Wednesday, December 05, 2007


Why Howdy!

Still here, still wearing pants.

Apparently somewhat hygienically-challenged.

I'm Charles the Mad. Sclooop.
Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey.


"You are Charles VI of France, also known as Charles the Mad or Charles the Well-Beloved!

A fine, amiable and dreamy young man, skilled in horsemanship and archery, you were also from a long line of dribbling madmen. King at 12 and quickly married to your sweetheart, Bavarian Princess Isabeau, you enjoyed many happy months together before either of you could speak anything of the other's language. However, after illness you became a tad unstable. When a raving lunatic ran up to your entourage spouting an incoherent prophecy of doom, you were unsettled enough to slaughter four of your best men when a page dropped a lance. Your hair and nails fell out. At a royal masquerade, you and your courtiers dressed as wild men, ending in tragedy when four of them accidentally caught fire and burned to death. You were saved by the timely intervention of the Duchess of Berry's underskirts.

This brought on another bout of sickness, which surgeons countered by drilling holes in your skull. The following months saw you suffer an exorcism, beg your friends to kill you, go into hyperactive fits of gaiety, run through your rooms to the point of exhaustion, hide from imaginary assassins, claim your name was Georges, deny that you were King and fail to recognise your family. You smashed furniture and wet yourself at regular intervals. Passing briefly into erratic genius, you believed yourself to be made of glass and demanded iron rods in your attire to prevent you breaking.

In 1405 you stopped bathing, shaving or changing your clothes. This went on until several men were hired to blacken their faces, hide, jump out and shout "boo!", upon which you resumed basic hygiene. Despite this, your wife continued sleeping with you until 1407, when she hired a young beauty, Odette de Champdivers, to take her place. Isabeau then consoled herself, as it were, with your brother. Her lovers followed thick and fast while you became a pawn of your court, until you had her latest beau strangled and drowned.

A severe fever was fended off with oranges and pomegranates in vast quantities, but you succumbed again in 1422 and died. Your disease was most likely hereditary. Unfortunately, you had anywhere up to eleven children, who variously went on to develop capriciousness, great cruelty, insecurity, paranoia, revulsion towards food and, in one case, a phobia of bridges."

Thank you so much, Lala

Tomorrow: Dyeing roving and other exciting things I have been doing which do not include sleep or laundry at all.

Geez, and here I thought Barbara Tuchman's book A Distant Mirror went into all the details about the 14th Century. I don't recall her mentioning a thing about Charles VI being mad! Honestly, the piddling details authors leave out...

May be a lunatic, but provides lovely yarns and interesting historical tidbits as well as country-shaped bruises, TV-personnel-scaring bears, and drinking. Woman, you're an over-achiever! (And glad of it we are. [g])
I just took the quiz and got the same results.. I'm slightly frightened now and going to go take a bath.. just to be on the safe side.
You are Pope Stephen VII ... or possibly VI!

Made Bishop of Agagni by Pope Formosus, you became Pope yourself in 896 by putting your immediate predecessor, Boniface VI, to death. Your reign lasted all of fourteen months. However, you firmly assured your place in history by putting the rotting corpse of the aforementioned Formosus on trial in the splendidly named Synod Horrenda. Naturally, Formosus was clad in full papal vestments. Having dug up the stinking remains once already, you proceeded to have them found guilty, reburied, re-exhumed, relieved of the three fingers of the right hand used in consecrations and finally thrown into the Tiber. All ordinations performed by the luckless Formosus were annulled. After this delightful display of gratitude, you were promptly strangled, paving the way for an increasingly short-lived series of successors and the reinstatement, dereinstatement and rereinstatement of Formosus' Papal deeds.

I think I like yours better!
Bwahaha! I really love the question "Would you consider your personal problems to be traceable to animal-related childhood trauma?" Given my sheep experiences, I suppose that one's a resounding yes.

Apparently: You are Joshua Abraham Norton, first and only Emperor of the United States of America!

Born in England sometime in the second decade of the nineteenth century, you carved a notable business career, in South Africa and later San Francisco, until an entry into the rice market wiped out your fortune in 1854. After this, you became quite different. The first sign of this came on September 17, 1859, when you expressed your dissatisfaction with the political situation in America by declaring yourself Norton I, Emperor of the USA. You remained as such, unchallenged, for twenty-one years.

I am empress, hear me roar.
Wow, you was a busy little king!
Holy shit! I'm Caligula!
"You are Joshua Abraham Norton, first and only Emperor of the United States of America!"

This. Is. Awesome. I'm an emperor and I didn't even have to move or get a passport!!!
Don't mention it.
Wow. I think it's funny how we look back at these people and think they were insane. We have people that carry on like this all the time in positions of power now, they just have better PR people to "control" what the masses find out. Almost sounds like he was bipolar.
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