Thursday, February 09, 2006


Change of Plans

No, no, I'm not trying to weasel out of the Olympics. I've got my yarn, I know where the pattern is, the kick-ass shawl pin is ready to pin the kick-ass shawl upon its completion and I'm even pretty sure that the needle I need is over there (waving vaguely to the left).

I'm casting on tomorrow, come hell or high water.

The change of plans is that the cold ... you know the cold I don't have? That one? Yes, well, the cold has moved into my throat. You see, I can't swallow. Hardly at all. (I find this somewhat mystifying, seeing I don't have a cold. Not one little bit. But these things happen.)

And as I sit here happily drooling at my desk, I send a plea to you, dear fellow Drunken Lack ... um, Lace Knitters, please, for the first couple of days would you be kind enough to get likkered up on my behalf?

I'll be knitting (and possibly even cheering very quietly -- I can still talk, much to the dismay of many) however I would think it will be Saturday or even Sunday before I can face so much as a sip of anything not entirely necessary to keep my body from drying up and blowing away.

Possibly even Tuesday.

(not. sick. at. all.)

(shut up)

Oooogggg - and also Yuck!! Ooooggg: permission to drink with gay abdomen, I mean abandon. Yuck: sore throat. You did get a strip, I mean Strep swab, right??
Shouldn't drink before posting, I guess....
Doesn't alcohol kill germs? Gosh, that's the information I've been operating on for years. In fact, I think I feel a germ now...
Aren't you worried that on top of this cold you don't have that your livers are going to grow back if you don't at least TRY to drink?

I think we all agree that it's the last thing you need right now. Try to drink just a little something. Maybe a sip of merlot? One sip?
I'm not knitting in the olympics (too much else going on), so I'll volunteer to do your drinking for the first day or two.

Although vodka should kill most things. Try gargling with it!
Hmm, I think you need a hot toddy. A few sips and you won't even know your throat hurts.
Two words for you, my darling Rabbitch:

IV Drip. :)

I'm sure there's a quack somewhere willing to open a vein and slide some Jack right in...

(and you know I'm totally kidding about this.)

But seriously, soak some cloths in whiskey and lay them over your eyes. Maybe you can get drunk by osmosis?
I've also got two words for you dear: Ny Quil.
It's 50 proof... you can get likkered up and still kill those non-existent germs, all in one swell foop. Er, fell swell. (giggle) Sell Fwoop? *hic*
Let the drinking - er, Games - Begin!!
I missed the sign-up deadline because I procrastinate and suck. I think that cold is going around; I felt a strange sneeze earlier today, and my eyes feel soupy.
I was going to celebrate my last night free of knitting olympics terror with a nice, modest glass of organic red wine but I guess - just for you - I could polish the bottom of the bottle. I just love the influence you are having on me!
I will happily take up the mantle of "relief drinker." I hope your non-existent cold goes away soon!
My lungs and I empathize. I have just enough room in my throat to let antibiotics and a wee bit of merlot (because, you know, a lot of merlot and the antibiotics, they don't mix so well) past.

I will be spinning in the corner tonight in preparation for the Gauge Hell event.
You won't be the only one casting on somewhat sober. Rock on. Cawf cawf. And all that.
I second the strep strip thing - you have a kid, you have been exposed. Kids are like petri dishes, damnit. Adorable little petri dishes . . .
I highly recommend scotch. It has scientifically been shown to have the most medicinal properties of all alcohols out there, and I've had it work on many occasions. The best way to apply it is to make some nice hot tea (I usually use Sleepy Time Tea), add some honey and a shot of scotch (something smoky). The honey and scotch taste wonderful together. :)
Strep test, certainly. Please. It's not fun left to its own devices. I picked up a new bottle of wine this evening just coz I liked the name. It's called Le Freak. Tomorrow I'll be gettin' boozed up with the rest of the Toronto contingent, but Saturday night, my dove, I shall open Le Freak in your name.
It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it. The first glass is for you, m'dear.
You must be tested for strep. Or hell, you probably know, just look for that telltale chicken fat hanging all over your tonsils. Slippery Elm tea, or one made by Traditional Medicinals called Throat Coat, which contains slippery elm. It will numb the pain long enough for you to eat the following, which I used once to cure strep: very very hot thai noodles, pad thai or any other variety you can get delivered, and if you can gag it in, the side of kim chee. Don't think of it as food princess picky pants, think of it as medicine. It will kill anything. But do find out whether you have strep before I come up there next weekend, and feel better soon, m'kay?
You could always try a hot toddy. They always feel good going down the throat even when you are sick. Which we know you aren't, but why not try anyways. Me, myself, I could go for some Jose Cuervo. Chilled, with salt and lemons. Did I mention he is not only a good friend of mine, he's damn near the best one I have?
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