Thursday, July 02, 2009


If You Butter Them, They Will Come

I've been most negligent in my blogging duties over the last, oh, year or so, and as a result my readership has dropped off dramatically. And who can blame 'em? If there's nothing to read, why bother reading?

I think I've dropped from a high of 500+ readers a day to 90-ish, and I mentioned it to Mr. Assmuppet recently. He said "well, it's still a lot of people, but we could fit them in the living room, if we buttered them and packed them closely."

It seemed like a good idea, but then I thought "what about the vegans?" I mean, the vegans wouldn't want to be buttered would they? I resolved the problem by suggesting that the vegans should be coated in olive oil and stacked in the guest room. I mean, there can't be more than half a dozen, right?

These are the sorts of conversations we have in this house, which explains a lot, really.

Anyhow, for any of you who are still reading, I really appreciate your continued attention, and I promise the butter is fresh.

So things have been busy Chez Lapin. I'm getting ready for the Sock Summit and I think I'll have, oh, about half as much stock as I need. I'm also working almost full-time at the "good" job. About two days ago I grabbed myself a backbone or two and told the "bad" job that they should go and suck weasels because I'm never ever giving one minute of my time to them. It felt pretty good, and I actually managed to be polite and in my resignation email there was no mention of actual sucking or of weasels, although it was implied.

I've been working a lot at the "good" job, and have been spending most of the recent evenings there skeining yarn. There are some new colourways coming up and hopefully my Etsy store will actually have something in it tomorrow after I've had some of that sleep that I hear all the cool kids talking about. It sounds like fun and I'm gonna go get me some shortly. I have a big pile of green/yellow superwash merino that's a lot of fun and a few thangs of sock yarn and for the month of July, in honour of both the store's reopening and the birthday of Her Surreal Highness, shipping will be free.

I've also been reading a heck of a lot of books and I've been over the last day or two reading this thing. I mean this THING. It's by Lillian Jackson Braun -- she writes the "Cat Who" series. I read them from time to time, they're light and meaningless, sort of like the "natural flavoured" microwave popcorn of literature, or even "light butter", but this latest book makes me wonder if she's maybe lost it. It's "The Cat Who Had 60 Whiskers" and I'm 3/4 of the way through the book and so far there's no storyline and no plot. It's a pile of poorly written, uninteresting, disjointed paragraphs. It makes me sort of worry about her mental state. If you're a fan of hers, don't go read it. I mean really; don't. I shall be returning it to the liberry, tomorrow, unfinished.

And now it is the time for the sleeps. Again, thank you to all who are still reading. I will actually have some photos of new yarn (when I find out where I've put the frigging camera) in a day or two and maybe seeing I'm almost sane again I'll blog more than once a month ...

Bisoux to all of you.

I just want to tell you I've moved your blog from one feed reader to the next to the next in the hopes you'd be back soon because, my dear, you crack me the hell up. I'm hoping for a spot on the couch and butter sound delish, thank you.
Sorry to hear that about the Lillian Jackson Braun book, I usually enjoy them for a light read.

Hope you enjoy that sleep!!
I'm not a vegan but I think I'd rather be olive oiled (ooh.. kinky) than buttered.. it sounds more moisturizing and less sticky. Let me know what time we should all start showing up... ;)
Butter is good for me, I don't much care whether it's salted or not (do the unsalted get packed in the bathroom?)

Glad to hear that you are still alive.
So, do I need to fill out an application for the butter, or do I make a booking, or what?

Sweet delicious butter. And welcome back to the airwaves, Rabbitch!
I'm so glad you're back, I'm 1 of the 90 faithful. Too bad about the "Cat who" series, although I gave up on them long ago, they just weren't to my taste.
I will be looking for your Etsy store soon.
Sorry I don't have something clever to say, but I am pre-coffee impaired.
I used to read "The Cat Who" series and if you take a look at the author photo which hasn't changed since she started writing the series oh thirty years ago. I would guess that her age today would be about 130. My best guess is that the books have been written by ghost writers for at least the last fifteen years. Maybe they stopped paying them which is why this last one was so bad. Happy sleeping !!!
It is always a pleasure to read your blog.

And the Cat Who...series, I thought were lame and if her last was that even-more-lame, forget it.

Yarn. Yay!
you and mr. assmuppet are too funny. i can't wait to see the yarn!

Vegan margarine.
Good to see you're still around!

As for readers, if it makes you feel better, I moved my blog onto my own server and get the feeling that no one reads me any more even with me starting to post on a regular basis.
I'm voting for olive oil as I'm trying to keep dairy to a minimum. Nice to see you back!

And your low numbers are still higher than my average.
OK, so after that glowing review, I had to go to Amazon and check out other reviews of the book. 195 people gave it only one star. And apparently, people are fairly certain that Lillian Jackson Braun didn't actually write this one.

Hooray for leaving the bad job!
I was hoping that you would be at Sock Summit. I am never fast enough to get your stuff on line so to be able to see it in person will be fab!
I'm not a vegan so I can go in the living room but my cholesterol is a little high so I should probably pass on the butter and go with olive oil or perhaps a butter/canola blend. thanks.
Blog stats are down all over the place, it seems. Everyone is finding other venues for connecting on-line these days, I guess.

I'm still just an old-fashioned kind of gal, though. Blogs work for me. Hence, I remain!
and don't forget those of use who read on readers such as google reader and don't usually comment (professional lurker here! :D )

go get some sleeps! it IS the latest rage yanno...
I always used to buy Braun's books when I travelled as being so unchallenging even a run-in with airport security couldn't shake me off the plot. But if there is no plot, then there is no spoon. Thanks for the warning. Shame, that.

Oh, and I am a persistant PITA. Ask anyone.
I'm still here. And I like butter :-)
mmm, butter... (speaking as one of the 90...)
Could I have butter on one side and olive oil on the other? Then I'll stand in the doorway and look undecided.
I have read the Lilian Jackson Braun books too and she has obviously run of things to write about.
The Charlaine Harris ones are good.
I've always wondered who would name a sweet, defenseless little baby (because he must have been one once) Assmuppet. . .
Pity I couldn't be a fly on the wall in your house. That sounds like a fun conversation.
Sweet butter please and thanks for the heads up on the Cat Who latest. I've been waiting for Quill to start drinking again for years...
I was thinking peach butter. Guess that makes me a perv. Oh well...

She was born in 1913. I can see how she may have slipped a bit with the writing. It is a shame, though. I always liked those books.

Nice to see you, btw.
Olive oil, butter, margerine, whatever - I'm in.

Good to see you back!
You've dropped to 90? Shit... I wish I had 90 people in one day. It's a banner day if I get close to 50. Then it drops back down to 20. And I'm so witty, and literate and all that, and I can use dirty words as well as you. I just don't get it. I must not be funny.

Don't worry about SS - I don't think anybody other than TLE will have enough stock. I'm hoping to be rolling in the dough myself, but since I have artists I have to share the money with... hm... this would be a good time to fake my death. They all know I'm terminal anyway.

Sorry for the weak joke. Glad to be reading you, honeypot.
Man, now I REALLY hope I can get to the Sock Summit...I'd LOVE to get some more of yer stuff...
That book sounds like the last one or two books by Agatha Christie. Sometimes a writer (or her/his publisher) doesn't know when to quit.
Thought you might like to know... Blue Oyster Cult is playing July 10 in Abbotsford. Tickets start at $30... they still have floor seats for $45. Another concert I wish I could get to!
If the vegans get their own room can those of us requesting movie popcorn butter (you know that fake, orange, salty stuff) have our own room? If not, it's ok. I'll keep reading any way.
You can butter me any day, babe. But does this mean you're going to be at Sock Summit? Like, maybe I could even meet you in person (how stalker-esque)? Whoo-hoo!!
Tamar Myers, who writes the Magdalena Yoder and Abigail Timberlake mysteries has been the same for the last few books. If there's any kind of plot or direction, it's an afterthought.
Tamar Myers, who writes the Magdalena Yoder and Abigail Timberlake mysteries has been the same for the last few books. If there's any kind of plot or direction, it's an afterthought.
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