Friday, August 18, 2006


The C Word

No, not that one! No, not even that one.

Or that one. "critchmibble" isn't even a word, you twit! (Now watch someone get here by Googling for that and I'll have to go look it up and find out that it's some sort of bizarre piece of clothing that all of the RenTards wear and I'll feel like an ass.)

No, the word of which I speak is Christmas.

"Ha!" you say. "Pfui!" you say, even (and don't deny it, I heard you). "Christmas is four months away," you announce with glee.

Yeah. Four months. And remember what happened last year? We all left our Christmas knitting until, like November 20th and then listened to some total wack job tell us we could get it all done. There were recordings, poems, promises, rantings, ravings -- I'm betting there was even a divorce or two just to get out of making a sweater. It all ended badly in a puddle of alcohol-soaked yarn and a quick shopping trip to the 7-11 on Christmas morning, hoping we could get all of the bags of Cheetos wrapped before everyone woke up.

Remember that? Do you?

Or um, was that just at my house?

Anyhow, I have long since given up the hope that I will one day be a good example, and have decided, instead, to let my life stand as a terrible warning. (I figure I've got a better chance at that.)

This year I am going to commit to THREE (no, four! um, five!) projects, and I am going to cast on for the first one NEXT WEEK. I'm going to make these socks for my father, a pair of slippers for my husband, and finish some slippers for my mother (the second one is almost done but the needle broke -- as soon as I figure out what the hell I was using I'll finish them up.)

That's it. Three (four! no, five!) knitting projects.

I urge you to follow my lead and make your lists and start your projects now, rather than waiting until November.

And you can bet I'm going to buy the bags of Cheetos the week before, this time.

I read that as "This year I am going to commit three... projects" instead of "commit to three project". I thought you'd had a moment of clarity - oh well, I can dream.

And don't forget, I need a new dishcloth! Size 10!
Kilt hose? With a cable? Are you MAD woman?

Oh. right. never mind. carry on with what you were doing. *cheeky grin*
I started my Christmas knitting months and months ago. February, to be exact. Of course, it was intended to be a birthday gift for March. I'll finish by Christmas, surely.
I was chuckling at critchmibble, but when I saw the c word I almost shrieked in horror...
Dude.. I have an unnatural love for those kilt hose. If they weren't toe up- I'd marry them. I'm pretty well settled in the idea that I don't like anyone enough to knit for them this year... except my kid and possibly my husband.
If you get in a pinch, call Yarn Harlot's toll-free Christmas Knitting Helpline, 877- SOS-KNIT. It's still active, last time I checked.
I was going to ask you, yesterday, if you knew how many knitting days there were until Christmas. I desisted, out of the goodness of my heart (and prudence), and you think about it on your own.

Nobody at my house values handknits, so I'm off the hook.
Why'd you have to go and bring up Christmas? That's just not nice. Not at all. Now I'm going to have to go have a bracingly stiff drink and hope I pass out before I start making lists.
RenTards.... snarkle snicker. That's FUNNY.

And screw you, by the way. I say that with all love. This year, I swear to god, I'm going to the MOMA museum store the week before Xmas and buying everyone one small highly interesting something. The higher price will justify the ease. I will LAUGH at you all! (No, really, I'll feel guilty for having knit nothing that isn't for me. But I'll do it anyway!)

I have surprisingly strong feelings about this. Huh.

A woman after my own heart! I started my Christmas knitting in July - 2 pairs of socks and I've lost count of the Mason Dixon ballband warshcloths. Seriously, people love those things, they are so incredibly easy, and let's not forget the MOST important aspect - CHEAP! I've invested $50 in SNC yarn and EVERYONE I know will have nice warshwrag gift sets this year - in holiday themes, no less! I WILL NOT FREAK OUT this year - seriously! ;}
Yet another reason that I am glad I keep a safe distance from my family - no holiday gift pressure!
nee nee nee I can't HEAR you... nee nee nee....
gifts? for OTHER PEOPLE? I"m supposed to knit for OTHER PEOPLE??? (shh, the socks for Kieth are different).

Besides, the last scarf I tried to kniit for someone else is still in time out ... it went there during the olympics.
Nobody gets anything knitted from me this year. Well, maybe, uh, damn you woman!
And that kilt hose pattern rocks! I started them last year but had to rip because I'm a knitting dumbass. Good luck with it all!
I decided to knit only for myself with an occasional surprise gift for a grandchild, but NObody else. Never mind that I sometimes change my mind by November. THIS time I MEAN it!
Shut up.
What a foul woman you are; using such disgusting words as that particular C word. Vulgar, I tell ya; absolutely VULGAR!
those are some nice socks! I may have to make a few pairs. Thanx!

Oh, and speaking as an ex rentard, I've never heard of that C word. You done good!
Too funny, I just blogged about that same topic today and it's been swirling in my brain for a few days now.

Anyways, Hello from a new visitor and a fellow Lower Mainland Knitter.
I have to say, I rarely do Christmas knitting--maybe a pair of socks or a hat, but nothing big or scary . . . I DO, however, start my shopping early. Like, yes, August or September. Hey, it spreads the bills out, relieves last-minute stress, gives me plenty of time to find just the right thing for each person, and lets me enjoy the month of December. Where's the bad in that?
I had so much fun laughing at all you people who KNITTED your damned C-word gifts last year that I'm going to do it again this year. I've got my wine, my mulling spices, my ingredients for hot toddies and a batch of popcorn and I am going to sit at the computer mocking you all. Bring on the holidaze!
I love that terrible warning quote from Catherine Aird. It comes in handy so so often. Probably too often.

I be making myself a scarf, and laughing along with Jen at all of you. More wine!
that "c" stands for AWWW CRAP! actually, i'm keeping the holiday knitting to a dull roar. with the wedding in 24 days, i've not had much time to think about it, other than a little planning. i have cast on for a pair of bootie socks for my daughter (little socklets, not socks for her backside!) in wildefoote, off white. she thinks the wild sock yarns are stupid, since you're going to be putting your feet in shoes. she has a problem with the sock/sandal thing, lol.

you go girl!
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