Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Dear Gravy-Sucking Pigs
Now, as you all know, there are many gravy-sucking pigs out there and if you're one of them then I apologize, as I am not addressing all of you.
Rest assured I shall get to everyone in the fullness of time, however today I am addressing a particular group of gravy-sucking pigs. Namely, those who write in books taken out from the public library.
You are not book editors. No, you are not. You are nasty little people who are writing in books that do not belong to you. Were you book editors you would be paid for this rather than spending your spare time defacing public property.
These books do not belong solely to you. I have no objection to you writing in books that you have purchased and keep in your personal library, however these books belong to the public. As I am part of the public, they belong to me as well as to you and I am asking you to immediately stop with your asinine and offensive behaviour. Behavior. That thing.
Stop. Right now.
Your "corrections" are often wrong, your comments frequently puerile and your marking-up of books that I am reading takes my attention away from the story, in which I am often immersed to the point that I don't notice the world around me.
In short, you insert your unpleasant personalities and your often-illiterate commentary into my personal escape pod and I will tolerate it no longer.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Floggings will commence at dawn.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Nibbled to Death by Dykes*
It's far more fun than being nibbled to death by ducks, let me tell you.
I'm back home after my weekend in Seattle. This weekend was just what I needed, and my family was so pleased and relieved that I actually returned that it seems to have set a fire under their asses. I have a new computer to set up as soon as I get the table in place -- Ben worked on it all weekend -- and there's much clearing and hauling of fibre and other things to be done.
Ryan is fine. Well, she's not fine but she's far finer than I expected, and she will be fine. Repairs are well under way.
And now to clean out an entire 10x11 room full of fibre. Apparently my daughter needs a new bedroom. I'll attempt a real post soon.
*(I told them I was going to trash all three of their reputations with one sentence -- did it work? I must clarify that most of the nibbling was done by E and L's new knitten, who repeatedly stuck his tongue up my nose. Oh yes, and their hamster hates me -- possibly because a) he's not a hamster, he's a hedgehog and b) I dumped water on his head.)
Friday, July 11, 2008
Nibbled to Death by Ducks
I was reading a book once (yes, I read, shut up), I don't remember which one, and some dude had died (that really narrows it down for you, doesn't it?). I don't remember what was listed as the official cause of death -- syphillis, a broken heart, alien mind rays (the three are very easy to mix up) but someone said "I don't care if the death certificate says that he was nibbled to death by ducks, I know he died of (insert something else here)."
Anyhow, that explains the title. The phrase tickled my funnybone, and I've ever since wanted to have that listed as my official cause of death.
We shall not, however, be needing a death certificate this week. I'm busy but not deceased. Nobody in my family is ill, and my mother is on the mend. Enough so that she and dad are watching Her Surreal Highness this weekend while I tootle off to see some friends in Seattle, including Ryan, who very nearly was nibbled to death by ducks, or its equivalent, quite recently and who needs my love and support. Or at least that's what I'm using as my excuse for slacking off for three days.
I'm sorry I worried people -- I hadn't realized it had been more than two weeks since I blogged.
The writing mojo left. It was the last thing to go. The reading blogs went, the knitting went, the dyeing went and then the writing went. I've had a difficult time of late.
The knitting has re-commenced and I've been dyeing again. The blogs? Um, I think I have several thousand posts to catch up on. Please excuse if you start getting comments from April's posts.
Oh, and I'm writing again. See? Here I am.
Thank you all for caring. And now I'm off to Seattle for some serious slackage. I might have to buy yarn and roving, too while I'm there. You know, seeing I'm running out.
Shut up.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Whatwhowhere?
Uh, I'm still here, I've just had an utterly insane couple of weeks.
Quick update; something more substantial (maybe with pictures!) later this week.
1. My mother is doing well, I think she'll live to be 100 (just to spite me). Thank you so much for all of the good wishes.
2. I did the fibrefest yesterday and it was good. If you measure the expenses against the sales, I lost, and badly. However, many of the expenses were for things I'll use many many more times (my very own event tent, shelving units, a table and so on) so I didn't lose at all, and I got to spend much of the day amongst my people.
x. You can get WAY more into a car than you think you can.
pi. Bacon is still my best friend. Apart from Ann, who likely has nothing to do with bacon at all. Except maybe eating it. shut up.
Life is pretty damned good right now, but I need to go now and do that thing that mortals do. I think it's called sleep.
A real update (now with pictures! Did I mention the pictures!?) is coming. Really. Maybe even pictures of my new yarnz.
Oh and PS, if you've tried to contact me via Ravelry, I haven't logged in for more than a minute or two in the last two months ... try emailing to teh dot bunnei at gmail dot com.
The dots and ats thing is to fool the spambots. The "teh.bunnei" thing isn't a typo.
Now bed. Really. No really, right now ...
Thursday, June 12, 2008
If It Ever Seems ...
... like a good idea to you to stand up and skein something like 5,000 yards of fingering weight yarn on a niddy noddy (in several skeins) in one evening ...
Trust me, it's not.
I'm getting ready for the fest. There are kits coming and they'll rock. But man, do I ever love whoever invented ibuprofen.
And no, it's not actually a lot easier on a swift. A little faster but it still breaks your back. The minute Mr. Assmuppet's tax return arrives I'm buying me one of them electric skein winding thingies.
I think I need that even more than I need new shoes.
Ow.
ps mum is home and doing well, thank you all for the good wishes. and the best thing about it is that she's in her home, not mine.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
My Mummy
My mum's in the hospital -- she had major surgery yesterday.
She's fine -- nothing malignant, just a few small repairs -- she's already been up on her feet for a few minutes and when I saw her last night at five she was high as a weasel on demerol, quietly spooning green jello into her left ear.
She was alert enough to refuse to drink the swill they called tea. She said "that's all very nice, but I really don't want something that's been steeping since 9am."
They're really good at patient care there, but the tea is unspeakably bad. There was also no paper in the bathroom, no washcloth and no towel. I do so love the cutbacks, don't you?
All of the things I've said about her? They're true, from my perspective. But she's still my mummy and the only one I've got, so if you could possibly spare a good thought or two I'd appreciate it. She's got about six weeks of recovery ahead of her and I suspect after about two more weeks she'll be irritating as fuck. I know I would be. And will be.
Send good thoughts and strength in our direction if you would; otherwise one of us is almost sure to strangle the other.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Going in the Car, Car
I'm going in the car, car
'Cause it isn't very far, far
I'm going to the fest, fest
And it's gonna be the best, best
Everybody sing!
A friend of mine recently asked if I was going to go to the Knit-Out and Fest in Victoria on the 22nd. I said no, I hadn't even been aware of the passage of time and that it was coming up so soon. I'd seen no advertising (mostly because I'm being a hermit these days) and hadn't even thought to bookmark it.
So I wrote to the organizer and said "dude, can I get on the list for updates for next year, seeing I've missed the deadline for this one?"
She wrote back and said "oh, you can still have a table, the deadline was just for sponsors."
I wrote back and said something along the lines of "Eek! Short timing! I couldn't possibly do it and also too I'm working full-time right now."
And then of course I said I'd take a table and immediately launched into full-scale crisis-management mode. Apparently I'm good at that. I thrive on chaos. No wonder Stephanie and I think that Kali is an appropriate name for me (Janice just still isn't working).
I've lined up a shitpile of good stuff -- some kits, some soap (seriously dudes, you want this ... if I'm not allergic to it, nobody is), some other thangs. There's roving in the oven right now. Seacell in "Tequila Sunrise" and if you have quite a lot of cash (like $8 an ounce) and don't value your vision you'll love it (magenta, orange, gold, you get the idea). I believe I'll be carrying some lines from other vendors also who won't be able to make it that day.
There's a dyed purple lamb batt for felting or spinning, a whole heap of sock yarn (and maybe even too some Revenge if you're lucky) and god knows what else.
So ... you going? If so, apparently I'll see you there.
