Thursday, September 22, 2005
Breaking News
VANCOUVER, BC (BSN)
This just in. Our intrepid reporter, Eleanor Beatrice, seen here in her humanitarian efforts to save the Battery-Powered Panda Bear
has this day reported to her parents that the dreaded bath puppet, pictured below in his natural habitat of lounging on the flyer of mommy's spinning wheel
is a bastard.
It had long been suspected that this puppet was of poor moral fibre, and also of fairly skanky cotton fibre as he has all of these weird loops hanging off him.
We had not until this day known the extent of his perfidy, however "bastard" would seem to be the least of his worries.
A rabbit, who preferred not to be identified by name
said "I always wondered when the rubber duck said she got the clap from the toilet seat. I mean, it just didn't make sense. Not when she had been spending hours with the bastard bath puppet down her pants."
These speculations were brought to a head tonight when, during a game of "Make Eleanor Laugh Like a Loon," the aforementioned reporter, upon being tickled by the bath puppet, said in bell-clear tones, "Bath puppet, you are a bastard."
Her parents hastily defined the difference between "adult words" and "kid words" and in fact defined "bastard" as "quite a bad word and one that we would prefer you didn't say in school." These explanations were made while mommy tried not to pee her pants laughing while simultaneously being shocked, and while daddy tried valiantly to blame this transgression upon mommy rather than upon The Evil TeeVee.
Further reports as this story develops. Or when I stop cringeing and laughing at the same time.
It's all the Bastard Bath Puppet's fault.
# posted by Rabbitch @ 3:58 AM 
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Kids are VERY capable of understanding the kid words adult words thing. My daughter figured it out for herself at a very young age. She once told my mother 'Mommy says Oh Shit; I say Oh Bother'
# posted by 
: 5:00 AM
: 5:00 AM
Hehehehehe...it was only a matter of time.
(and you were laughing at ME because my kid said "fuck" at the dinner table...and you want to hear the best part? She backtracked heavily and said, "Maman, I didn't say fuck, I was just saying the French word for seal." Which happens to be phoque. Which happens to sound just like fuck. Except for if you drop something on your foot, the chances you will say, "Oh, seal!!!" are extremely slim. Nice try, though, eh?)
(and you were laughing at ME because my kid said "fuck" at the dinner table...and you want to hear the best part? She backtracked heavily and said, "Maman, I didn't say fuck, I was just saying the French word for seal." Which happens to be phoque. Which happens to sound just like fuck. Except for if you drop something on your foot, the chances you will say, "Oh, seal!!!" are extremely slim. Nice try, though, eh?)
# posted by : 6:47 AM
: 6:47 AM
It's all go at your house, isn't it? Goodness gracious. But could you please clarify, is the Bath Puppet nasty and deceitful, or was it merely born out of wedlock?
I don't think I ever experimented with naughty words, but one of my uncles did teach me that the proper way to great a lady was to smile and tell her she had a nice a--.
I don't think I ever experimented with naughty words, but one of my uncles did teach me that the proper way to great a lady was to smile and tell her she had a nice a--.
You seriously have the best, cutest kid ever. ever. I have no idea how you could explain that to her with a straight face! and I absolutely see why you are so enamored of her - look at that face. Even I would love her, and you know how I feel about children! ;-)
# posted by : 10:20 AM
: 10:20 AM
I'm jealous. My bath puppet is a prudish fuss-budget. He has never once tickled me to the point of lunacy.
# posted by : 12:09 PM
: 12:09 PM
hey, at least the bath puppet isn't a motherfucker.
good luck.
you could teach her the word in french -- batard -- no one would understand since it's a dead language
good luck.
you could teach her the word in french -- batard -- no one would understand since it's a dead language
Ah, yes, first day off the school bus, my then kindergartener, now married man, waltzed into the house, got right in his little brother's face and called him a "little fucker."
I don't remember any more how we dealt with it, so you see, Missy Moo, your parents really will have forgotten all about it by the time you're married!
I don't remember any more how we dealt with it, so you see, Missy Moo, your parents really will have forgotten all about it by the time you're married!
Seeing as how that bunny has a huge backside, is that where you are hiding all the ruff so you can make people think you have been spinning it?
:)
:)
Little Bunny Foo-Foo looks so much like you ! I see you clearly in her face. Somehow it is no surprise to hear Foo-Foo say something ..so..irregular as this statement.
My bath puppet by the way is a large purple flower with the head of Ernie in the center of it. It also squeaks.
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My bath puppet by the way is a large purple flower with the head of Ernie in the center of it. It also squeaks.
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