Wednesday, January 31, 2007

 

Updates and Reviews


Honest, I remember that I make extravagant promises about photos and reviews and all, but then life gets on top of me and I just get all stupid and go drink beer instead.

So first, some updates:

The Hat Total is somewhere up around 230. There are more pictures and prizes and I'm hoping to get that posted today, tomorrow, some time this week, in between shoveling out the disaster that is my home. You all rock. I'm going to keep the PO box going for the rest of the year. If anyone has any great urge to knit hats, scarves or washcloths, the shelters appreciate any and all donations.

The work situation still blows rabid wombats and I'm actively looking elsewhere for work. If anyone wants to hire a foul-mouthed middle-aged woman with no discernible skills, drop me a line. Oh yeah, and apparently I dress like a colour-blind whore and I want a lot of money, too. (the harsh assessment of my ability to dress myself comes from me, and not from my employer. but really -- a tight apple-green tank top over a black bra, covered by a magenta/turquoise/black plaid wool shirt? i'm pretty sure i'm not front office material)

The comment on my birthday post was about Jello fights, as in wrestling in Jello, not Jello Shots, which seems to be mixing alcohol with jello and then drinking it. I'm pretty much a beer gal myself; I can't even begin to imagine the hangover after 8-10 pints of Watermelon Jello and Malibu (which is what was called for in the one recipe I was actually able to stomach reading).

The house inspection people are actually required to do so to make sure that I'm not running a grow op or a meth lab, so it's not their fault. And really, I'm ok with it because I'm going to make them go down in the crawlspace and check on a couple of things for me. I'll insist it ain't "inspected" until they've been under the house. and at least they gave me almost two weeks' notice, so i've got time to hide the grow op and the meth lab. (this is a joke please do not arrest me okbye)

And now, some product reviews. Please remember that these opinions are mine which belong to me. You may differ -- and you don't even have to beg.

Clover Circular Needles: I only wish I could say that these needles suck, but that would be an insult to sucking. The joins feel like they've been secured with lumps of polyfilla and the cord is so stiff I could likely poke someone's eye out with it. These needles, alas, do not suck. They only wish they could be that good one day. I gave them to a friend so i guess I'm not a very good friend at all, am I? (and on the other hand, their dpns are just fine).

The Ratnoisemakers: After Mister Rat #3 decided not to go gentle into that good night (really, it wasn't so nice) I bought three of these for $25cdn. They cover 400 (unobstructed) square feet each. My house is way bigger than 1200 square feet (I like boasting, apparently) but I put one in the living room, one in my studio, and one in my daughter's bedroom. I heard a rat in the wall, I moved the one in her bedroom from one wall to the one closer to where the rats were getting in (why yes, I am a college graduate, thank you for noticing) and he ran like hell. I heard him in there twice more, I think. Not a noise for 10 days or more and not a single rat has appeared on this side of the wall since I plugged those puppies in. So far they seem to be working like a charm. Highly recommended.

Spin to Knit by Shannon Okey: I won this book in a contest and I have to say that at first I was delighted. (For everyone who likes Ms. Okey and is groaning and squishing their eyes closed at the ominous "at first", relax. I'm not going to dis her. Although her proof-reader was clearly a little hosed. I was quite startled.) It's a nice, easy read and there are a lot of good tips in it -- I'll believe I'll refer to it fairly often. It clearly says it's a knitter's guide and so I shouldn't have been disappointed that as a spinner I found it to be less in-depth than I would have liked, but yet again I'm looking the gift-horse in the mouth like the ungrateful wretch that I am. The second half of the book is patterns and I know that patterns are all a matter of taste, but I have to say that there is only one that I would possibly make, one that made me laugh and which I might make if the drugs kick in some time soon, and several that I'm pretty sure made the Baby Jesus cry. If you're a knitter playing with the idea of spinning it's a good resource, but although I'm pleased to have this book in my collection, I doubt that it's something I would have purchased.

I Am Charlotte Simmons by Tom Wolfe: I got this as a Christmas gift and I was thrilled, as I had really enjoyed The Bonfire of the Vanities and have read it a couple of times. This book is quite another story (if you'll pardon the pun). There comes a time in some writers' lives when they have written their best work and should really lay the pen down and not do it again. This point, alas, seems to have been reached some time before Mr. Wolfe decided to pen this unfortunate tome. Some time around page 400 (or was it 500? Or even 600? I mean get a grip, someone already wrote War and Peace) I realized that far from the IMNSHO brilliant social commentary of Bonfire, this slow-paced, embarrassing behemoth was more a paen to the author's unfortunate preoccupation with adolescent coochie. Good dose of racism and misogyny tossed in there too. At points I wondered if the author had ever actually met a woman and, if so, if she had maybe kicked him in the nuts or something. It would certainly explain a lot. Its one redeeming feature is that if the ratnoisemakers fail at any point, it's hefty enough to beat them to death with it, and I would feel no regret at disposing of it along with the rat.

I think housework makes me cranky. I'll go do a couple more hours before work, shall I? Yes, I thought that was a good plan.

final note: All typos, clich├ęs and overused phrases were on purpose this month. Really. With this post the contest is now officially over. Send me an email at bunniegirl at shaw dot ca by midnight on Monday, February 5 with a list of all of the horrible transgressions I've made this month, starting with my post on January 4, and I'll dig some fun stuff out of my stash for some prizes, k?

Comments:
It sounds to me that your fashion sense makes you a perfect candidate to be a U.S. Federal Government employee.
 
damn.it.to.hell....me without a business making megabuckaroos because I would so hire you...
Are they called 'Ratnoisemakers'?
Wendy, she's far too brilliant to be a U.S. Federal Government employee (and I know you know that) ;^)
 
ok, perhaps I should take some fashion lessons...I 'just now' noticed the ratnoisemaker link,jeeze. It would seem I would fit in with the U.S. Fed Gov employees.
 
well, I'm off to google what a "grow up" is...
 
Based on your description of your ensemble, I have determined that you should be a New Wave musician. Get yourself a keytar immediately!
 
Have you SEEN Tom Wolfe??? I tell you, any self-respecting woman would be positively compelled to kick him in the nuts.
 
Contest? Damn. Here I been thinking all this month, that you had come over to the dark side.
 
I hear FEMA is looking for a few good folks (for a change). But your one grawback would be the college education, sorry. You can hide your grow up at my place any time;)
 
I have to agree with you about the Clover circs. I got some size 3s back when I was trying to figure out how to knit socks on 2 needles. The join was no better than if they'd used duct tape. It was an awful experience, and I sold them on ebay for way more than they're worth ($2). Same with those damn Comfort Zone needles. I just wanted them because they were chartreuse, but they were like knitting on raw spaghetti.
 
Jello shots are with grain..or vodka. Please.

And you don't drink PINTS. Little condiment cups. Like a shot.

Obviously you did not attend an American institution of higher learning.
 
Late to the party here, but had to un-lurk b/c this post made me laugh out loud.

You're a classic R; don't change a thing.
 
These rat things really work? I always use poison and cage traps - traps are best. The secret is to find out why they are coming to you - have they made you an honorary Rat Queen, or is it a food trail?
Tom Wolfe never lived on the same planet as women. Even when he could stil write, his women were stereotypes
 
Jello shots ARE with grain alcohol or vodka ... but they're there to replace the usual water, so they are like eating regular jello ... until you try to stand up! Woah!!
 
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