Friday, March 03, 2006

 

Badger Sighting


Yesterday was such a fun and exciting day. I can't tell you how much joy it brought to my heart to break my sleep up (and miss several hours of it) in order to go over town and get a bunch of nice ladies to smash my bosom flat between some plastic plates.

No, really. Fun.

The part where they covered me in freezing cold jelly (some places warm that, people!) and then ran a camerathingie over me was even more festive.

The conclusion: There is nothing wrong with the right ... um ... "girl". There is nothing wrong with my lymph nodes. There are no lumps, bumps, splots or blots hiding over, under or beside my badger.

The badger itself, however, is huge. It has more than quadrupled in size since my biopsy two years ago. At that point it was 3.5cm and it is now over 15. Centimetres. Not millimetres. That's six inches for those folks still slavishly devoted to Imperial measurements.

Just a little large for convenient transportation purposes, especially when lodged somewhere that isn't really equipped with room for that sort of thingie.

They offered me another biopsy but I declined. Although it was, again, a great thrill to have a bunch of strangers poke me with little needles and then ram a really BIG needle into me (thereby causing me to swell in all sorts of interesting ways and have to wear an icepack in my bra for the rest of the day), no. Just no. There's only so much joy a girl can take, and it wouldn't tell us anything that we don't already know; to wit: that puppy has to come out.

I see the surgeon on the 13th and we should have a better idea of what's happening at that time. Although I'm in no health-type danger, the fact that it's increasing so quickly should bump me fairly close to the top of the surgery list; I would think I'll be done before the end of May and possibly even in April FSM willing.

My apologies to those of you who have been coveting my stash. Looks like I'm going to live long enough to spin and/or knit it all after all. However there is good news for those who are coveting my stitch markers. I'm going to have time to make more, and should be putting some up for sale by the end of next week, if anyone's interested.

Or, you know, even if they're not. And such.

Comments:
geez... you get to do All the fun stuff...

I'll be looking out for that sale!
 
Sounds like a lot of fun to be had by all. Will there be pictures? Um, forget I asked that.

Will be selling via ebay or on your site, either way, count me in! I love stitch markers. You should try row markers to using those little lobster claw dealies. Those would sell like hotcakes. Um, lobster, hotcakes. Must be lunch!
 
apparently, i can't type worth a shit when i'm hungry. typos everywhere!
 
Mammogram machines were invented by men who liked waffles waaaaaaaaay too much. When I had mine I was stunned, stunned I say, at how flat they can make a boob. I had no idea that was even possible. Glad it's going to be done soon, and you'll be up and about in time for bikini season. Not that we'll be wearing them - but it would be a sad thing to miss watching them now wouldn't it!? :-)
 
I have yet to get a mammogram, but I'm certainly not looking forward to it. I have, however, had the unique pleasure of having a ginormous needle plunged into my boobage. The screaming could be heard throughout the doctor's office (I was 12).

By the way...I had broccoli for dinner last night. ;)
 
I probably shouldn't have read this post. I've been postponing (read that avoiding) my first mammogram for the past 2 years and now I'm thinking that it can wait another 2. Glad to hear that it's all ok though.
 
Six Imperial Inches...that's a badass-breast-badger. Probably an angry badger after all the squishing and what. I'll leave some parmesian out for FSM in hopes of a speedy date.
 
Six inches! Yikes. Benign or not, it should go.

Yum, broccoli. I think I'll have that w/hollandaise sauce for dinner.

And, scary as your story is, I'm still not getting a mammogram.
 
Damn. Maybe you go into business growing surrogate breasts for the less-endowed.
 
I'm scheduled for my first mammogram in 2 1/2 weeks. Um...I'm a wee bit nervous... Heh.
 
I have always thought there should be retaliatory, um, I mean, preventative testiclegrams. With the corners of the plates and all.

Holy FSM, I wouldn't even have room for half your badger.
 
De-lurking here. I have a my yearly date with the smashing plastic plates later next month- oh, joy!. Good luck on the 13th. Will be thinking of you and hoping all turns out well.

I'm interested in buying your stitch markers- my plastic ones are making me cringe...they fly off my needles like lemmings and lose themselves instantly.
 
Wow! 15 cm? Some women don't have entire breasts as large as that. I'm suprised you don't walk with a distinct list to one side. Sooooo glad to hear it's not cancer. I know how scary even thinking of the possiblity can be. I had a bleeding lump (and the duct it was in) removed several years ago. The pre-diagnosis worry was far worse than the surgery itself. Since then it has been yearly mammograms for me. They don't even have to drag me there.
 
I had an enforced break from reading your blog (no internet, etc), and now I can't recall what FSM stands for, nor when you switched from dog to that.

signed,
the memoryless one, charli
charlizeen@yahoo.com
 
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