Friday, February 16, 2007
A Touching Story
A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?"
"No," I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless woman replied.
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked.
"No, I don't waste time shopping, the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"
"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight."
The homeless woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine."
a post of substance will emerge this weekend, along with many skeins of hand-dyed yarn, but i'm running out of energy today and i love this story
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(alright, I'm red in the face, I sent that to Norma, she send it to you? or hell, just nevermind, I need a good bitchslappin' I'm thinking)
::attempts to 'speak'. waves hands weakly. tries again. nearly falls over. takes deep breath:: Holy shit... Third blog in a row with-- ::whooping noises:: Hysterics. First Ms. K. ::wheeze:: Then Marianne's guest blogger. And now-- Ohgoddess. Ohfuck. ::tries to find a paper bag, no luck, subs 30-gallon plastic trash bag, t'hell with warnings::
You guys really are trying to kill me with laughter today, aren't you? What is it, a coordinated Blogger plot?? ::drags self off to die with what outraged dignity is left - not much - then turns back to glare:: Gotta be Blogger. When verification is apparently referring to nipply pixies, or pixy nipples, or some such thing disguised a 'npyxyo' - it's gotta be a plot. Just so you know I figured it out. And if I had any energy left, I'd reelyreely hate you. Reely.
You guys really are trying to kill me with laughter today, aren't you? What is it, a coordinated Blogger plot?? ::drags self off to die with what outraged dignity is left - not much - then turns back to glare:: Gotta be Blogger. When verification is apparently referring to nipply pixies, or pixy nipples, or some such thing disguised a 'npyxyo' - it's gotta be a plot. Just so you know I figured it out. And if I had any energy left, I'd reelyreely hate you. Reely.
'Touching' my great Aunt Petunia...this is my sister-in-laws' life! I hacked up a hairball laughing...
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