Monday, July 18, 2005


How To Have Fun on a Hot Summer's Day

First, take one tub of warm water. Add a bunch of cheap-assed dishwashing soap, thusly.

Secondly, boil some water, so the water in the tub is really hot.

Next, open up a can of whup-ass. Or, if you are a little short on the whup-ass this week, a large black plastic can of sheep-ass, mixed with a little fleece.

Then, entice a small person who doesn't much like sheep shit but who hates being left out, to assist you in this endeavour.

Get her to keep adding the fleece to the water until you get this:

Switch it back and forth between two bins of very hot water, making sure not to agitate it. One way to agitate fleece is to start talking about politics. Mention it at your peril.

Keep transferring it from one tub to the other, changing the water between each transfer, until it changes nationality or until it stops leaking lanolin all over the place.

Haul it all out of the water, admiring it profusely and patting yourself on the back the whole time.

Again, in the time-honoured tradition of Kathy Lee, encourage your under-aged labourer to complete the task for you. Hope that the shackles are not visible in the picture.

Put all of the washed fleece into a dry tub and take provocative pictures of it. Hope you are not arrested for pornography.

Fake up some bizarre drying-rack dealie out of part of a little clothes-horse you found in the storage room.

Take a close-up, because you are a complete and utter fibergeek.


Wow, you are actually washing it. I can't wait to see what you do with it. My husband got me an early birthday present - a spinning wheel. I'll be watching you very, very closely.

Yup, I'm officially a fiber stalker.
Oh, I'm so jealous! You got such a great result from your hard work. Looking forward to seeing it spun! Nice use of small, child, btw. What a cutie!
She's adorable!!
You know, in that last picture your Little One does look a bit like a still from a commercial featuring Sally Struthers, thus:

"Little Tallullah is forced to wash filthy sheep fleece 11 hours every day for an iInternational knitting cartel and makes only a penny a week."

I think it needs a caption like, "My Mommy has a problem. Can you help us?"

Although I suspect one day she will be telling people, over the tops of her needles, that she got started as a mere child and can't imagine a life without yarn.
My god woman, I salute you and your freshly lanolin softened hands.

I guess I can't get away with saying I don't have the room to wash a fleece anymore, can I?

Fluffy, sheepy goodness indeed.
Agitate politics ... (snicker snort)

Truly beautiful child - loved Franklin's Sally Struthers routine -
I can always count on your for some great pics and a few laughs. I can't wait to see what other naughty pictures you take with your fluffy stuff.
I dance with you.
oorah! woolie goodness! and guess what, y'all embarassed me into getting out my wheel, and some singles, and i plied tonight! woohoo. it felt good, even when my brake band broke and i had to replace it mid ply. ah well, those are the breaks (no comment, people). i'll show ya what i did tomorrow, it's getting too late for me to blog
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