Tuesday, January 02, 2007


New Year's Resolutions

1. Never answer the phone on New Year's Day. It may well be a co-worker calling, so sick she's actually puking, and you might have to go in to work, taking your child with you due to lack of childcare, and spend 5 hours in a very very hot room with a hyperactive six year old.

2. Never make lists of things I might want to blog about. I just found a list I made two years ago and apart from the duck and grape joke, the only item of interest was "They Don't Make Cars Worth Fucking In Any More". I have no idea what that was about, but I sure wish I'd written the post before I sobered up.

(and now for the real resolutions)

1. Knit more. Lots more. Even though I'll never be as prolific as Wendy or Ann, try to have at least one thing finished a week, even if it's only a hat or a washcloth.

6. Keep some of the knitting for myself. I need a hat. And a washcloth.

f. Do way less do-gooding. Except for Dulaan, because I'm going to try to make 50 things for them just to show that ol' MaryB that I can. I'm sort of falling apart. I may want to expend some of the do-gooding energy on myself.

9. Fall apart less.

pi. Walk 100 miles by April Fool's Day, just because Rachael said it was a good idea.

(). Get teeth fixed. Go to the doctor. Grow up and deal with stuff.

8. Get either a housekeeper or a divorce.

#. Get the house cleaned/organized to the point where I don't actually think I'd rather expire in the middle of the mess on the living room floor than call the paramedics and have people in my house.

11. Have people in my house.

&. Stick to knitting from stash. Unless I don't feel like it.

13. Travel more.

14. Use at least one cliché, overused phrase or misspelled word in every post, just to annoy Norma. It'll be fun. I'm just sayin'.

2204.6 Spin at least twice a week.

x. Reduce our debt by 25%.

That is all. Carry on.

Fucking hell. Your No. # (ha!) is something that I'm constantly worried about. What if one of us has a heart attack in the middle of the night and we have to call the paramedics and/or the state police? I wonder, if something happened to my husband, would I call 911 first, or would I try to hide some of the mess? I think it would be the latter. I'm just SAYIN'.
True story: One day, I went out by myself (!) and my husband took the kids to see his parents. I left first. When I got home, the front door was wide open. This never happens. We always shut and lock it. So I called my husband who didn't remember leaving the door open and told me to call the cops. A cop soon came (there isn't much crime in my township, so I didn't feel that bad about bothering him) and went inside to look around. He asked me if I wanted to come down to the station so I could make a report about the perps who ransacked my house. Imagine my dismay as I told him that the house always looked like that.
Here Here! #6, I'm so with that, I have 2 pair of socks and a washcloth out of all the knitting I did last year....this year I intend to try and balance the knits more.
I like them all. (your resolutions)
Great resolutions. I, on the other hand, don't need to make resolutions because my life is already perfect and I wouldn't change a thing *snort*
You're an original! We should all have a list as well defined as yours. Gosh, I just want to loose weight ... but doesn't everybody?
After reading all that, I need a nap. I can't even get a resolution list together.
you're going to finish one thing a week? Wheee! I'm going to watch!
I'm pretty sure a housekeeper is cheaper than a divorce, at least in the US.
I absolutely, wholeheartedly, totally, completely and fully agree you need to do more of your do-gooding to yourself. um, so to speak.

The walking 100 miles thingy? Ya. She suckered me in for that one too. Strangely, I'm looking forward to it. I think.

As for number one, in the spirit of being gooder to yourself, why not let a sleeve other sweater bit count as a finished object every now and then. Don't focus on the having stuff done part too much that it overrides the gooder to Rabbitch part and you end up the year with a jillion hats or washcloths but no sweater for you. Sure, you may need a hat, but you WANT a sweater. Give yourself time to do what you WANT. What YOU want. You. The one you need to be gooder to. m'kay?
#14, yup. That's gonna get Norma's goat, fer sure. . .
I've also come home to the police inside my home (neighbor kicked the door in to get to a phone) and was asked how much of the place he 'clearly tore up' - I had to watch about 6 officers rummage through piles of dirty laundry and try to stop their dogs from eating off plates of food in the kitchen. Talk about embarrassing.
I'm so on-board with 14 that I think I'll make that one of mine.

What do you mean, I already do that?
Number (). is one I should do... I just get caught up, you know? But I don't make resolutions. Really. Except to resolve not to resolve anything.
ack! Actually your "not real resolution" #1 would have to be mine as well! Except try two days with a hyperactive 7 year old...probably the same story really. Thank FSM we got a portable dvd player for xmas to help me out!!!

And I want to be like you for 1 on the "real" list...especially the washcloths!
Damn...I wish you'd written the post about the cars, too....tell me the duck and grape joke?
Oh I so get #. I've always thought I would drag myself out the front door to hide how I live.

In my family we have made it a goal in general. You know, like "wear clean underwear in case you are in an accident." We also say, "keep your house picked up in case the COPS film crew shows up."

None of us can keep that goal so we pretty much try to stay out of trouble.
Ahhhhhh, so nice to know I'm not the only messy person out there. I would much rather knit than clean house. Drives my folks nuts but they only come over once a year, so tough cookies. And all y'all walking the 100 miles are just bonkers. hehehe
Sigh....your blog is like crack for me......
You know, Christmas Day I did "11" without having done "#" first, and it was grand. So how 'bout this year I do "13" and visit just to show you?
Happy New Year ;-)
Yeah, how's about that duck and grape joke?
Oh, my freaking gawd. Number eight is also one of *my* resolutions!

See? Right here! Look! Read and believe:

Ms. Lori's New Year's Resolutions

#1 Get divorce, hire extremely hot male housekeeper, make hot housekeeper walk around wearing only a dollop of whipped cream on his wiener.

#2 Stop flipping eyelids inside out

#3 Eat more cow products
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who laments the loss of the great wide (sticky vinyl) muscle car backseat. Oh Nova, where did you go?
It is unfair of you to mock such counting when unsuspecting (gullible) and devoted (blindly following you around like a lost pup) fans will spend at least some of her (my) mental energy trying to sort the danged numbers and signs. You did that just to make me cry, didn't you?

I'm with you, by the way, on making stuffs for meself, too. Go ahead, finish a thingie a week, just make sure you wait many, many weeks before you start talking about sweaters. I'm in a rut.
I resolve to have you clean my house and reduce my debt by 25%, too. Wow, that was easy!
Duck and grape? Please? I don't make resolutions, but I am going to try and blog more, reading Rabbitch is major mind drug, so I don't know, maybe I can be at least someone else's mind little green leftovers in the back of the fridge.

Re: Your opinion of "the quality of cars these days".

New cars don't have big enough trunks.

Nice to see your smiling face again Janice!
Been a long time since The Only restaurant.

You haven't changed a bit 'cept maybe your hair's a little shorter and your shoes are...
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