Monday, September 18, 2006

 

Horseshoes and Hand Grenades


It would appear, dear friends, that I have completely lost my ability to count.

I have cast on two different items tonight, both in the same yarn, both with the newly-beloved cable cast-on method, both one stitch off. And, as we all know, in knitting (at least in most projects) "close" just isn't good enough.

WTF? Can the cable cast-on not be used with Elann.com's Peruvian Highland Wool? Am I doing something totally wrong? (And in case you're wondering, one item was one stitch over and one was one stitch under. Not only am I fucking up every single time, I'm doing it in new and interesting ways each time.) Am I perhaps drunk out of my mind and haven't noticed? (i usually notice stuff like that). Is this NEW MATH or something? I've always been scared of the New Math ... perhaps it's finally arrived Ch├ęz Lapin to wreak its vengeance.

Have all of my UFOs finally gotten together and generated enough psychic energy to make it impossible for me to start something new while they languish in wooly purgatory?

Have I lost my Knitting Mojo?

The last one is the one I fear the most. As I sit, poised to start the third chart of Eris, this would be a really really bad time for that to happen.

Really.

I am going to try, one last time, to cast on for an Irish Hiking Scarf for that horrible do-gooding bitch Norma's Red Scarf Project. And if I end up with 43 stitches again, I'm just going to sit in the bathtub and cuss until the Math Police come and take me away.

Speaking of cussing, here is the blog I just discovered (thanks Cari!) of a boy who cusses as much as I do. And who is way more talented than I am in the knitting department. Especially tonight.

Go visit; he's fun!

Comments:
That damn new math. It gets me everytime.
 
I'm having severe casting on issues as well.. I think I need to stop hanging around you.
 
New Math? I don't even like Old Math! I am a Math Atheist.
 
oooh...thanks for the link...he is fun!
 
Didn't you see the fine print on the label? It says: "Cable cast-ons are not guaranteed to work with this yarn." It's those Peruvian sheep. Can't count with a darn.
 
What IS it about the casting on? I swear, I miscount every SINGLE time. I love Liz's "math atheist" hahahahahahaha! Me too.
 
I feel the same apprehension in admitting this as I used to on Saturday morning when I waited in line at the confessional but - what the hell - I know only one cast on and I don't know what it is called. Cast-ons are the reason I wanted to knit for years but never did. I figured if you can't even follow the instructions at the start, chances are, you're a total idiot - so I put aside ideas of knitting. Now, I quietly slip out of view when people talk about their different cast-ons because - I'm supposed to know this stuff, huh? Is there a secret institution wherein knitters who have a reputation to protect can be flown by private jet to learn cast-on techniques? Can we get a grant for that? I can see us, now, on the nightly
 
ok, honey, repeat after me: "stitch markers are my friend." have you kept ANY of the ones you made? simple solution (since i see everyone just commiserated, and did not offer solutions, unlike me, who is kind, caring, and considerate (gag later, woman)). cast on 10 (use both hands to count darling, there are 10 fingers there). place a marker. cast on 10. place a marker. when you've reached your idea number, just start knitting, and remove the markers, replacing them as needed. voila! (ducks & runs)
 
I use the same method as dragonknitter, just above me in the comments, except that I put the marker every 20 stitches instead of every 10. And do you want to know why I am able to count all the way to 20? It's because I am a CPA. Yup. That's the A-number-one requirement to be a certified public accountant in the US: Must Be Able To Count To 20 Reliably.
 
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