Monday, June 19, 2006
Google Searches
Strange google searches that brought people here in the last 24 hours:
1. Cold FX urine (no, there is no urine in Cold FX. It works, it's great, but no urine at all. Really. Just move along.)
2. Wording idea on houseworming thank you card. Yes, houseWORMing. I know I use strange terms at times; it's nice to know that others do also.
3. Rabbit hurts my ass. No, this is all wrong. I wish I could find out who that was and go and hit them. In the ass. With my rabbit.
That is all. Carry on.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Pardon Me?
Recent google searches:
a) and when one little panda puts his furry little willy
b) where can you find shirts that say I make cute babies
c) make chicken hats
OK, the hats I can understand (sort of) and the "cute babies" one, although desperately twee, is also understandable. But you? You over there, the panda guy?
You've got a problem. No, really. I'm calling the Panda Police.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Let the Licking Commence
No, I can't spin an entire pound in a night. Especially not of this stuff. I don't think it's going to be a big fave of mine (Perendale). I got 33 yards of total ass spun, set and dried. And sent it to my pal so that she would be happy that I hadn't filled the whole box with handspun.
No, I didn't take a picture, alas.
So I had to make a mad dash out to the store to get a couple of things to finish my Colour Swap Pal dealie, seeing there wasn't going to be anything resembling "enough" handspun in there. Toddled up to the new LYS ...
You'll notice I'm not linking to them. I don't usually when I dis someone.
Really, it's a nice enough store. It's clean, bright, colourful walls of "stuff".
However, it's almost impossible to find, the signage is nothing more than a small shopping bag in the window. The only thing I could find that had been touched by human hands was the beautiful hand-dyed sock yarn from Sweet Georgia Yarns which alone was almost worth the trip.
Everything else, Noro, Cascade, Lorna's Laces, Rowan, etc ... same as anywhere else, and at the same prices. They did have a really huge selection of Cascade 220, better than the place I usually go ... but I've got some serious customer loyalty going on so I'll likely drive the extra distance. They have more variety and more interesting stuff at Urban Yarns and when my car's not blowing up it's more than worth the drive to get there.
Well, I suppose that wasn't dissing, but it certainly was faint praise. I'm pretty seriously disappointed.
Anyhow, I left with nothing in hand and cruised by Birkeland Brothers and got what I needed while Eleanor got to go see their huge drum carder again (she's fascinated, as am I) and had a good long chat with the owner. She showed me some Perendale that was handspun by someone else, and quite frankly my lumpy fuzzy efforts weren't that bad. Maybe I don't suck quite as comprehensively as suspected.
I shudder to think of what Google searches are going to bring people here after this post ...
Anyhow, my package is mailed (thank FSM for post offices that stay open VERY VERY LATE) and I now have all of this free time looming (ha!) and nothing but months and months of knitting for ... ME!
Ann's got some Selfish September action going on at her blog I do believe. Perfect timing to only have 47 projects on the needles.
Starting tomorrow morning (or actually an hour from now). The first row of every single day has to be on something for me. I suspect that the second often will be also.
And would the yahoo in the back row stop jumping up and down and yelling "Eris, Eris!"? Really dude, it's getting annoying. I'm going to cast it on for the third time (shut up) tomorrow. Pictures this weekend.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Spam of the Day
Hoorny wildd horr*se-te*ens fu**cked. oinks
I beg your miniscule pardon? I'm not even sure what that one's about. My friend and I decided that it's about teenaged horses having sex with pigs (and I can't wait to see what google searches lead people to me now). Anyhow, it's just all wrong.
And horses don't have horns.
There will be pictures of wool tomorrow. For tonight, I'm just going to go make sure the horses with horns are all locked up safe, and such.
The pigs will have to take care of themselves.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Difference Utility Chicken
Well, that's certainly less disturbing than most of the google searches that have gotten people here of late, but it still concerns me.
It also makes me want a chicken dinner, but that's beside the point.
So, here we are, the day after badgersurgery, trying to get along with our lives and being very annoyed about the fact that the "total lack of pain" of yesterday has gone up to the "well, that doesn't feel good at all" of today and that we are finding it most useful to keep ourselves medicated. We also seem to want to refer to ourselves in the third person, which we find decidedly twee and annoying as fuck so maybe we'll just stop that shit right now, shall we?
I would like to post, proudly, a picture of the dishcloth I knit (mostly) in the recovery room and finished while stoned as a loon at my mother's house.
A little wonky, but usable. I wouldn't throw it out.
I'm sitting up, contemplating how long it takes demerol to get out of your system, wondering why my breast looks like an eggplant and also wondering why I haven't just given up and taken another pill and gone back to bed. Stupid rabbit.
I'm also an inch or so into the next dishcloth (because we all know the world needs more dishcloths knit while enjoying the benefits of a narcotically-enhnaced life) and I've finished the cuff of the second sock. Looks like I'm going to be allowed to stay in the Cirque du Socks even though I don't have enough circs in a small enough size to actually knit my socks on those. I'm pretending that my dpns used to be circs and the cords fell off. I was even going to learn to use the magic loop thingie but dude, I don't think that learning something new right now would be all that wise. Or, um, possible.
I'm going to have a lot of this left over so I think I'm going to make a baby hat and socks combo out of it. I don't think there will be enough for another pair of adult socks but I'll take it over to the post office and get it weighed first, just on the off-chance. Patti has more yarn up today, btw, in case you're coveting. I'm thinking that if my union ratifies our new contract, thereby bringing me a whack of cash (signing bonus), the first thing I'm going to do is bring all of my past-due bills up to date, and the SECOND thing I'm going to do is buy me like five of those skanks of yarn. (Because I have it on good authority that until you have as much sock yarn as some people, you don't have a problem.)
Ooh, and my Folk Socks book that I got off of eBay finally arrived! It was shipped later than I expected and certainly isn't in "new" condition. I mean it doesn't look like it's ever been used, but there's something sticky on the cover and there are some bashed edges and one corner is bent. I don't know if I can bring myself to leave "bad" feeback for her but I'm certainly not leaving a good one. I'm thrilled to have the book, though, and look forward to leaping ahead in my sock-making expertise. (would be hard to leap backwards now, wouldn't it?)
To answer all of the badger questions, I don't know how big it was, or what it weighed, but the surgeon said it was "huge" and then piled one fist on top of the other, you know, like you do when you're doing "one-potato, two-potato". I didn't get to take it home in a jar, because it was so big and scary and nobody really knows what it is, so it had to go to the lab. We don't have the pathology back from the lab yet so we don't know exactly what it was (could even have been a Phyllodes Tumor, which is scarier than the fibroadenoma that he thought it was, but still not an automatic death sentence or anything). I don't even know how many stitches I have. I'll find out more details next week when I go back to see the surgeon.
They didn't do the reduction. I would have had to wait months for that, and we didn't have months, the way this thing was growing. It just had to get out of there.
I'm not going to be posting pictures, this is just ugly and you don't need to see my boob that badly. Imagine an eggplant with a nipple, some stitches and a bunch of steri-strips. No dressing 'cause I'm allergic to all of that nasty tape they use and he didn't want to rip my nipple right off. I told you he was a gentleman.
Back to knitting on the sock and eating everything in sight ...
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Google Giggle
OK, I can understand people googling for things like "allergic to lace" and "phentex dynasty blanket". "Pantieless" is one that I just brought on myself, apparently, and I'll bet none of the people who searched on that word found what they were looking for (or if they did this is very disturbing news and I'd rather not talk about it), but REALLY people ... bearfarts?
Fucking BEARFARTS?
It would seem that Google returns ten results for "bearfarts" and this blog is the first of those results.
There have been at least THREE searches for "bearfarts" that have brought people here. Three.
What I want to know is who is doing this? Is it someone who remembers that I said "bearfarts" in one of my posts but who can't remember "Rabbitch" and doesn't know how to bookmark? Is there a large (well, ok, three) group of people out there with bearfart fetishes? Are the bears themselves searching for remedies to excessive flatulation?
What? For the love of dog, WHAT?
These are the sorts of questions that keep me up at night. Aren't you glad you're not me?
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Enough Foolishness!
Well, no, there's never REALLY enough foolishness.
Today's foolishness is the latest Google search string that led someone to this blog: "antoinette-dingdong photos".
Not only was I unaware that I had ever used this combination of words on my blog, but I was unaware that anyone would SEARCH for anything this odd. I wonder what they were looking for. I wonder if they found it.
Enquiring minds want to know.
But, strange searches aside, the foolishness to which I was referring was my argument with Rebecca. She wins. Hands down. She is the Knitting Queen and I, I am the Dishcloth Drab.
There, I admitted it. I'll be taking donations towards the therapy sessions.
The reason for my sudden and uncharacteristic capitulation is the fact that I am all in a frenzy over a recent development in my life. Today I seem to have managed to scoop a fleece. An entire fleece. A FREE fleece.
Or two.
Now, as many of you know (and as the rest of you are about to find out), I would love dearly to learn to spin. I have not yet had the time to do so, or the wherewithal to purchase carding combs and a spindle (or, my dream, a wheel).
So why, you may well ask, am I considering taking on a project as monumental as cleaning, carding and spinning an entire fleece?
Well, for one, it's free.
For another, I welcome a challenge.
I don't know yet what sort of quality this fleece is, or what kind of sheep it will come from, but one of the men at work has a farm and raises sheep and border collies. He didn't say WHY exactly he raises sheep, but he muttered something about them "not being wool sheep" which, to my keen mind, means that they either are for eating or work at an escort service.
I don't need to know which.
Anyhow, he gives these fleeces away, seeing it's not his main reason for raising sheep, and he will be happy to let me have some.
As soon as I find out what kind of sheep and if the wool is a) spinnable and b) worth having, I shall report back.
In the meantime, I'm breathless.
But not speechless. Duh.
