Saturday, June 12, 2010


Stone Cold Crazy

Tonight, Mr. Assmuppet and I had a rare opportunity. We had an invitation to go out, we were both off work, we had childcare and we had a little cash.

So, I put on makeup (which I hardly ever do) I put on some smellystuff (just body cream, Opium) and a bunch of jewelery (three rings, a bracelet, some earrings) and we headed downtown to the Railway Club, a fantastic venue established in 1931; I believe the original customers were those men who worked on the railway (I know, an astonishing leap of deduction).

I even shaved my pits in anticipation of the evening, which for me is a big concession, seeing I'm not so much into the shaving thing. And I'm sure you wanted to know that.

It's a way cool club and I've gone many many times over the last 20 years or so, but this was the first time I'd taken Ben there. They have a train track up near the ceiling and an electric train runs around the whole club all night long. I really wanted to share a special night with him.

They are a REALLY big supporter and promoter of local talent; if a local band needs a place to play, the Railway Club is the place for them to do it.

Tonight there were a whole shitpile of bands (I think four or five or maybe even six), but we went to see Stone Cold Crazy, a Queen Tribute band. I think you all know how much I love Freddy Mercury, and so I was a little apprehensive, but the bass player, Ferdy Belland, had assured me that they had a kick-ass Freddy, and so I thought ... what the fuck? Let's go see.

The first band that we saw was called Crimson Roots and um. Um. I hate to trash anyone's artistic talent, but they had little of that, as far as I could see.

The bass player and lead singer was a very nice-looking very young man, with a decent voice. He was on-key nearly all the time and he had the Rock 'N' Roll hair going bigtime. He was a little pitchy from time to time but who isn't? The music itself was ... excruciating. No, that's wrong. That insults a lovely word like excruciating. It was, perhaps, execrable (which is also a lovely word but in this case more accurate.) It could be that I'm too old to appreciate the sort of music they were playing, but it seemed to me to be a horrible waste of time, talent, energy and electricity. I would be happy to never see them again.

I'm just not so into thrashing electronic noise with no discernible melody. Call me a purist, if you must.

The second band, Girls 'N' Roses, was a Guns 'N' Roses tribute band. I was pleased to learn that one of the guitar players, Mel, was a former Capilano College student (I did office admin in the music department there for five years and I love running into the kids again.) The lead singer who was supposed to be the Axl Rose guy clearly had some serious performance anxiety. I have it too, which is why I don't do standup comedy any more (did I ever tell you that I used to? I only did it like six, eight times. No more, I just can't, even though I was good.) The first couple of songs, he was stiff, and sang to the band instead of to the audience. After he relaxed and got into the groove he was pretty good, although really, he shouldn't do that to his voice. Mr. Rose does the high-pitched screaming a lot and you could tell it was taking its toll on the boy. The few times he stopped with the screaming and sang in his own voice you could tell that he has a LOVELY voice. I do hope that at some point he uses it for good ...

That's not to say that it was a bad band; I enjoyed it and sang along, a lot. I just hate hearing people hurt themselves vocally. I'm a vocalist, I have two and a half octaves (not fantastic but decent) and I know what it does to you to stretch it out like that.

The third band? Well, that's what this post is about. Stone Cold Crazy utterly rocked my world. ROCKED. I never had the privilege of seeing Queen while Mr. Mercury was alive, but I'd like to think that had he known of this tribute band he would approve.

The man who did the Freddy impression had a FANTASTIC set of pipes. Fantastic. Huge, huge voice, easily hitting all of the notes. I think he went a little flat once, which is nothing, considering. He strutted, he posed, he did it up brown (I don't even know what that means but I heard it said once and I liked it.)

I was happier than a pig in shit.

Cold beer, hot music, and a man who loves me by my side. Can YOU think of a better night? Because I really really can't.

Now, you could tell that "Freddy" was straight. For one, he mentioned his wife (BIG CLUE there) and for another his wife-beater wasn't skin-tight.

But he still rocked my world.

Apparently they're doing another show in August and/or a Labour Day show.

And you can bet I'll be there.

With bells on.

If you're smart, and a Queen fan, you'll be joining me.

Well done, gentlemen. Well done and thank you.

Did I ever mention that you're a woman after me own heart? Well, in case I hadn't, consider it said. Also - bottom line? I'm TICKLED that you had that sort of an evening! Near as I can gather from reading here and FB you work 25 hours a day and the rest of the time dye and spin 22 hours a day and deal with the REST of life the rest of the time. Seems like you go for the occasional medical procedure so as to get some sleep! (By the way, my incense-burning-nekkid-moonlight-dancing candle magic seems to have worked, along with everyone else's religiosity of choice.) Hooray on you, is all's I can say. :-)
The first concert I ever went to was Queen. I think I was 15 or so. Nosebleed seats, but an awesome concert.
My first concert was seeing Queen (same age as Maia). I looked up Stone Cold Crazy but didn't find a website for them. Would be cool to see if they perform in Portland. The poster for the performance is great!
FYI: "Did it up in brown paper" = bought, wrapped, & sent home = totally owned, done thoroughly.
Queen was my very first concert. September 29, 1979 at Madison Square Garden. And my sister made out with our neighbor Eric through the whole show. So much fun!
I have to call it: Your brush with boobular mortality has made you SOFT! Mr. Assmuppet gets not only a name but some solid appreciation? I never thought I would see the day.

It's nice. Betcha hate that word.
As a pressie - the song currently at the top of my recently played songs list.....

Wish I was on that coast, but alas! Enjoy.
Hooray! That sounds like an excellent night out, and I SO wish I lived close enough to come to one of their concerts. I love good live music (but at least I get to see the Wicked Tinkers soon; I loves me some Wicked Tinkers)...
Now that sounds like a fantastic night! Well done and well deserved. So glad you had the opportunity and had your world rocked too.
You doing okay?

Haven't posted in a while.
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