Saturday, October 17, 2009
Send Help. Now. And a Brassiere.
I just went outside. Something big fell down my neck.
I grabbed and pulled out what I think was a big spider leg but it might have been a twig (the joys of living in the woods is that one can never be sure).
I flailed at myself for a while then ran in and took off both shirts. I asked my husband to check if there was a pissed-off 7-legged spider on me.
He took off my bra instead.
So now my boobs are to my knees and I think I have an angry spider in my pants.
Anyone have any bug spray?
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That's what husbands like to do. It's in their genes. They have no sympathy for the spider-afflicted, only thoughts of BOOBS! BOOBS!
. . . he took off your bra. And didn't bother to search else where for a spider? I think you are in dire need of 'the little blue pill' man.
I'm with AnnasMomma -- thank HEAVENS for Depends is all I can say. (Have I mentioned how all-tore-up FOND of you I am?)
There goes another keyboard, you'd think I would have learned by now. Rabbitch and Diet Coke do not mix.
Judi
Judi
One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small
And the ones that mother gives you, don't do anything at all
Go ask Alice, when she's ten feet tall
And if you go chasing rabbits, and you know you're going to fall
Tell 'em a hookah-smoking caterpillar has given you the call
To call Alice, when she was just small
When the men on the chessboard get up and tell you where to go
And you've just had some kind of mushroom, and your mind is moving low
Go ask Alice, I think she'll know.
When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead
And the white knight is talking backwards
And the red queen's off with her head
Remember what the dormouse said,
"Feed your head, feed your head"
And the ones that mother gives you, don't do anything at all
Go ask Alice, when she's ten feet tall
And if you go chasing rabbits, and you know you're going to fall
Tell 'em a hookah-smoking caterpillar has given you the call
To call Alice, when she was just small
When the men on the chessboard get up and tell you where to go
And you've just had some kind of mushroom, and your mind is moving low
Go ask Alice, I think she'll know.
When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead
And the white knight is talking backwards
And the red queen's off with her head
Remember what the dormouse said,
"Feed your head, feed your head"
So, did the spider eat ya? Or what?
Men. They are such children. Especially when it comes to underwear of any kind.
Barb B.
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Men. They are such children. Especially when it comes to underwear of any kind.
Barb B.
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