Monday, April 28, 2008
OK, Time to Stop
My post a couple of days ago about the person who talked about something I was keeping confidential was out of line, in a number of ways.
When I told the person who "spilled" my news we were in a public place, we were surrounded by knitters, I didn't haul her into the bathroom and whisper it to her. In no way did I indicate that the information that I was imparting was confidential. And it really wasn't, I've told about a dozen folks.
We had met once before, we had never emailed. We don't have a close personal connection. I like her and I simply felt like sharing some good news. She was excited for me as she likes me also (although perhaps less after this tempest in a teapot, which I regret) and so she told a few folks. She had no reason to think that I was giving her advance knowledge of an event.
Well, ok, so "telling a few folks" involved posting on Ravelry, but it still wasn't like taking out an ad in the New York Times, and her information was correct. There were no rumours involved at all. Nothing she said was made up.
SO, let's stop dissing her in the comments, k? I don't want to have to start deleting stuff, but I won't tolerate it any more, even though I know it's done in support of me and to bolster me through a hurt. As I've said before, this isn't a democracy, this is my blog which is mine and belongs to me (SNL fans may recognize this reference) so if I have to get high-handed I shall.
I've learned a few lessons over the last few weeks. Reading about myself on Ravelry has been a bit of a trip. Surreal, actually. I'm here in my penguin jammies at 4am dyeing yarn and doing my best to do what's right and feed my family. It's weird to read about this "me" that doesn't seem like me to me.
Reading about herself in my comments has to be equally surreal and also hurtful. She emailed me with an apology. I emailed back with an apology for public sniping. I'm socially inept and just didn't know what to do and so I reacted. The mature thing would have been to email her and say "dude, I wish you hadn't said that, can you delete the post?". The more mature thing would have been to have told her in the first place that I wasn't going public with this information yet, but what's done is done and we can't turn back time, no matter how much Cher sings about it.
She seems to be a kind and decent human being and doesn't deserve slamming, so let's stop with the slappage right quick, all right?
KJ, I apologize publicly to you. Seeing I smacked you about publicly in my prior post, it seems only fair. I was wrong and I'm sorry.
And now, seeing one can't put the toothpaste back in the tube, I'll share the news with everyone.
I hadn't posted about it before, except in a vague and oblique manner because I have self-confidence issues, as many of you know. I thought "what if it doesn't happen?" "What if the article never shows up and I look like a tit?" "What if I'm completely and utterly publicly humiliated and look like a poser?"
Well, I suppose all of those things could happen but it's unlikely.
Lee Ann, as many of you know, writes a column called Made in Canada for Vogue Knitting.
I'm going to be in that column for the Fall issue. It was submitted a couple of weeks ago so I guess it's really going to happen.
I believe there are going to be pictures of Revenge (which is why I was asking for pix last week).
I expect never to sleep again and I couldn't be happier. Sleep is for the weak. Dyeing yarn is for me.
So let's all play nice and try to assume that everyone intends well. Knitters and fibre people in general are amazing, loving and forgiving (apart from a few bitches who I intend to stab with Addis fairly soon.)
A little philosphizing here: Even before I started knitting, I believed that there are two sorts of people in the world. There are those who build up and those who tear down.
Knitters are builders. We take hair from the backs of animals (or sometimes plant fibres or extruded plastic, this is in no way meant to exclude those who don't use animal fibres) and we wash it and comb it and twist it into string, and then we dye it pretty colours and we build with it. We build socks and sweaters and blankets and hats. We build for our friends, ourselves, our communities and often even for strangers.
We build up. We don't tear down (we shall not discuss the tinking here).
And so, if you don't mind, there will be no more tearing down in the comments. She made a mistake. So did I. Mine was the greater error and if blame needs to be assigned it rests firmly on my shoulders.
As for the rest of what's happening, I'm working on getting a new supplier before the magazine comes out so that I can fill orders. I'm going to be a reseller for Ashland Bay shortly (another piece of news I've been waiting to share) as soon as I get the loot together. Probably June, the way things are going, but seeing it's almost May that's not long to wait. Very, very soon there will be yarn enough for everyone.
And now, if it's all the same to you, go and build a sock or something.
Make the Rabbitch proud of you.
# posted by Rabbitch @ 1:31 AM 
Comments:
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very well and bravely said. This whole thing passed me by (I only really use my groups on Ravelry which are mainly sci-fi geeks) but sh1t happens sometimes and we all have to put the big girl pants on and deal. Congrats on the article! Maybe you'd best get the young padowan into full dyeing mode...
;-)
;-)
Congratulations on the article and for coping so well with the vitriol that's come your way later.
# posted by 
: 4:04 AM
: 4:04 AM
woo hoo! I can see why you were excited and anxious both. I am happy for you, on all counts.
Love the 'building' comments, so often the things I do don't last - like washing dishes, or making beds. When I knit something, it lasts. And that makes me proud.
Love the 'building' comments, so often the things I do don't last - like washing dishes, or making beds. When I knit something, it lasts. And that makes me proud.
# posted by : 4:23 AM
: 4:23 AM
Well, OK. I have absolutely zero idea about any of this, but if you say so. Congrats on the article, though!
# posted by : 4:54 AM
: 4:54 AM
Didn't read the comments on the last post and so didn't know about the commotion, but YAY YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN VOGUE!!!!
Although I'm reading your post and don't really know what all this is about, I'm thinking, "Boy, I'm glad to know you."
Sometimes forums start up a cycle of endless snipe. Go, you, for stopping that wheel.
(And am I the only one who thinks word verification has gotten really HARD to read today?)
Sometimes forums start up a cycle of endless snipe. Go, you, for stopping that wheel.
(And am I the only one who thinks word verification has gotten really HARD to read today?)
Dunno about SNL, but Monty Python fans will certainly recognize the stance of Anne Elk. ;-) Mazel tov on having to forswear sleep from here on out! (Um, I'd be willing to take over and do your share.)
BTW, Alwen is right about the word verification. The one I'm probably about to fail to type in right looks curiously like "dr. freud" as seen through a mangle.
BTW, Alwen is right about the word verification. The one I'm probably about to fail to type in right looks curiously like "dr. freud" as seen through a mangle.
I beg to differ, Rabbitch...I don't see anything socially inept in your very eloquent apology. I hope that the one to whom you are apologizing agrees with me.
I also missed the brouhaha but am delurking to say you're fantastic. We all tick off somebody some of the time - but how many are eventually able to see the big picture? And to communicate it so well. Brava!
When we're excited for someone, we can say too much. When we're depressed and stressed out, we can say too much. When we're trying to support someone, we can say too much. Adults apologize and try to do better - brava, both of you. I'm sorry, too, if any comment I made here added to the upset. Hugs to you both!
Congrats on the article! Now, should I wait a bit, or just go ahead and email now about some Moral Turpitude sock yarn? [g]
(And Alwen, I second Tsock. You're so right. Blogger has been going nutsoid with the grotesque warping of verification words the last couple of days! Agh, my eyeballs...)
Congrats on the article! Now, should I wait a bit, or just go ahead and email now about some Moral Turpitude sock yarn? [g]
(And Alwen, I second Tsock. You're so right. Blogger has been going nutsoid with the grotesque warping of verification words the last couple of days! Agh, my eyeballs...)
# posted by : 10:14 AM
: 10:14 AM
Yay! That's exciting. I feel like you're getting so big. Dying sock yarn, become a fiberista, getting printed in Vogue. Don't foget about the little people, okay?
Darling Rabbitch, sleep isn't for the weak, it's for the dead. Long may you reign as a fiber wench. I'm holding out for the next wave of 'Revenge', because I like to think I'm letting you catch your breath... but who needs air? Money is definately better. Congrats on making it into print. Finally Vogue Knitting will have something worth reading in it. (sorry, I'm just an IK gal)
Congratulations!
Clearly, I've missed something somewhere, but I don't mind. It's your blog and your rules. ♥
Clearly, I've missed something somewhere, but I don't mind. It's your blog and your rules. ♥
Word verification? You mean that unintelligible blob below this comment box? Blogger did an "update" recently—probably has something to do with it.
Rabbitch, I commend you on your bravery, and congratulate you on your upcoming hallmarks of success! Vogue? WOW! Very cool.
My thought is that perhaps your experience is a valid lesson for us all, about reactions and bravery and better ways of handling things. Even if it wasn't the way you wish you'd done it, I wonder how many of us in future similar situations will remember this and choose a different response. It's all good. :-)
Rabbitch, I commend you on your bravery, and congratulate you on your upcoming hallmarks of success! Vogue? WOW! Very cool.
My thought is that perhaps your experience is a valid lesson for us all, about reactions and bravery and better ways of handling things. Even if it wasn't the way you wish you'd done it, I wonder how many of us in future similar situations will remember this and choose a different response. It's all good. :-)
May Good Karma continue to follow you wherever you wander. For whatever it's worth, I do believe that everyone makes mistakes, that perfection is a myth, and that it is more important to fix an error than it is to have never made one. I really have to hope it's true because I make lots of "learning opportunities". You're a gem. Shine.
I, too, don't really read enough of the Ravelry fora to keep up on who's saying what, which may just be a good thing. But I second (sixteen?) what everyone else has said -- good on ya for your handling of all of this. And yes, we are builders. I think that knitting is fundamentally an act of hope and good faith: if I keep pulling little loops of yarn through each other, I'll have something in the end. There are days when remembering that really gets me through a lot of other crap. Congrats on the article!! (I would also like to concur with the comments on blogger's word ids -- what are they trying to do to us?!)
Like others, I had no idea what was going on, but your post is eloquent and perfectly reflects your loving(and building)nature.
Judi
Judi
# posted by : 3:02 PM
: 3:02 PM
That was very gracefully handled, Rabbitch. You're an example to be looked up at. Sometimes the Internet can become a dogfight in a matter of two or three minutes, and it takes grownups and excellent people like yourself to stop it.
Also: looking forward to the article!
Also: looking forward to the article!
# posted by : 3:34 PM
: 3:34 PM
Said with class. And why you are worthy of not just an article, but maybe even an epic poem of sorts. (which I swear to you I won't write...) When one person stands up and does the right thing it sets an example for all of us.
Congrats on the article! That is just amazing!!!
Congrats on the article! That is just amazing!!!
Thank you for calling a halt to the bandwagon. Sometimes one just wants to say I'm tired and vent a bit, not cause a group bitchslap. I believe I'll go knit a sock. (My third--I'm so excited! I just started the heel!)
Ho-lee cow! I miss a week for stupid stuff like house cleaning and all kinds of stuff happened. I won't even go back and look over the "bad" stuff, I'll just look forward to the article and stories of your success. Congratulations! Did you know there's a pre-reading warning from Blogger? It says "Some readers may find the content objectional". ~snort~ You're just causing all kinds of sensations!
Nice Job on many fronts! No drama, just delight in Y O U
Yes, we love you, Rabbitch!
Will you help me diagnose my poor wheel so I can justify (to myself) my existance?
Yes, we love you, Rabbitch!
Will you help me diagnose my poor wheel so I can justify (to myself) my existance?
Good on you, Bunnyface. Now go and banish those self-confidence issues, okay? You don't need them any more.
# posted by : 1:20 PM
: 1:20 PM
Rabbitch, I am so proud of you! Even if it had never happened, we'd all still think you're great. And I apologize if I was part of the bashing shenanigans. Bad Commenters, BAD! Keep on rockin' sista!
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