Wednesday, February 22, 2006

 

The Breast Badger


A little clarification here -- the badger has undergone a core biopsy and is completely benign. It's just big and lumpy and intermittently painful.

There is info here and here. But be warned, there is a gory photograph.

I've always thought my breasticles were too big. There are those who disagree but they're mostly boys and I'm pretty much done with those by now anyhow. This way I get the much-wished-for reduction paid for by the Medical Services Plan instead of having to fork out $6k for cosmetic surgery.

I've had the badger since it was a tiny tadpole (yes, tadpoles grow into badgers - they're both fish. Shut up.) We've lived in relative harmony for 31 years now, it's just gotten a LOT bigger quite suddenly and it needs to be removed.

I'm more likely to get sick from the anaesthetic (and I will, I guarantee it) than from anything else to do with this silliness, and certainly more likely to become defunct from overactive lace-knitting.

So relax. Go have a beer. And then knit some lace.

Comments:
Phew! But the offer of spoilage is still on the table.
 
Kisses to my favorite asslacemaker. I am glad it's getting sorted, and hope it will all be tidied up as quickly as possible.

Maybe while they're doing the reconstruction bit they could also give you a fun tattoo or something? I would be pleased to provide a sheep drawing.
 
Oh, yes, get a tattoo! A Franklin-designed tattoo!

You will no doubt enjoy the post-operative drugs!
 
Ask if they can do a "two for one" while they're at it. Add a third hand, cloning, whatever you like.

The anaesthetic always makes me sick and it takes me 2-3 days to shake it. Don't take knitting or anything else to do for the first few days. Unless you come out of the fog really fast (I don't. See above.) choose things that require little brain power for the first few days. Mostly I looked at magazines and stared at the pictures.

I expect to see you up and swearing soon.
 
I'm glad it's not as scary as it could be. Best wishes for a speedy recovery!
 
Well, eeewwwwwwwww. However, I'm kind of looking forward to posts by a Rabbitch on painkillers. Drunken asslace posts will be nothing to it.
 
Thanks for the clarification.

Badgers are rather notoriously fierce. Are they anticipating needing Animal Control on hand during the surgery?
 
Wow does that suck. I mean, the thing about having surgery. The freebie reduction and the fact that it is benign are good news. Good luck and heal fast, I will miss your drunken bucket o' ass lace knitting while you are away.
 
Woah...you had me worried there for a minute. Glad I am catching up on your posts and didn't have to wait to find out your badger is benign. Still sucks to need surgery though but reduced breastacles a plus.

Go on with the lace! You can make it!
 
Do what the nice doctors tell you, comb your hair before going out in public, and always carry a clean hankie.

Oh yes, and heal quickly.
 
Jeezus, I get behind a lousy week on my reading and you're having surgery? Dude, be well.
 
Yeeks! Let us know if you need anything. A BADGER, that's a lotta.

I had some pre-cancerous ones out - they had weird cell changes going on, apparently - when my older son was little. I was awake for both surgeries, as they were just lumpectomies. The surgeon got one out and cut it open and said "Ew! What's that?!". Just lovely. :P
 
:whew: That is all.
 
Glad that things are (no pun intended) perking up. Okay, maybe that was intentional. But I'll plead the fifth.

I also get sick from the anesthesia...nearly didn't make it back the last two times...and one was for impacted wisdom tooth removal!!! Good luck, let us know when you're going to have the badger extricated, and we'll all knit and send soothing thoughts your way.
 
Please throw up all over the anaesthesiologist, and tell him I sent you.

It's always a him. Don't ask.

He'll apologise, but he won't mean it, and he'll talk about you for the next twenty years, so make sure you give him some good vocabulary to share with his buddies.

Meanwhile, bisoux. And hugs. And all good wishes for fabbo reconstruction and tattoos you won't regret later. Or if you do regret them, it will be the good kind of regret.
 
Surgery sucks ass. Your lace is great. Best wishes for a speedy recovery, hope you can still knit with the girls in bandages...
 
Oh, girl, am sooo glad it is benign. and be sure to ask them NOT to use sodium pentothal on you (for anaesthesia). most of the others typically used are not so ick-making... heh, the tattoo could be fun...
 
I'm in with everyone about the tattoo. Absoultely! Glad to hear the word "benign". Wishing you an easy recovery.
 
Glad to hear things went alright, well, except for getting sick from the knock out drugs.
 
Did you notice, by any chance, that in the slide of the breast badger cells on the site you linked to, that there appeared to be a cave painting? I do so hope that your breast badger is at least this talented!
[IMG]http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c139/TheMadPatter/breastweaselcavepainting.jpg[/IMG]

But of course, yours will surely be eveen more creative, mai non?(I'm not sure I did the right coding, or if it will accept it, so here is a maybe more directer one. Special grammar: gratis... http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c139/TheMadPatter/breastweaselcavepainting.jpg
 
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