Sunday, September 25, 2005


Three Guesses

Who would be stupid enough to lose the gas cap off my van when gas is at $1.169 a litre? ($3.79 a gallon for our friends south of the border).

a) a garden gnome***
b) a retarded chimp with a bug zapper up its ass*
c) my babysitter**

Just worked a graveyard shift. I managed to get a gas cap that almost-fit for free from the local gas station (thank you nice lady at Chevron!) that someone else's garden gnome had left behind there. I am going to go for six hours of well-deserved sleep before venturing out into the world of assmonkeys again.

And then I'm going to kill my babysitter and eat her.****

* this was my husband's suggestion
** this is the right answer
*** this may also be the right answer, for all I know
**** yes, the same one with the car tires and the broken stove and the abandoned dog

*****Perhaps you could have found a twin to your car/van and "borrowed" it.
*******I'm personally partial to the gnome theory. But that's just me.
Holy crap, lady. This person was put on the earth just to wreck your stuff.

Maybe you should just move away and not give her your forwarding address.
Cripe sake. That has just GOT to be infuriating!
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