Monday, September 19, 2005



If one has had one's phone installed for their convenience and not for that of others, and if one pays extra every month to maintain an unlisted number so not to be called by assmonkeys trying to sell you services you don't want ... should one not expect to be left alone by said assmonkeys?

These guys don't think so. Automated advertising machines tying up my phone ... can't even hang up on the damned thing! (which is so convenient when one has a small child and would like to be able to access emergency services if need be). I'm sort of hoping their trucks all spontaneously combust this evening (with nobody inside, of course. We've had enough of the deading for a while.)

I feel your pain!

We used to get recorded telemarketing calls from a septic system cleaner.

We don't have one (city sewer here).
When a telemarketer calls, try to sell them something. "Oh, I'm so glad you called! Listen...I've got this futon I don't need anymore...I'm willing to sell it at a great price. What do you mean you don't need a futon? Oh, well how about gravy? Everyone loves gravy! I've got six cans of gravy with your name on them!" And so on.

Oh, by the tag. You're it.
If a telemarketer calls you ask them to take you off their list. By law they have to take you off and never call you again.

However when one has an unlisted number ones number should not be available to telemarketers.
They probably got your number because you bought something with credit, or gave something to a charity.

I pay cash for almost everything, and add myself only to email newsletters, and no one has found me in nearly five years.
Hi Rab, it's lucy from anns blog. I LOVE jerry seinfelds solution. Tell them "I can't talk right now give me your home number and I will call you back later." ( and when they reply- Oh i don't want to be called at home) " Now you know How i feel!"
Apparently what they REALLY hate is for you to leave your phone off the hook (with them on the other end) and just walk away. That way it ties up their line and they can't phone anyone else. Hanging up at their end does them no good as the connection is still there as long as you don't hang up.
Before I retired, I was a switchboard operator and receptionist and got those calls all the time. My solution was thus:

Me: Are you in a position to authorize our consultation fees?

Telemarketer: Fees? What fees?

Me: Since this is an unsolicited call, and you are requesting information about our needs for toner/office supplies/etc., we will charge consultation fees. Our fees start at $500 per hour. To whom should we address our billing?

Telemarketer: (if they didn't hang up immediately) Never mind!

Worked every time, and provided a little fun for me. My boss overheard me once doing that and applauded my performance.

Yes, I can be a bitch too. Sweet, little ol' grandmotherly type that I am!
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