Wednesday, April 25, 2007


Am I Overdoing It?

Yesterday I said to my husband that his room smelled sort of funky (and not the kind that you can dance to) and that he should air it out seeing it was spring and all.

And he said "Yes, when I walked in here, I noticed that compared to the rest of the house, this room doesn't smell like sheep being raped in the Amazonian Rainforest".

What I would like to know is a) is it wrong for a house to smell like that? b) should I open the windows? c) am I dyeing too much wool and d) how does he know what Amazonian Sheep Rape smells like?

I am disturbed by these questions, but I'm beginning to suspect I'm not the only disturbed person in this household.

You know.. I was JUST at the grocery store and Glade's "Amazonian Sheep Rape" air fresheners were on sale.
I could have got you some if I would have known.
(by the way.. my word verification is "keeshsxx" quiche-sex? I think we need to talk to blogger.)
wet wool + spooge + the smell of fear = amazonian sheep rape. makes perfect sense to me.
Your DH sounds like mine... to that I say "men, can't live with them, can't shoot them" * well, shouldn't. ;-)

I too would have asked how he knew what and Amazonian Sheep Rape smelled like..... hmmmmm.

Love your site, love your sense of humor and view on life.
Since I can't IMAGINE how anyone would know what Amazonian Sheep Rape IS, much less smells like, I'm having to conclude there's a REASON the man knows this phrase. And that, by itself, is disturbing!!! Yup, definitely ASK how the man knows ...
OMG, I am still ROFLMAO.

You know you've been dyeing too long when...

My husband comes home from work and complains about the wet-pukey-sheep-and-vinegar smell. Sometimes he's less kind than that.

I don't notice anything.

Do you think we smell like that when we go out among...gasp...other people? Their problem.

BTW, speaking of head-bands, remember Lillian VanderZalm??? Don't get me started!
congrats on your pending store opening! know that you have another eager customer waiting in the wings.

What happened to your headshot?
Have I mentioned I use citric acid instead of vinegar because it smells way better and also you can buy citric acid crystals so it's way cheaper and easier than lugging vinegar home? As far as the smell of wool, wool smells good. You can never have too much of it.

I guess there are those who rape sheep the world over, but there aren't sheep in the amazon, are there? Maybe he's just fantasizing...
OMG I damn near spit Pepsi through my damn nose. You and your hubby are so perfectly matched it is scary. hehehe
Men--you can't live with them and the pelt's too thin for a rug.

OK, I originally heard that about cats, not men, but that doesn't mean it's wrong.
Sounds like you married your match, that's fer sure. Heh.
The citric acid will get rid of the 'douche' smell, but I rather like the pickled wet sheep smell over, well, wet sheep who are, apparently, being tortured and maligned in the amozonian rainforest. Next, you'll probably find him making sheep porn. GAwd, you just can't ever take your eyes off them, can you?
My question is, what was the smell in HIS room that your numbed nostrils detected????
And what DID happen to your head shot?
"...beginning to suspect I'm not the only disturbed person in this household." Yes, take a good, long look at your daughter.

When was DH last in the Amazon? (raised eyebrow)
Speaking for myself, there are just some questions I'd rather not know the answer to.....
Signs of new yarn coming yay!

And you lost your head :P Sounds

like a perfect day lol.
The Amazon is a fascinating place. If you're in North America, go outside and pick up a handful of dirt. That's about four and a half million years old. Amazonian dirt is 600 million years old. It's a yellow aluminum oxisol, and retains about zero in the way of nutrients. As the temperature is ALWAYS over 77° F, the bacteria that builds humus, the black rich soil we plant thing in, just goes on overdrive and breaks humus down to its primary chemicals. Every living thing in the Amazon is adapted to absorb and retain the nutrients of anything that dies around it, because if it gets to the dirt, it's gone, and gone for good.

When you hear about people logging the Amazon basin, that's bad. They plant a farm, but that farm has ONE CROP and then dies out.

13,000 years ago the natives developed a trick of adding anthropogenic carbon to the soil, creating Terra Preta do Indio, Indian black earth, that can support sustainable agro forestry. But western companies can't turn a profit on agro forestry, so they chop down the trees and plant one crop then run for the hills.

The natives have been doing this for millenia. You can't stick a shovel into the Amazon without finding signs of human habitation. The potting soil at the airport at Santarem is half potsherds.

As for the nasty accusations I've been hearing, why do all of you assume the sheep are the innocent victims? There are reasons anthropologists carry machetes, you know. We have to protect ourselves from the damn sex crazed sheep.
I recently started reading your blog, and I drealy LOVE the colorful vocabulary and your terrific sense of humor! Thanks for the laughs!
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