Monday, July 09, 2007


Things I Have Learned In The Last Two Days

1. If you trip and fall backwards, and fall against a drawer, and your pinkie finger is in the drawer for some damned reason, there will be blood and guts. You likely didn't know there were guts in your pinkie finger, but believe me, there was enough blood for me to assume that guts were also involved. (I learned this night before last).

I now have a busted-open pinkie finger (who knew 160 lbs against the drawer could cause that much damage) and a deep-seated hate for one of my kitchen drawers.

It's very sexy, let me tell you.

2. Whisky tastes very good but it has way too much alcohol in it and will make you dye things that are very bright and sort of insane but beautiful. You could go blind walking into my bathroom right about now, with all of the wool hanging from the shower curtain rod.

3. If you are dyeing wool while drunk, even if you are wearing gloves and if you are not dyeing anything at all that is purple, you will end up with purple hands. (again with the sexy but the blood red fingernails make up for it).

4. Cooked vinegar smells bad. But I sort of like it.

5. I am allergic to Eucalan.

Write this down. It will be on the final.

All counts duly noted, I am SO ready for the final.
(fingers DO have guts, they're very tiny but yes, they're there)

Whisky...oh yeah, lots of alcohol in that (hahahahaha). Whisky is not a very good friend to me..takes me down for several days it does...hammered shit is more like it. No way...160 lbs?
Eucalan makes me barf. I have to wash my sh*t in Victoria's Secret Panty Cleaner because Woolite makes me barf too.

Anyhoo...don't drink whiskey, unless you are Irish. I was weaned with a bottle of Jameson....I'm pretty sure. (My mom actually told me she used Jameson on my gums when I was teething. That explains SO MUCH.)

When are you coming to visit? :)
I want whiskey wool
Gawd. You poor bitch.

I accidentally slammed my toe into a television last week (it had shit the bed, was on my bedroom floor awaiting disposal). Broke my abnormally long second toe (left foot).

Yes, I was drunk.
Have some more whiskey and you won't notice any of that stuff.
My DH, back in his wild and reckless days, said that he thought if he stayed stoned all the time, everyone would just think that was how he was, and not know that he was high. (They later told him it did not work. And neither did his mullet.) Maybe the whiskey will do it for you.
Looking forward to the pictures!
Whiskey and dyeing... what a wonderful combination. Perhaps you could start a line of yarns in which part of the dyebath is whiskey? Nah, what an awful waste of such a delicious spirit...
Oh, now see. These are the sorts of things that one should never have to learn about oneself. Although it's too bad about the whiskey - maybe it's time to try single-malt scotch? Also, what is Eucalan -- is it one of those hideous painkillery-type things that's supposed to make you feel better but instead leaves you puking AND in pain? (Or is that just me?) Hang in there!
Whisky and kitchen drawers do NOT go together, but better the drawer than the knives that were probably inside it.
Yep, whisky has a lot of alcohol, and don't I know it..........nuff said. hehe
Sounds like a right proper night on the whiskey. Pain on hand? Check. Unexplainable things on your body? Check. Weird stuff in your bathroom? Check (your weird stuff sounds way better than what shows up in my bathroom on a whiskey night). The only thing you neglected to mention was the huge head and the taste of shit in your mouth. Whiskey ain't nobody's friend, but everybody's had a rough night of wild and crazy with him.

Sucks about your pinky though. Bet you never knew just how much you actually use that little bugger until now.
How pissed am I that you don't have a camera on hand to *show us* the crazed bathroom mess? or the gory finger... I likes me some gore. Kidlet #4 of 5 caught a soccer ball to the face (don't you accuse me of putting my kids in organized sp*rts - they are completely untrained amateurs!) and broke out a tooth (a baby one, whew) Lots of blood, but no guts.
Good call on the whiskey. Seagram's 7 was what I was raised on. That bottle never saw the inside of a cupboard!
I do hope the Rabbitch-hand is feeling better. Who needs pinkies anyhow, eh? Cami
::major wince:: Man, that sounds a lot worse than the time I was drunk and stepped on broken glass.

But wait. I got drunk first. That must've been the problem. We'll just draw a veil over the semi-orgy that occurred that same night...

Geesh, hope your finger heals up fast! Nnnnghghghghhhhhhh.
Hope that you feel better soon. I am starting on wash cloths. I find that the Peaches and Cream cotton is a bit stiff. Have you ever tried to wash the yarn before knitting? Is it ok to wash the cloths before I send them? I would'nt want to use them on my delicates the way they are knitting up, but I don't want the ladies to think that they have been used. And yes I am a bit of an odd duck....
Thank you for making me aware of the need and I will do my best to get a pile made and shipped by the cutoff date.
It's tequila that does me in... and it's not polite to discuss what rum does to me.

I can tell you that falling off a chair and down through the shelves of a bookcase is also not pretty. Although the colors of the resulting bruise might make a pretty yarn.
my daughter (she's almost 16) and i have been laughing our heads off reading your blog. sorry about your finger, and yes i could see where guts could be involved! my first thought was how long you might have been a lions gate emerg! your yarns are lovely. we live just a few blocks away from you in lynn valley! fellow yarn lovers and knitters all. all three of our children knit, university, high school and a boy in elementary. WE LOVE TO KNIT! and great yarns. thanks!
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