretty quickly.
Cranky much? Perhaps so. But I'm just not terribly interested in being stepped on a lot longer.
And now for the good stuff. I have been in discussion with The Place From Whence All Good Things Flow and it would seem that I'm going to be filling up their entire north window for the month of May with my little bits of coloured sheepstring. Not quite sure how it's all going to work but the gist of it is I dress the window, (no, not dress in the window, thank FSM) people go in to look at my "stuff" (which, again thankfully, is not the same stuff that people would be seeing if I was dressing in the window), Birkeland hands out business cards and price lists, I sell my thangs. Not sure yet if anything will be for sale actually out of the window during the month of May, in which case I'm going to have to dye a hell of a lot more than I was planning on, or if everyone will have to wait until the end of May, but if you're in the neighbourhood please do take a stroll past and ogle the goods, as it were, some time during that month.
There's a lot more going on, but that'll just have to be the teaser for now. Here's some of what I've been dyeing and which will be in the window, in a somewhat less tangled state, in May. (It's drying now. I don't really leave stuff lying about looking like this for months. Unless I forget to do anything with it.)
Thursday, April 05, 2007
The Final Clue
Here we go, the third and final drawing. This one makes me gigglesnort quite madly.
Rushing about, trying for the third day, seventh in-person visit and second phone call, to complete what should have been a 20-minute tax preparation process. Oh, and I somehow have to clone myself so that the phone company can come fix my phone when I'm not available.
Hopefully real blogging tomorrow, but if not, stay tuned for a weekend of madness.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
More Somethings Going On
Really, I'm tired and I gots nothing to say. Just thought I'd amuse you with a little more brilliance.
This sort of thing is the reason I don't kill him and bury him in the woods.
Heh. Almost said "bury him in the wools".
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Something Going On Around Here
And here is Hint #1.
Drawn by my husband.
Girl's gotta have a logo, don't she? And a resident artist, if she can get one.
Monday, April 02, 2007
Speaking of Yarn
This is the end result of the crock-pot dyeing. Not the world's best photo but I'm too lazy to take another.
I'm pretty pleased with it. As apparently is my buddy Mouse who has agreed to trade this for some of her handspun. Apparently I am craving the handspun of others these days, as I have also engineered some sort of trade with another artiste for some of her stuff.
I believe I am able to duplicate (as much as one can duplicate in hand-dyed stuff) this colourway, and will be marketing it under a far more polite name. Mouse just insisted that it had to be horrible or she wouldn't want it.
Who knew that this whole yarn-diet thingie would result in a barter economy Chez Lapin? The only things I've bought this year -- apart from stuff to dye and sell -- were the two skeins for my birthday.
Despite almost drowning in yarn here, I feel quite noble.
shut up
Lucky Rabbit's Foot
There are compensations for having dead rats all over your house (shut up, I threw them all out, honest). One of the compensations is that if you happen to have a really warped friend, you may end up with your very own Dead Rat colourway.
Please note, this is "NR", which Carol explained to me means "No Repeats". Just in case I wanted, like, an entire Dead Rat shawl.
Guess who's getting her very own Dead Rat Socks this summer? (Me, not her, I'm not that nice).
Right after I knit up that cashmere. I know that I shouldn't make socks out of it but I promise to never walk in them. I'll just wear them when I'm riding around in convertibles, waving my feet out the side of the car or something.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Dearth of DPNs
I have wool. Yes, I know you find that startling but it's true.
Specifically, I have some DK cashmere in a lovely salmon colour that I really REALLY want to make into socks.
According to a couple of places I looked online, one should use about a US #4 (3.5mm) needle for yarn of this weight.
So I dug out all of my DPNs and, out of about 75 of them (yes, really. Shut up) I apparently have exactly ONE needle that size. And that isn't going to make nobody no socks, nohow.
I'm headed up to my mother's for dinner but I'm pretty sure I've already swiped all of her DPNs 'cause she can't knit much any more (although you can rest assured that rummaging shall occur, just in case).
And no, I don't have two circs that size either (and if I did I wouldn't want to use them for socks anyhow, 'cause I don't much like the look of that method).
Seventy-five DPNS. And only one #4. It defies understanding. And, clearly, pisses me off a lot.
If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go kill something now.
ps yes I could buy some and likely shall do so tomorrow, or even later tonight, but I want to cast on NOW and the needles are at the store way over THERE
I'm pouting
The Story of Bum and Ice Cube
Once upon a time, thee was a little boy named Bum, and a little girl named Ice Cube, and they lived on an island in the middle of the sea.
There were all sorts of magical things there. There were flying cats, talking horses and dancing weasels.
Everyone lived in harmony under the rule of Bum and Ice Cube until one day the talking horses came to them, very upset.
They said, Bum and Ice Cube, we understand that the weasels can't help themselves, and have to dance all day and night, but lately they've been coming around at breakfast time and they dance on the table and their feet get in our porridge. And they don't wash their feet so much, so we end up with a table covered in porridge smelling of weasel feet and really, no self-respecting horse would eat weasel stinking porridge, so by lunchtime we're pretty bitchy and hungry like you wouldn't believe.
And it's making us pretty cranky.
So Bum and Ice Cube had to go and talk to the weasels, and they said we understand that you need to dance but really, a moment or two spent on personal hygiene wouldn't really be that big a burden. And if you don't mind, could you keep your feet out of the horses' porridge?
And the weasels said oh, so sorry, we could just dance on the soap and then in the bath and skip the horses' porridge if you'd leave out some toast for us afterwards.
And everyone lived happily ever after. And nobody had to eat any stinking porridge.
The End.
this is an excerpt from The Tales of Bum and Ice Cube, with which I used to amuse my daughter for hours. I'd forgotten about them and then tonight Ben reminded me of Bum and Ice Cube and I thought if I don't write it down now, it'll be gone forever. This isn't quite how it went when we first invented it, but it's close. I don't think the horses cussed so much back then.
