Wednesday, January 13, 2010


Let Sleeping Blogs Lie

Well it's been over a month, so my blog is officially dead. And yet, I have the urge to write again.

Is there anyone still reading? I'd be surprised at this point.

I survived the holidays -- how about you? I worked a hell of a lot and ate a ... well ... um, not to dis my mother but a really apathetic turkey thing on Giftmas.

We had some of the usual holiday angst (one year she actually started revving it up in like freakin' APRIL, can you believe?)

The conversation this year went like this:

Her: I'm tired. I just can't do Christmas at my house any more (this, after insisting it be at her house)

Me: Well, we could just do it at my house -- why don't we move it down here?

Her: No, I've bought the turkey breast (never mind that my husband and daughter prefer the dark meat -- she'll only cook a turkey breast) and I've cleaned. We'll do it here. You know, R, (downstairs neighbour) only has to cook the turkey, she gets so much help, her children bring the vegetables and potatoes.

Me: Well, I'm working the night before and on Xmoose night too, but Mr. Assmuppet could do the potatoes and we could bring them.

Her: No, no, that's fine, I bought frozen scalloped potatoes from M&M Meats, we all like those, it will be fine. But they don't do frozen carrots any more.

(as an aside, we live in the Pacific Northwest, there is bountiful produce all year long; there is neither reason nor need for frozen carrots, dammit!)

Me: Well, we could bring the vegetables.

Her: No, no, I have them, it's all right.


Anyhow, we went and it was ... bland. And borderline vile (the veggies were either frozen or pre-packaged or something) but we ate like the little troupers that we are, and Her Surreal Highness had fun so that's what counts, right?

My parents gave us a bunch of gift cards for the local store (very nice) and I gave my mother three pairs of earrings I had made and which she seemed to geniunely like. My boyfriend-in-law gave us some good wine and some very very nice glasses, and then I went to work and made double time and a half.

So all was good.

Until my mother said "OK, we'll have Christmas at your house next year, but I'll buy and cook the turkey and bring it".

She will fucking NOT. Next year we'll have food that tastes like food.

So tell me, how were your holidays?

Good to have you back. And also glad to know that Christmas food issues are not unique, but yours seem funnier.
I'm still here chick! My holidays were good (my mum can cook *grin*) but the new year so far has SUCKED ASS. C'est la vie, huh?
OF COURSE we Faithful Readers are still here, hanging on every syllable. Sounds like you had a great time!
(newish reader) My mother-in-law has a serious case of the blands as well, and with the advent of vegetarianism in the family we had pasta on christmas eve (instead of yummy yummy ham) and lasagna on christmas day, all of which was food, if not terribly interesting. I did contribute boozy fruitcake and fudge and we acquired a popcorn maker and a bottle of scotch in the yankee swap. I made a ham (glazed with brown sugar and chipotle) for New Year's day and all was right with the world.
I'm still reading and check every day!! Glad things are "normal".
how is the yarn dying business?
Darling, what the hell? You should know by now that you do not talk to your mother between September and January. It' a universal rule or something.
And tell her in November that someone has gifted you with a turkey for Christmas and her breasts can be left at home.
My mother made sweet potatoes out of a BOX, if that tells you anything. Dehydrated sweet potatoes. Not even canned.

I did not partake.

Keep writing, we'll keep reading!
Still reading? Well, that's what bloglines is for!

My holidays were quiet and I made the offspring help cook, all of which was fine.
You're not the only one with a sleep blog right now. ;-) Mine IDK just haven't felt like writing either!

My holidays were great! Loved every minute of them.
Well, I certainly feel much better about my holidays, now. Also? Parents, [sigh].

Post as often or as infrequently as you like. Bloglines will pick up your posts for me all the same. Heck, posting infrequently lightens my reading load and makes me read your posts first because they're special/rarer.
glad to see you survived the holidays. Ours were scattered between our kids' houses, but my son-in-law did a nice rib roast and stuffed baked potaotes, so the food was fine. Maybe by next Dec. I will have conquered my house and they can all come here .. or maybe not!
They sucked ass.
But thanks for asking, doll.
Glad to see you back! This was the first year I didn't go home for Christmas. I was expecting to be sad, but it was really ok. I could get used to this.
I'm still reading...

Our holidays were very low stress. No parental units involved to attempt guilt. Brother and sister-in-law are awesome no-drama/guilt people, so it was a pleasure to hang with them and nieces.

I'm so psyched you're coming to Stitches West - looking forward to meeting you! (And shopping at your booth....)
Quite a bit of that same passive aggressive chit chat you had. No wonder so many people eat and drink too much over the holidays. It is because of all the time with our families.
14, now 15, comments! Not bad for a dead blog. ;-)

- Your neighbor to the South, only not as south as Stitches West, damn it
God made automated blog grabbers for a reason.

Sorry your holidays sucked (except the doub-time & a half) - mine were banal. The daughter's flowers arrived on the Tuesday after (undoubtedly because she ordered them around 10:00 christmas eve night) and the presents that were to have been wrapped and sent when she returned home from her father's in California never materialized. What else is new?

family sucks.
Do we have the same mother? Mine is a good cook, but oh, the martyrdom.

Glad you're back.
Still reading. I have a subscription!

Christmas was better than expected here.
It pays to be fickle, because we
are still here, knowing you will surface somewhere sometime, and it will be funny...
Of COURSE we're still here, still reading. Your posts are like truffles, few and far between sometimes, but oh such a treasure when they do appear.
Your experience reminds me of a song...join in if you know how I feel..
I'm dreaming
of a passive-aggressive christmas
(under breath) NOT
just like the ones I used to know...

Glad you survived. I always look forward to your intermittent bits of wordiness.
Still here. Hoping you're doing okay. Not so good at commenting.
and THAT's the reason I don't allow any of the inlaws to bring food, ever.
sadly Havala's mil is a horrid cook, canned asparagus? blech. that isn't food.
xmoose was a very quiet blissfully alone at home day :^) xmoose eve was with my clan which equals good food and very good times, lots of stories and laughing.
hee, that carrie, "tell her to leave her breasts at home."
You post, I read. Christmas was Christmas. Same routine. Acquired yet another hideous holiday garment (not quite a sweater, not quite a sweatshirt) despite last year's passive-aggressive protests (apparently they were received as gratitude, what up with that?), got a few things I liked, gave a few things that people apparently liked. The food was good, though.
Thanks to Google Reader, I'm still here!

My holidays were pretty good, if very tiring, but on Saturday my aunt insisted on cooking some elaborate ... thing .. that was barely edible. She has very high aspirations, when just a stew or something would have been great and not kept her in the kitchen for hours with such a result. Ah, family.
I was wondering if this thing was still on - radio silence and such. Christmas came and went - not remarkable but not scary either. Thankfully I am with just one daughter as family - inlaws went with the ex so all is calm on holidays. Life is good! Glad to hear you are still kicking. Welcome back and hang in! - Vicki in Atlanta
Still here! How could I ever stop reading you?

Holidays? What holidays?

We attempted to go to the Casino for their fancy buffet, but they closed early. So, we went to Shari's (24/7 joint up the hill from where we live).
I'm still reading!

Christmas... well, I work retail, and Christmas season so is retail hell/heaven (depending on your point of view). So, wasn't one of my best Christmases ever!
You're back! yay! glad you survived. And as an aside, today I used the word 'Giftmas' for the first time ever (never even heard it before) this evening and now here it is in the blog! Ah, the power of the bun-bun.
Never mind my holidays---I'm just very glad to see you back. I never quit checking for updates.
Welcome back! I still check here every week or so, hoping you've posted... my holidays were pretty nice. My mum can cook, as can my Father-in-law. I've wrested control of the vegetables away from both of them, as I think I do it better, and they've been gracious enough to let me.
I would have shot her. Sorry. But don't worry about losing readers -- Bloglines and Google Reader and whatever other aggregators are out there will tell us whenever you feel like whipping out a post.
We stayed home for Giftmas and then packed up and flew 3000 miles to visit family for a week over New Year's. There I took care of my two kids, served as housekeeper/companion/cook/driver for my temporarily disabled father and dementia patient mother (who are both in their 60's), and visited a dear friend/relation who died the next day.
It could have been better.
::puts up hand::

I'm still here too! I'm always behind in my blog reading, but always happy when I see you've posted.

Happy New Year - forget Christmas, that's so last year.

We're still here. Glad to see you are also still here.
And a Merry Christmas to you & yours and also Happy New Year and Happy Birthday.

Our holidays were pretty benign. I cook, so all was pretty good, including the large amounts of rum in my egg nog. Nothing like Screech to improve a holiday (or at least my outlook).
I am still wondering how you overheard the annual Christmas Dinner conversation that goes on at our house. My mom insists that it be at her house, on her terms, but then bitches nonstop about how tired she is. We just endure, then the next day fry at turkey and have our own meal - it is easier that way. Next year have fried turkey - it is the best!
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