Thursday, December 29, 2005


Nakedness, Arson and Cabling, Oh My!

Here I am on day one of my Plan In Which I Aim To Get Things Right Sorted Out (the astute will note that this is about an hour after my announcement that I am about to kick life's ass. This is known as foreshadowing. I've used it before, pay attention: this will be on the final.) and already The Christmas Wreaths are down, the tree is no more, and the lights are nestled snugly in their beds. Or in a cardboard box, whatever.

The car is loaded up with Tons of Crap (tm) to go to the dump tomorrow morning and, um, the house is still a complete disaster. Nevermind.

Speaking of complete disasters, working on xmass day was one of the more "interesting" days I have ever worked. You see, someone decided it would be amusing to set a couple of fires. In a hospital. On Christmas day.

Yes. Yes, I thought so too. Thank you for mentioning it.

Anyhow, all is well (or will be) and nobody got hurt, but the day was so insane that it took me until today to remember that on my way in to work that morning I met a man walking down the street. Downtown. In his boxer shorts.

Nothing else; no socks or shoes or shirt or a hankie or anything. Just wet boxer shorts (it was raining). It's gotta be a heck of a day at work to make me forget something like that for three days.

And that had to be one hell of a party.

Speaking of lousy Christmases (christmae?), has anyone noticed that Patti is having a "worst (or best) present ever" contest over on her blog? Hurry on over and join in. Don't try to top me on the worst present, though, unless you, like, got crabs for your birthday or something (ooh! I got 12 stitches on mine once, but that wasn't really a present and I'm digressing here). I've already posted about receiving a used bathrobe one year when I couldn't fly home for Christmas. This year I got something even better! My mother has written her memoirs, had them printed out, put them in a book and handed them to me, saying "you must tell me what you think of them." My mother is a good writer, don't get me wrong here, but um ... the family she lived in and the family I grew up in are completely different animals. I doubt she'll be mentioning the alcoholism, selfishness, inappropriate sexuality and constant emotional abuse.

But maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised.

And wasn't this a knit blog, or at least partially so? I apologize; this season brings out the worst in me.

Back to playing with string.

One of the best presents ever came from my brother. My brother with whom I didn't exchange gifts. He's invited me to attend a cabling workshop in January with him, to learn how to make kilt socks.

I can't think of much that would make me happier. Well, that is, unless his cables are better than mine ...


I sometimes believe that my brother and I were raised by wolves. That's great that your brother wants to go to a knitting class with you!!! That would be such fun.
You know, dear Rabbitch, there's nobody else who posts quite the kind of stuff you do, bless you.

I've heard of (and done) a post-party walk-of-shame the next morning, but going home in nothing but wet boxer shorts...that wins the prize.
I think your mother's memoirs might be fascinating. Even if she doesn't (or chooses not to) remember things the way you do, won't it be interesting to see how she does remember events? How she'll justify those things (if that's what she chooses to do)?

I realize that I'm talking out my ass, really - my family's problems were (are) of a whole different flavor - but I still think reading my mother's memoirs would be so interesting.
My own mother's memoirs would consist of a very tight, angry smile, and something about not DWELLING on things, a cardinal sin, apparently.

Don't be thinking you can just blithely mention the 12 stitches and then just walk away, either.
ExQUEEZE fucking me? YOU are going to cable with your brother after I posted an image of you with a cable needle through your nose in The Great Cabling Bitch Smackdown of 2005?

I demand an apology.
I win - the ONLY THING I got for Christmas was an alarm clock. And my roommate offered to clean out my room. That's the extent of my Christmas excitement for this year.

Oh wait - boyfriend went out and bought me a ball winder too, so he can't be all that bad...
oh man, i am so very jealous of you and your bro. as for moms and their memoirs, my mom thought the same thing a few years ago, and her story is definitely from someone else's lifetime. I resisted the urge to rewrite them and hand them back with corrections... I have to apologize for being lame and neglecting you, I do have a box to send you, just keep neglecting to send it. i suck, i know, but I do it so well... *mwah* next week, I promise!

The brother doesn't mean to wreak havoc within my sister's blog...I just thought that the cabling workshop could be fun to do together. I can knit/purl/slip..that's it so far..and I can also make messes with unknown and as yet unnamed stitches...many tension issues. When I actually finish something, I will send either the product or a pic for possbile posting. About 2 weeks until that happens....

It was suggested that I create my own blog..possibly named "knit 1, hurl 2"..nah. I enjoy this one too much and the comments from folk here.

the brother
Wouldja like a rubber plant? Used..?
LOL. I love your comment about your mother's memoir. Too funny.
Are you my long lost sister?
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