Thursday, September 06, 2007


Riding the Drama Llama

I know that you are all sitting on the edge of your seats, waiting to find out the result of the llama fleece and moth story, so I'll put you out of your misery.

(for those who are waiting for an update on the dishcloth story, i have received about a dozen packages and i'll list names and post pictures tomorrow -- you all rock!)

After finding The Moths in the fleece and running about and screaming a bit, I jammed the fleece into two more bags and threw it into the freezer. I then did a frantic and relatively thorough search of that side of the roving cupboard and found that moths seem to prefer llama to any other fibre. Most of my other stuff was tightly sealed, but I nonetheless had to do a second search the next day. And I searched the other side too.

No moths, live or dead, to be seen, and there have been no ominous flutterings anywhere in the studio or the rest of the house since that day (yes, there is yarn and roving and fleece in almost every room, despite my efforts to keep it in here. apparently fibre wanders in the night). My daughter is on constant wool moth alert and would have notified me if one had even farted within a block of this house. She takes her duties seriously.

I left the fleece in the freezer for five days. Most folks said 48 hours and I'd love to pretend that I was being thorough but really I just wasn't paying attention and it was Thursday before I knew it.

Today I took the fleece out of the freezer and took it outside. I had no belief that any moth would still be alive after all this time, but I didn't want to be stupid and confidently fling it open in the middle of my studio, just to have fourteen moths fly out and eat everything I've got in here, including the computer. (no, i do not have a knitted computer, you are just being silly. shut up)

I'm nothing if not paranoid.

I looked in the fleece and relief!. There were a few moths, but hardly a thousand, or even a dozen. All very, very dead. It doesn't look like the fibre is particularly damaged, but time will tell.

I put it in a dark green garbage bag and set it out in the sun on our picnic table in the side yard, this being a particularly nice day. It's back in the house now (you know, just in case the deer or the bear start stealing fleece off of picnic tables in the middle of the night -- can't trust those bastard woodland creatures) and if tomorrow is warm I'll put it out in the sun again, otherwise I'll keep it in here for a few days to let any surviving eggs hatch and then jam it in the freezer for another week or so (or hell, a month, can't predict these things around here)

After it's been froze a second time I will wash and card it and then see what it's looking like. I really don't think it's anywhere near trashed. I hope not -- the colours are amazing, from almost black to chocolate brown, and glossy, glossy fibre. I suspect that Spirit's owner hand-brushed him daily and for all I know he may even have been allowed to live indoors.

When it was given to me I was told it was a "very dirty" fleece. Ha! Clearly this lady has never experienced projectile-pooping sheep (it's the only way to explain some of this Cheviot) or a cranky goat with GI issues and an overabundance of spite. There's some sand and a few twigs in it. That's it. I am dying to spin it, supported by this Moorit I've been hoarding for a year or so.

Yeah, I know I'm not good enough to spin anything like that yet, but hell, it's mine and I have the wheel(s) so I can't think of anyone who can tell me not to.

So there.

News Flash -- This Just In

I just searched both sides of the roving cupboard again, being a little obsessive, and upon turning back to the computer, bumped the edge of the keyboard tray, upon which my wine glass was standing, and sent a rather large glass of a nice pinot noir, which I had purchased to share with my husband over tonight's pasta dinner, crashing to the floor. It somehow splashed UP and soaked the back of my jeans and my underpants and the back of my chair. It's quite amazing how much floor space one glass of wine can cover.

The good things? The glass didn't break (yay for sturdy blue Mexican wine glasses!) and there was one more glass of wine in the bottle. It also missed hitting any of the wool, which is sort of bizarre considering it's piled in boxes and baskets and bags in every conceivable corner of this room.

The bad things? My ass, the floor and my chair all reek of wine.

If anyone out there has a terrible urge to lick either my ass, my chair or the floor of the studio, now would be the time to do so.

Just make sure you don't drive home afterwards, k?

The other good thing is that the wine didn't get into your phone. That can be a real pain. You don't realise how much sugar there is in wine until your phone stops working because the bits are stuck together.
So how is Canada's "Don't lick ass and drive" campaign going anyway?
Just wanted to let you know that you'll have another package of washcloths headed your way after the weekend.

Friggin things are addictive you know...Every time I think I'm done I tell myself "Just one more!" Must be that they only take a couple of hours and therefore, I'm practically instantly gratified with an FO.
*giggle snort*

Don't lick ass and drive.

Sage advice.
There are worse things your ass could smell like. Who knows? Maybe the DH will find it extra sexy. If not, I'm fairly certain that you've gotten a few google hits from various people who do.
Hooray that the moths are dead!
So...if I come visit, does that mean the only way I get wine is to suck it out of your pants?

You Canadians sure are weird. :)

And I have an assload of llama to idea where to start. It's in a wad, in a bag. If you get some ideas, let me know.
There will be another package of facecloths in your mail next week, assuming I get my own ass in gear to mail it.

You are also extremely lucky the wine avoided your keyboard and computer. Ask me how I know.
Oh, no! Not the midnight-blue French-cut underwear?! (I suppose I really shouldn't know this much about your undergarments, but our relationship is weird like that.)
It's a damn good thing I read this when no one else was in my office. Explaining about "don't lick ass and drive" is just not a conversation I want to have with my coworkers.

I didn't snort coffee through my nose, if only because I have learned by now to put the cup down before reading your posts. Or the comments.
Get yourself some "Wine-Away" It really works on the red wine stains. I know because I spilled an entire class of red on my BF's multi-thousand dollar oriental rug.
About those facecloths, I actually have the envelope and the cloths ready to go, but not quite at the post office yet, and about the wine and your licking up of...I say "fat chance"...get it....
I was out at a show recently, and apparently my hair was crazy, as it gets sometimes after a show, and my bandmate decided style it for me. With bourbon. I could hardly wait to drive home from that show, let me tell you.
Also, bourbon? Not a good hair styling product. Definite lack of hold. Stick with Bailey's for that.
Sure sounds like some ass-whompin' fine wine! I'm glad, though, to know that it's best to avoid licking ass and driving; on a Friday night it's good to get these things clear early in the evening before the night gets out of hand.
I AM glad to know about the llama, and what's more I look forward to seeing it when you are done spinning it, if you care to share photos. Please?

I've been curious about the washcloth count as well. I sent in a few, but there's another on my needles. Like I need another least this is a good one.
That would be a long way to drive to lick your chair or the floor of your studio.

Your ass is another story entirely.

(Isn't it always?)
Well, if that wasn't enough to make a girl want to consider the flip side, I don't know what would be.
Man, I could use a moth watcher... but more to keep me from freaking out. We seem to have meal moths. They come and go, but whenever I see one fluttering about I try to kill it in such a way that I can double check it's markings just to make sure. First time I started seeing them I went batty.
I'm blushing at the vulgarity of it all......or not.

Glad you don't have a real infestation and I think you should stop wasting perfectly good wine just to try to get someone to lick your legs.
~snort~ It would definitely be the first time I've ever had a ass of wine!
Somehow, the concatenation of these events makes me want to stay safely at home, where there are hopefully no moths. And lick the bottom of the classy plastic cup I'd have to use for a sour apple margarita if I found any moths...
If you have a wheel, you are good enough to spin...
I figure there are worse ass-smells than wine. Waaaay worse. (I teach ten and eleven year olds...I know these things)

Happy to hear that the llama will survive and grow up to be the yarn it was meant to be!
My friend Kelley (aka calicoknits) sent me a link to your website. She thought I would feel a certain kindred spirit with you since I am the llama, llama, duck goddess in my neck of the woods. I have made it quite abundantly clear that should I win the lottery and hence start my own alpaca farm I will name two of the herd Llama Llama and Duck in homage to that catchy tune!
I loved the comment about Paris Hilton's Hasidic cousins. The most hilarious thing about it is........ they really do look like Paris Hilton!!!!
A studio's not a studio until the chair smells like Pinot.
I'm sorry about the moths and I hope you've killed 'em all.
I was wondering where to send washclothes for your drive? I remember you blogging about it awhile ago, and yesterday a friend who has just moved to vancouver was asking if I knew of any place that could use the many washclothes she knits...I thought of your drive.
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