Sunday, April 27, 2008
My Secret Alfredo Sauce Recipe
Today I slept late, woke in time to rescue the last slice and a half of bacon from the "bacon shark" who kept circling the kitchen and then headed out to the river.
Rocks were thrown, branches were floated, wood ducks were observed. Dogs were patted, many hours were walked, and everyone was tired and famished by the time we got back here.
And so I cooked.
As requested, here is the recipe for my Super Secret Alfredo Sauce.
I was in fact going to be lazy enough to buy trays of frozen fettucine alfredo and just add scallops and peas, but the store we like was closed so I settled for a jar.
Now you know the truth.
The mug behind it has nothing to do with anything, apart from being my favourite mug, sent to me by Emma last year.
After the sauce was put in a pot, I found I had a giant bucket of bland.
Here's the first step to saving the situation; a little olive oil and some coarsely-chopped fresh garlic.
Garlic is my friend. Fortunately the neighbours live far enough away that we didn't actually blow up their houses with our breath after dinner.
The next step in the improvements; a few baby bay scallops.
My version of "a few" is about the same as my version of "a little" garlic. I'm generous with measurements, apparently. This is about a pound of the little darlings, none even as large as my thumbnail.
Rest assured they did not die in vain.
The Bucket of Bland was vastly improved by the addition of a couple of large tablespoons of grated Parmesan.
The scallops, oil and garlic didn't hurt any, nor did a sprinkling of nutmeg and a few shakes of ground black pepper.
Generally I hate pepper, but you've got to have a little in an Alfredo. Just gotta.
Um, if you remember, that is.
Green peas make everything better.
Well, except for ice cream. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't help ice cream one little bit and could, in fact, make it worse.
Looks like wallpaper paste with green and white lumps in it.
Tastes like heaven.
It probably would have been better made from scratch but I just don't have the
I forgot to put in little bits of onion, too.
There's a good chance I'm going to hell for forgetting the onion.
In case dinner tasted like shit on a stick, I had bought some ammunition.
This is a cheap white wine (less than $9) from South Africa. Yes, my dinner of delight was rounded out by the sweat of an abused farmworker's labours.
Man, those farmworkers taste good.
(This is in no way meant to imply that I have first-hand knowledge -- or have even heard vague rumours -- of any sort of abuse involved in the making of this fine beverage. It just amuses me to say politically-incorrect shit on a regular basis. You may have noticed.)
(Also too the wine doesn't taste like sweat, at all. It tastes like fruit and wine and stuff.)
There were further fortifications purchased, in the form of a half-dozen "Blackheart Oatmeal Stout" organic beers, brewed by the fine folks in Nelson, BC.
I don't like stout, it's way too chewy for me; I prefer pale ale.
Ben, however, is partial to a good stout and oatmeal stout (which is, I believe, the thickest of this particular sort of beer) tends to be hard to come by.
He was well pleased with it and had a bottle before dinner.
The addition of some fresh crusty French bread and some butter was also deemed to be a plus.
You'll notice that one of the pieces (about one o'clock on the plate, I believe) looks sort of chewed.
The bread had been greeted with great cries of "Nom!" and bits had been ripped off and dipped in olive oil and organic balsamic vinegar almost before I got it into the house.
We're all about the bread around here.
And the dipping.
I then added a Caesar salad.
This was from a bag; I admit it freely. If I can't make an Alfredo sauce right now, there's no way in hell I can make a Caesar salad.
Served in little glass bowls and topped with squeezes of fresh lemon, it was deemed acceptable.
Acceptable enough that I hardly had to wash the bowl afterwards, it was so cleaned out.
Um, come to think of it, I haven't washed the bowl yet. Oops.
Well, that's certainly far from the ugliest dinner I've ever produced.
It feels good to be in the kitchen again, even if I'm taking shortcuts.
Oh hell, let's face it, I've always taken lots of shortcuts. We liked this so well I'll quite probably take the exact same shortcuts next time.
This was my first time cooking scallops (apart from the bacon-wrapped thingies that you grill) so I was nervous, but they were tiny and tender and delicious.
There will be a post of more substance shortly; I just wanted to let you know I'm not withering away in a garret gnawing on dry crusts as I languish and all.
# posted by Rabbitch @ 12:38 AM 
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Thank FSM that you cook the same way I do. I knew I couldn't be the only one. Except you're classier, because I've never tried the scallops. And I add a load more garlic. Good for your cholesterol, you know?
Good to see ya back chick. We all seem to be going through the mill at the moment for one reason or another. Keep your chin up and don't hold back on the garlic :-)
Huh. So, you stole my recipe. Huh. Okay then.
I thought you were up at the same ungodly hour as me, but maybe you hadn't gone to bed yet.
Glad you guys had fun with sticks and rocks!
Barb B.
I thought you were up at the same ungodly hour as me, but maybe you hadn't gone to bed yet.
Glad you guys had fun with sticks and rocks!
Barb B.
# posted by 
: 4:31 AM
: 4:31 AM
Looks like the yummiest meal that I haven't cooked in a long time!! Love the scallops! And don't worry about forgetting the onions...they give me heartburn! ;)
Mmmmmmm...bay scallops. I don't care for sea scallops much but the tiny, sweet bay scallops are a whole 'nother thing.
Gotta get some - and your Alfredo idea sounds just right - right down to the peas!
Gotta get some - and your Alfredo idea sounds just right - right down to the peas!
# posted by : 7:08 AM
: 7:08 AM
I made a similar dinner last week, but my pound of bay scallops was smaller and not nearly as pretty as yours. And we didn't have bread. But there was wine, so all was well.
# posted by : 7:36 AM
: 7:36 AM
Okay, sounds good. I shall try that brand. Your bucket-o-bland description fit the last stuff I bought to a T, but I don't know nuthin' about cooking so it didn't occur to me to doctor it. Bring on the garlic!
Outside of that Mystic Secret Scottish Fungal Saouce (you know the stuff, comes in a red-and-white can), Classico Alfredo is my FAVORITEST! I actually like it undoctored, so you can imagine how it CAN be....I haven't tried your recipe but you can count on my doing so e'er long. The husband could happily eat pasta three times a day - even with only butter and a little salt, so we're likely to be having this soon. Oh - and you know, Passover doesn't end until sundown TONIGHT, my dear Rabbitch, therefore, for all those superb pictures and descriptions of succulent, flavorful foods...THENK YEW *VERY* NOT AT ALL!
I thought we all cooked that way? Did I miss the memo about making everything from scratch all the time? Dang.
It looks like you had exactly the kind of day you needed. The ducks and the dogs and the daughter sound like they all came together excellently.
It looks like you had exactly the kind of day you needed. The ducks and the dogs and the daughter sound like they all came together excellently.
Lovely spread dahling! You are the Martha Stewart of the Great White Sauce North! I must say that my recent alfredo in a jar needed zesting up as well so I added a splash of an Australian wine I snarkily dubbed 'koala twat'. Imagine that flavour! I think 'koala twat' colourway was near the first time I stumbled onto your blog and I check on you every day right after you know ahem *cough* the harlot. You are loved.
# posted by : 11:28 AM
: 11:28 AM
Well, as we are about to tuck into a fine meal of frozen pizza, quite possibly with beer, I think that looks wonderful.
Pea icecream. Probably in Italy somewhere. Probably even done well. Or maybe not.
Pea icecream. Probably in Italy somewhere. Probably even done well. Or maybe not.
# posted by : 12:22 PM
: 12:22 PM
Well, there was that time when one of the local ice cream joints served up "Tuna Surprise" as their mystery flavor of the day. {It was not a success, but lives on in stories.}
I am not of the opinion that peas improve any dessert, but to each her own.
That's a way fancy meal, and you took pictures. That raises it above and beyond.
(Way to go!)
I am not of the opinion that peas improve any dessert, but to each her own.
That's a way fancy meal, and you took pictures. That raises it above and beyond.
(Way to go!)
# posted by : 5:03 PM
: 5:03 PM
WHAT IS THIS? A cooking blog???? heehee. There is nothing worse than a bucket of bland. You gave it some zip and now you've got me hungry.
Oh, sweet Mary that looks so good! I could nom my monitor but would probably get it all sticky.
Good to have you back.
Good to have you back.
# posted by : 7:03 PM
: 7:03 PM
I am so jealous of that delicious dinner! I had scrambled eggs.
I just saw your pic on Harlot's post on the Portland event.
Did you make that sweater? It's awesome, either way. AWESOME!
I so wish I could come over and watch you dye. Perhaps I could do helpful things for you, which your DD would find too simple and boring.
Hang in there, Rabbitch, this is the beginning of a really great life ahead of you!
charli
charlizeen on yahooooooooooo
I just saw your pic on Harlot's post on the Portland event.
Did you make that sweater? It's awesome, either way. AWESOME!
I so wish I could come over and watch you dye. Perhaps I could do helpful things for you, which your DD would find too simple and boring.
Hang in there, Rabbitch, this is the beginning of a really great life ahead of you!
charli
charlizeen on yahooooooooooo
# posted by : 2:18 AM
: 2:18 AM
Now you've reminded me I've been wanting to make a gallon or so of spaghetti sauce. I just hope I have enough garlic; I only have 1-1/2 heads left, and every last bit of 'em will go in there. Thanks to you, I shall now be chopping and peeling stuff half the day. Or maybe that's the other way round. ;)
And what's wrong with shortcuts? Does it taste good? Yes? Like the ravening hordes care, anyway. If the family eats it, it's good cooking!
And what's wrong with shortcuts? Does it taste good? Yes? Like the ravening hordes care, anyway. If the family eats it, it's good cooking!
# posted by : 9:58 AM
: 9:58 AM
ummmmmm, perhaps my invitation got lost in the mail? Looks like you had a great dinner anyway. Happy brains, happy muscles, happy tummies - a perfect day in my book.
Judi
Judi
# posted by : 3:08 PM
: 3:08 PM
girl my kinda meal.hell yeah a little this a little that.down soth we put everything in da pot.look forward to viewing more of you recipe..
# posted by : 2:08 PM
: 2:08 PM
Enjoyed reading the blog....made me laugh (okay smile) several times. As to the recipe, I think most of us have created a similar version to enhance that "bottled alfredo". Nice to see others do the same and read the comments.
I just found this, and it sounds so appealing with the scallops and peas. I usually put leftover veggies like broccoli, zuchinni, mushrooms, and red & yellow bell peppers into mine, along with a few slices of lemon peels that I take out before serving (I always freeze my leftover veggies, and lemon peels for soups/stews, etc... easy way to store them until needed). Delish by itself.
Thank you for the pics along with the step by step guide.
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Thank you for the pics along with the step by step guide.
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