Thursday, December 07, 2006


I Have The Map of Japan on My Ass

First picture taken on the 4th, by me. Who says you can't take a picture of your own ass?

Second picture, taken on the 7th by my husband.

Butt crack edited out for the sake of the dainty. And my sweet FSM, am I WHITE or what?

If you live in Japan, please feel free to point out where your home is.

I am still slightly swollen, can't lie back in the bath or lean back in a chair. A deep and comfortable sofa is my enemy. Rolling over to the left in bed is right out of the question.

I do believe I pranged myself up a bit.


Bah. It hurts. Send ibuprofen.

It looks kinda like Nova Scotia to me.
Damn, it hurts just looking at it....just ibuprofen? Seems to me your latest "girlcrush" could at least send you some of her goods. just saying.;)
OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Alcohol. Only thing for it. That's taking remembering Pearl Harbor Day a little too far, especially as you're all Canadian and stuff....
Ouch! Your poor ass!
poor you! funny to have the land of the rising sun on your big white moon.

or, is that China?
I've had some spectacular bruises in my day, and yours is right up there with them. Ow.

Hope it's better soon. And thanks for editing the ass crack. I'm not sure we need to know you THAT well. :)
Woman, if you didn't exist the blogmind would have to create you whole-cloth out of electrons...I really did almost snort my coffee all over the laptop this morning. From the bottom of my coffee cup, I thank you! I really need a good laugh to start the day. But(t?) seriously, get yerself some arnica gel and ever get the hubster to ever so delicately massage it into Japan a few times per day. It speeds up the healing considerably. You can usually find it at whole food stores. Oh. and now you can tell people to kiss yer Japanese ass. that'll confuse the hell out of them. mwah.
Hehe you make me wish I had taken a pic of my bruise. The day after Thanksgiving I fell down the steps out my front door. Stupid frost. They were wooden steps. I almost missed hitting them as I was airborn. My right buttcheek hit the very last one before I ending up sittting on the porch. We were leaving for vacation, so I had to suck it up and go. Holy crap my bruise was probably 3 times the size of yours. Turned so purple it was almost black. I managed to only hurt my ass as I landed and caught only muscle and fat. No bones thank God. When we got home I realized in my fall I had broken the step. I ain't a skinny thing, but I ain't a moose either. It was a freaking 2X10 board! Sigh. Well hope you feeling better soon. I know I am.
My ass-bruise from when I fell down my stairs ended up being reproduced in a major newspaper in Australia. It didn't really look like a country, though; at least, not a really distinctive-looking country. More like one of the nondescript blobby ones, like Spain or France.
I once had a bruise the size of Montana on my thigh from falling down the basement stairs to do laundry. Lesson: don't do laundry OR let spousal-unit carry it down. (Up doesn't seem to be such an issue.) Ouch, I say, OUCH!
Owch. I've got to hand it to you for posting a photo of your ass to your blog though.. I'm not sure any of us are going to try and top that.
Holy shite! Ibuprofen, hell; Demerol. Plus Scotch. Or something. I thought I'd experienced some spectacular bruises from getting bucked off horses or them stepping on me and such. ::looks again, winces in sympathy:: Definitely some arnica. And maybe something that numbs a little...uh, externally, I mean, as well as internally!
Ditto, MonicaPDX, on the bucked-off-a-horse thing. Hmm. I see Dilbert's head. Hair's in the upper right hand corner, nose points north, ear next to the buttcrack censor block... followin' me? Butt seriously, hope you heal soon!
OMG, am I the only sick and twisted one who sees the irony that you posted an assbruise in the shape of Japan on December 7th? (Pearl Harbor Day)
You win.
Winter: 1, Rabbitch: 0

Let's keep score!

Please show us updates when the pinata stick bashing people hit it. If candy comes out of it, show a video.
My butt hurts in sympathy!!
Dude, you could be charging good money for this! Don't be givin' it up for free!
(I'm almost tempted to Google "Japan-bruise booty fetish" to see if there is an actual market for such thing....but I;m afraid I might FIND one).
I can't WAIT to see what kind of google search "hits" you get now, woman! I'll be careful for a few days about what I'm drinking while I'm reading you, at least ...
My first thought is poor baby. That's a real pain in the ass. But knowing you, you may have come up with a new yarn color? I was gonna ask about the little black squares, but I didn't want to get too personal.
Have you considered touring local schools to help give those kids a geography education? It's probably a class they'll never forget...
OUCH! Well, i'm from the US, so I was never taught geography (except one day in 2nd grade we were taught the continents, but other than that NADA. I kid you not.)

And, to make matters worse, I grew up in NYC, so to me there was NY (well, really I only considered Manhattan to be NYC), and I could see NJ across the river. and then I believe there is some land mass which connects NY to California, with a pit stop along the way known as Chicago, I think.

(Although, I believe San Franciscans are even worse, since the newspapers there (I use the term newspapers very loosely), actually call SF The City. Yup, caps and all. NYers don't even do that!

Ouch! The only thing worse is to fall that hard, hurt just as bad, and not get a bruise to show for it. I haven't tried them personally, but my DD swears by those therma-care wraps.

So what are you going to name the new commemorative colorway?
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