Friday, August 26, 2005


The Knittens

Excuse me? Does anyone recall WHAT exactly the fuck I was thinking when I decided to get THREE knittens (thank you Rachael for the term)?

They're lovely, and much less trouble and way less wild than I had thought they would be, but it's still like having three small slightly-retarded husbands.

Knitten: "Woman! Woman, I have needs and they are not being met!"

Me: "That's nice, honey, but I'm sort of busy. See, I'm doing STUFF. You'll just have to wait."

Knitten: "Woman! You are not listening! My needs! Bring me gravy and something to kill!"

Me: "Look, you're a cat. I am a human. I'm in charge and you don't get gravy 12 times a day and you can just find your own damned straws and socks to kill."

Knitten: "Woman! You are not LISTENING! I have NEEDS and ohfuckohfuckohfuck ijustfellinthetoilet A LITTLE HELP HERE?!"

Dude. I have just no clue how this happened.

This is why we: A) keep the bathroom doors shut and B) in the one bathroom they're allowed in, we keep the lid down. Why are they not allowed in the bathrooms? One particularly likes to shred toilet paper.... In the one bathroom they are allowed in, we have a wooden tower that holds the paper, including a lid for the rool in use!
small slightly retarded husbands...oh, my sides, they hurt...

I think maybe I've held my husband's head over a toilet once, but I'm pretty sure he's never fallen in.

On purpose, anyway.
Oh, I miss our kittens (LOVE the "knittens" -- it's perfect)! We fostered 6 (found in our garage), plus mom and big sister, and they were a hoot! We kept two, and they're still the life of the party, two years later. One did fall in the toilet, but he was over a year old at the time. (There's a pic of him on my blog, curled up inside my bra).

They can be so frustrating, but just remember how cute they are when they're asleep. That's what saved most of their lives. I'd lose all anger because they'd curl up on my shoulder while I watched TV and go to sleep.

Gravy, huh? Never thought of that. Ours got turkey baby food (just turkey) mixed with baby cereal, then canned "holistic" (no by-products) food. They would have been very demanding if I'd served gravy!
You were blinded by the golden fleece.
I would imagine it is the same insanity that pushes one to purchase enough yarn for 3 identical sweaters when one has not yet tested either the pattern or the yarn. Always, always, start with just ONE.
Just wait - it will get better, like when you are knitting a baby blanket for someone and they decided that they need the attention and try to steal the wool.

Or there is always the 3am wake up call because one of the other cats has used the litter and this one wants clean litter with nothing in it, so the "dear" sits on your chest and crying til you get up.
Is this different from children? Someone else's, of course.
Well, *I* certainly thought you had lost your mind, but I didn't want to say anything.
LMAO! Poor knitten!! I hope the toilet had been freshly flushed ... I mean BEFORE the kitty fell in, not while it was bathing.
Woman, are you ever NOT taking care of helpless things? (a husband, a child, 3 knittens)
Oh help! I'm just getting caught up on your blog after my trip (and between tackling the mounting piles of school work), and I LAUGHED OUT LOUD about the kittens as slightly retarted husbands. Oh! I laughed out loud again as I typed it. You're cracking me up.
Thanks! Last period was a downer, and you've lifted my spirits. Oh, and I have three dogs who haven't caught on that they are no longer puppies, but have each developed a unique neurosis. And just like crazycatladymel said, if they never curled up cutely and slept from time to time, they'd be done for.
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