Friday, August 07, 2009


Summit Wicked This Way Comes

Intrepid Reporter Rabbitch here, on-site at the Sock Summit in Portland, Oregon.

I'm here to tell you that the crowds are amazing, the yarns are exquisite, and the peasants are revolting entire event is nothing short of a work of art, or perhaps of a very twisted mind.

We've completed the first full day of the marketplace and I've got to say that my estimate of "not enough yarn" in my booth has been escalated to full panic mode and is now hovering somewhere in the realm of "almost no fucking yarn at all, what was I thinking, was crack free that week?"

That being said, it's good to be back in the game again. Meeting old friends, making new ones, working on my wicked skeining muscles (no rilly, I'm getting frightening, anyone want to arm-wrestle for a beer?) and spending time Amongst My People is something I missed far more than I knew during The Year And A Half Of Madness and Advanced Twattery.

Last night's opening ceremonies were wonderful. I was amazed that I was in the same room as Cat Bordhi, Nancy Bush, Sivia Harding and Barbara Freaking Walker (no, srsly, can you imagine?) and managed to avoid peeing on my own feet like some overexcited chihuahua at a cocktail party.

Stephanie's speech was eloquent and moving, however I feel it is my duty as a reporter to touch on a point that she (perhaps even deliberately) declined to mention.

The speech held many glowing tributes to community, respect, creativity, camaraderie and so on, however, I think it was perhaps facile of her to omit mention of the real point of all of this.

The same focal point of any conference worth its salt.

That being, of course, hookers and blow.

I feel that, although painful, it is my obligation to expose the seamier side of a large gathering of this sort. With miscreants such as Farm Witch, The Tsock Tsarina, Jen VanCalcar, Pam Mann and myself in attendance, how could it be anything but a teeming cauldron of moral turpitude?

The hour grows late and I need to take my brightly-painted little self off to bed (red on the left fingernails, black on the right, red on my right knee ... just don't ask) however rest assured that I shall check in again as soon as can be with proper linkage, perhaps some photographs, and an update on the skulduggery going on behind the scenes (and perhaps under the table in my booth) around here.

For now ... keep your powder dry* and your chins** up. If you know what I mean -- and I think you do.

*dye powder, you freaks. It's no good if it gets wet.
**this is in no way meant to imply that any of my readers has more than one chin.

It was great to finally meet you, and you're definitely as funny in person as online (if a bit more nervous, but I figure most of us who deal with these newfangled computery things aren't as outgoing as we seem online, else we'd be out in the world being funny and charming, and the internet wouldn't be as happy a place).

I'm kinda glad my 30 minutes in the 'natter on about yarn' booth are up, but I did enjoy walking my yarn around the marketplace.
I'm glad you feel at home there! It is wonderful to be among one's people. It's also wonderful to see you sort of coming back to life.

And hey, if you run out of yarn, just leave a sign-up sheet. Then email people when you've got more. No problem. (Well, except for the entering of the emails. But then you've got a database for e-newsletters!) Just leave a laptop up with an Excel spreadsheet and have people enter their info. :)
I know you got some of the good stuff, so whaddya say we meet up later? I've got plenty of cash...
Thanks for the update! Everyone else seems to be maintaining radio silence, at least in my Google Reader. I figured y'all were drunk under a bike rack somewhere, Portland being the #1 bike-friendliest city in the US.
Thanks for the report! You so deserve to have a good time!!

I'm sure you'll sell out of yarn, but 200sks! Oh, my fucking god! that's an amazing feat (no pun intended).

You made me laugh this morning...I think I might have to become a stalker or move to Canada.
Sock Summit. Wow. What a hangover. Too much yarn and record breaking knitting and then I got to drive home in frackin' snail paced insane traffic. It truely twas' a pleasure to meet(drool on) you in person. Good luck with that freaky feeling of panic. It means you are good at what you do. Do it some more. and maybe its time to get a proper skein winder. just sayin'. have fun.
I loved seeing you on Thursday and was honored to be your firstest customer at the Summit! I'm sorry I didn't see you again, I had to leave and come home on an emergency basis (the pain took over). Please come visit us soon!
If I (capital/bold/underline) could go to SS09, it would have been to meet YOU! Thanks for the smiles you give me.
You should have seen me racing through the conference center after I said bai to you - cackling madly and waving the skein at people saying, "look, I got REVENGE!" which makes perfect sense to some of us but not everyone so they quickly got out of my way. Still, didn't make it to my meetup and am going to go deeply asleep to try to recover the bits of my brain still willing to work with me. Glad you're blogging - please colour me inspired or somesuch shit okay? I need the motivation. Truly brain fried and your booth has some amazing blow not to mention the tasty girls (I don't think anyone saw our transaction do U? Gotta be careful or they'll all want some.)
now that sock summit '09 has been a great success, here's hoping for a sock summit EAST next year. midwest knitters need yarny love too -- and the number of disappointed wanna-gos proves there's pent-up demand. indianapolis is a great convention city (don't laugh -- we do have hookers and blow, but we also have a big-and-growing convention center, a fabulous kids' museum and the home of the indy 500 and brickyard 400 auto races for starters. indy's easy to get to and less pricey than many other cities.)

hope you didn't have to take home a single inch of yarn . . . except for whatever you might have been knitting.
I got to see Janie Sparkles! I was so excited to meet her, I nearly peed on my feet, too.

So glad the gods of circumstance through you, me and Janie together at just the right moment.

She's a very good girl. Are you sure you want one like her? The nice ones are great, but the rotten ones are more likely to surprise you and keep you on your toes. What toes you have left. Surprise!

It was a pleasure to meet and talk with you.
Oh hell. I'm a dork. In all the brouhaha I neglected to come by to match face with words. I hope you did well at the Summit. It was amazing, wasn't it? Never to be equaled.
Lady, if you had coughed up the hookers and blow I could have arranged to have Janie Sparkles sleep with you.

Awesome to finally meet you missus. You are great.
I am SO proud to have made the miscreant list - what an honor! And you may kiss on me any time you wish - it was so wonderful to actually be able to hug you, kiss you, eat you ... uh, with you ... and slobber all over you. That was truly the highlight of the show for me. But did I remember to bring a camera to take pics to memorialize the event, or to remember that my phone takes pretty decent pics? NOOOOOOOO. Sometimes, I'm such a dork. But the memories are firmly planted in my head - at least for the next week or so.

Had there been blow available, I don't think anybody would have seen either one of us for the duration of the show. Blow and time alone with my lover the Bunny? Too good to even contemplate.

But meeting you, Mrs. Q... oh, the list is too long to type out... made my little heart go pitter-patter. I almost peed on my feet, too. Thank god for Depends.

Love you, darlin.
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