Wednesday, December 21, 2005

 

Holy Snapping Kwanzaayul, Batman!


Good grief, with all the fuss going on around here, I have no idea what I can even call this holiday any more.

Is it any wonder that my knitting is equally confused?

I think not. I blame it on all of the politically-correct people who can't just suck it up and call it Christmas. Yes, you. You there, chewing on a candy cane and calling it a "Festivus Peppermint-Flavoured Walking-Stick-Shaped Confection". You. It's all your fault.

It certainly has nothing to do with my complete lack of organization and total inability to understand time; both the time of the day AND the time of the year. I am a dual-diagnosis temporally-impaired 'tard.

I prefer to be referred to as "special".

I have finished the earrings for my mother and will post a pic tomorrow. They're gorgeous. She will tell me how much she loves them. Then she'll tell me again an hour later. Then once more.

By this point I will know that she will wear them once, say they're "too heavy" and give them back to me for my birthday.

I just hope she gives me the gift box back too, it's sweet.

We will not discuss the knitting. It would be vulgar to do so.

Oh yes, and I think I broke my toe tonight. It's all swollen and the nail is black and it sort of hurts to walk on.

Nevermind.

Comments:
Oh glory..what did you hit that toe on....??
 
Yep, broke it, you did.

I know, because I did the same thing in August.

Happy Solstice!
 
Yikes! Poor rabbitch. Happy Christmakkahza!
 
Post a picture of your toe. You can just use one of the other pictures of your fucked up feet. Because this isn't the first time, is it?

Charming Chaunkwanzmas
 
Ouch...
 
Of course you broke your toe...this is you after all.

Ice and elevation, my friend. And chocolate helps, too.
 
dude, you can't have broken your toe, because I have broken nothing recently, and I always best you in this contest.
 
I'm getting tired of hearing people on TV call it Christmakah. *gah*

Is a broken toe a good enough excuse to make other people do things for you while you try to get your Xmas knitting completed?
 
You're poor toe. Have a drinkie-poo.

The Christmas thing gets me going to. My personal favourite is the "holiday tree". Please. You're not fooling anybody. If you want a Christmas tree, just put one up. There are no Channukah trees, there are no Kwanzaa trees, you're not fooling anyone. If you're a Christian and you're paying for it and you're putting it on you're own property that you own (even if it's commercial) then get a big honking green symbol of the Christian holiday and whack it up there with a million lights on it and don't let anyone stop you. No-one could possibly be injured by someone else using their own funds to celebrate their own religion on their own property.
(Open disclaimer: Naturally, the above rant does not apply to government money or spaces. End disclaimer)

Merry Christmas.
 
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