Friday, August 12, 2005


The Evil Hotness

Take large pot, originally used for making pasta or cooking corn. Fill with hot water, a cup of vinegar and some dishsoap:

Do not think about the fact that total strangers will be looking at this on the internet. Do not clean your stove. It's just fine.

Add a lot of wool to the pot.

Leave it for about an hour and then turn the heat up. Tell your daughter not to go near it, because it's hot and she could get hurt. Watch her race down the hall screaming "Run away from the evil hotness!"

Haul out the previously-pictured tasteful coffee mug and mix up some blue easter-egg dye.

Take about 2/3 of the hot, wet wool out of the pot and put it in a large bowl. Take out about 2/3 of the hot, wet water, also.

Add the blue dye to the wool.

Mix up a batch of red dye, put back about another 1/3 of the wool and some water, pour the red dye on the wool.

Become very frightened that you might be making more ClownBarf and resolve not to send the wool to your friend if that's what it turns out to look like because, after all, her fiancée is a trained pugilist and might object to such a gift.

Mix up some purple dye, put in the last 1/3 of the wool and some more water. Pour the purple dye over the wool.

Top it up a bit and cook it for an hour or so.

That whole "turn off the heat and leave it overnight" thingie worked so well on Juno's wool, I think I'm going to do the same with this. Anyone see through my pretense of being innovative to the fact that I'm tired and lazy and am just going to go to bed?

Yeah, I thought so.

More pix tomorrow.

Not lazy at all. Why do today what you can put off till, next week. It doesn't look like it will be clown barf. Maybe Purple People Eater barf?
As long as you don't card anything sparkly into it, I think you're probably safe from Ponyland...

"The Evil Hotness..." was she talking about you or the stockpot? Because, you know, I've been the Mommy of Meanness before...(god I love it when kids say things like that)
What I want to know is why you are using my mug to make your clown barf. I had to drink my beer straight from the can this morning and it's all your fault.
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