Thursday, October 04, 2007


I'm Much Better Now

Thank you all for your concern. I got neither pneumonia, pleurisy nor scabies. Not even gangrene. I did, however, cause a lot of people to work a lot of overtime, as I took two days off from work and basically lay in bed doing cough syrup shooters and destroying my gas bill for the month (did you know you can keep an ENTIRE house at 85 degrees for two days if you really try? Yeah, me either.)

One of the things that has brought me joy over the last two days has been the fact that I finally saw our black bear this morning. I heard a great crunching and munching in the neighbours' yard, and as he had been broken into recently and the lame fucks who thought it would be all right to go into someone else's house also thought it would be ok to steal his kid's x-box and a bunch of video games, I've been keeping an eye on the house of late. So I poked my head out to see what was happening and his motion-activated lights came on. I went, "whoa, that's a big dog!" and then I realized that there were NO dogs that big, and in fact it was our bear. He wandered off into the woods, still crunching and munching (bears aren't subtle). I was glad to see him. I was also really glad he wasn't heading for my house.

Another thing that has brought me joy is this audio clip, sent to me by Elaine, in response to my little rant of September 13th. I finally got to hear it tonight and it made me gigglesnort, bigtime. Thank you Elaine!

And now it's 6:30 in the morning and I'm going back to bed for like ten hours. I'll be at work tonight, sudafed willing.

And, you know, if I don't get eaten by a bear.

Oh Rabbitch, that is one sweet audio clip. Glad yer better.
I'm for blaming Sheepish Annie, since I just got over the Fall Cold myself.

I always used to give the telemarketers to my toddler, but he's a little big (8!) for that now.
We're all fighting off that crud, hope you're feeling better. How fun you got to see the bear! Lucky for you, black bears are herbivores for the most part, and when they do eat meat, it's usually already dead. And they're pretty scared of people, although this one obviously isn't that scared...
I'm so glad to see you're back among the living. You're also far enough away from me that you won't give me that shit you have. With no immune system left, I get every damn thing that comes around. Except better.

Yay on the black bear! They're so cool. We don't live close enough to the forest to see them, but Yosemite is full of them. What a treat to drive through there and watch them.

Did I detect pictures? ;)
Oh right, YOU are the one who gave me the creeping crud.
OMG, that clip was hilarious. I need to bookmark it and listen to it several more times.
Congrats on needing only sudafed to survive at this point. And the bear, cool! We live too far away from the mountains to see them around our house (here in Colorado), but my husband's family has a cabin in the foothills, and we've seen them there a few times.
Once, one broke into the cabin and made an unholy mess, but mostly it's just cool to see them. From the safety of the cabin. Out walking, a bit scarier.
I'm glad you're feeling a bit better -- there's some horrible stuff going around this year already! I love the bear story -- I used to work up in a place that had black bears as well as the occasional brown bear, and every year, during the hot season, there would be a rash of brown bear sightings which always turned out to be some poor black bear that had been rolling in the dirt to cool off. Take care!
Are you sure there isn't a bear playing with the X-box somewhere?
Glad you're feeling better. Glad you took two days off! Glad you saw the bear, and he didn't decide to get chummier. ;)

Now, can you offer any ideas as to how I explain to the ER doctors that I managed to break my frangibus or whatever it's called from laughing so hard at that audio clip?!?? (Thank you. And Elaine. WIN!)
My grandmother, z"l, swore by "The Cure": Take a bigass mug, and pour into said bigass mug the following: 2 shots of whiskey, 2 shots of lemon juice, and 2 shots of lemon juice. Top it off to the top of the mug with hot tea -- the black stuff, none of that mamby-pamby herbal stuff. Drink the entire contents of the mug in 5 minutes -- "It's medicine, not sipping whiskey!" Get into bead in your heaviest pajamas ("What do you mean you don't wear pajamas? Of course you do. Go put them on.") and get into bed and go to sleep. In the morning, take a lukewarm shower. That, apparently, is important. When you are finished, you will feell like a new person.

It works, too.

Alas, I finished a lifetime of drinking rather sooner than one might have expected, so it no longer cures me, but I do think of Grandma every time I give it out.

Hope you feel better.
Oh, too bad about missing out on gangrene... and teal is such an attractive color on some complexions! Glad you're on the mend. The bear story gave me shivers, as we used to live on a black bear's 'route'. Our driveway was part of her territory, and our fierce little Corgi gave her hell once too often and got smacked hard enough to break her back...awful stuff. We used to take pizzas out to the town dump and watch them eat in the evenings, and a neighbor had her door ripped off one morning. Apparently the smell of frying bacon was too irresistable to the bear. Life in northern Wisconsin was a bit too 'earthy' for me, but I do enjoy your rants about things. Be very well. The blogosphere would suck without you. Cami
That audio script was hilarious. I find myself inspired...
Um...a *bear???* Don't get me wrong. I like bears. They are all roly-poly and sometimes craftily steal Pick-a-nick Baskets. Really sweet...

But, I don't think I'd want to see one unless there was a big fence or something between us. Please don't get eaten by the bear. I wouldn't be able to begin to know what to put on the sympathy card!
Glad you're feeling better :) I heard that one and it's one THE best out there! Better than the do not call registry;)
OMG! I can't breathe from laughing! I could almost repeat (for effect only!) my sister's in-law's stand-by: "I laughed so hard a little bit of pee came out!"
I'm glad you're feeling better.

You have a BEAR!?
That is so awesome. Well, uh, besides the normal bear issues.
My parents who live next to the mountains in New Mexico get the occasional bear wandering through their yard. It usually eats all the available fruit, which gives it diarrhea, then it leaves big piles o' nasty bear poo. Good times.
Thanks for that link. I really needed a good laugh.
Glad you are feeling better!
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