Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Actual Entries on Hospital Charts
This was sent to me a couple of years ago by a friend. I was clearing up my email inbox tonight and found it again. It gave me many gigglesnorts. (and dudes, don't think this is fake, I've seen WAY worse on admission records).
1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very
hot in bed last night.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a
40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. She is numb from her toes down.
14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
15. The skin was moist and dry.
16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until
she got a divorce.
20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a
stock broker instead.
25. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
27. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit
on the abdomen and I agree.
28. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
29. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
I'm gigglesnorting madly here.
# posted by Rabbitch @ 6:26 PM 
Comments:
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sweet FSM, what is the world of health care coming to with chart comments like these?
my spouse (upstairs in bed) just shouted down to find out why I was pounding the computer desk and snorting and screaming laughing. I told him I would have to show him in the morning (sight gag).
un-fucking-believable!
anne marie in philly
my spouse (upstairs in bed) just shouted down to find out why I was pounding the computer desk and snorting and screaming laughing. I told him I would have to show him in the morning (sight gag).
un-fucking-believable!
anne marie in philly
# posted by 
: 7:14 PM
: 7:14 PM
22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
Good God girl... we need illustrations!
Good God girl... we need illustrations!
That was too fun. I love a good laugh/cry. I love the constipated until divorced. No doubt!!
# posted by : 8:45 PM
: 8:45 PM
Here I am, an innocent insomniac, catching up on blogs until sleep sets in.
Now I've lauged so hard that there are tears streaming down my face. I'm *never* going to fall asleep at this rate!
Now I've lauged so hard that there are tears streaming down my face. I'm *never* going to fall asleep at this rate!
#18 - isn't that the long way around to the thyroid? OMG - those are too funny.
Gigglesnorting here too!
Gigglesnorting here too!
# posted by : 8:06 AM
: 8:06 AM
Re #19, isn't it the ex who was supposed to be full of it?
And re #24, fairly common sight around *my* office.
And re #24, fairly common sight around *my* office.
# posted by : 2:59 PM
: 2:59 PM
TRUST me, as a nurse, I have seen REAL doctor's and nurse's notes like that before!
# posted by : 7:44 PM
: 7:44 PM
Oh man, I read that outloud to my husband and even he laughed. The man with NO emotion thought it was great. I posted it on my blog and gave you credit. Thanks for the laugh!!!!!
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# posted by : 5:48 PM
: 5:48 PM << Home
