Sunday, April 03, 2005


That's All, Folks

Today we bring you the very last interview I'm going to answer (I think). If I owe anyone answers, please drop me a line; I'm elderly and my mind is going, you see.

Today's questions are graciously posed by Cari over at Dogs Steal Yarn. She has beautiful dogs, however she asks a mean question.

1. If Elvis isn’t dead, what’s he been up to lately?

He's in my storage room. Knitting dishcloths. You don't think I do all of those myself, do you?

2. What was your biggest knitting disaster?

I have had a few things that have turned out not quite the way I expected, such as the microcephalic rabbit. There was also a vintage sweater pattern that I decided to make in a far smaller yarn that what was called for by the pattern, but knit the largest size, hoping that this would somehow make a size 18 sweater be a size 14 or 16 when all was said and done.

I got part-way through and realized that it'll MAYBE be a size ten, which I haven't been since I WAS ten, and I'm making it in such cheap yarn that I don't think I can bear to finish it. Learned now to make a nice set-in pocket thingie, but I'm pretty sure that bad boy is going to the frog pond.

I think the only thing that can be termed a complete disaster (apart from the alpaca shawl that my mother stuffed in a drawer and which I'm pretty sure she uses to clean toilets every now and again) was the first hat I made for my husband. I had no clue, I just adapted four different patterns and plunged in. I made a beautiful acrylic pancake. He wore it, lovingly, for months until my daughter wisely pitched it over the side of the crib on a walk one day.

That's his story, anyhow. I think he wisely put it in the bin.

3. What, exactly, is a rabbitch? Do they make good pets?

I'm an internet junkie (you don't say!) and I've been around in many rabbitly incarnations for oh, nine years or so now. Usenet, IRC, all of those fun things. I was being particularly vile one day for some reason and my man in Japan wisely observed that I was more of a Rabbitch than a Bunnie.

The name stuck.

And we make pretty good pets, but we're nearly impossible to housetrain. And we bite.

4. I love the chicken hat. I really do. I plan to knit one for my nephew-to-be... But it does bear asking... What kind of sick mind came up with it in the first place? Imagine the scenario that led to the birth of that idea and describe it.

Well, I think the best way to explain it would be to note that Sarah, the brilliant inventor of this hat, seems to spend quite a lot of time contemplating her vagina. Based on empirical evidence, I can only think that one day she decided to give herself a home-made Brazilian wax job and then somehow was possessed (quite possibly by Elvis) and just HAD to make a knitting pattern to truly represent the results.

The drumsticks were an afterthought, so her mom wouldn't guess what it was supposed to be.

5. Drunken knitting, you say? Hmmm... Ever wake up in the morning to find out that you’ve engaged in some questionable intarsia while blacked out?

No, although I wouldn't be surprised. I did have a dream either last night or the night before that I was doing Fair Isle. I don't LIKE how Fair Isle looks and have no intention of learning it (and yes, I'm well aware of the fact that more than likely next year this time I'm going to have to eat those words) so I was horrified. I was also completely sober ... maybe that was the problem ...

Thanks Cari for providing blog fodder for the day. I'm still sick and my husband is REALLY REALLY REALLY sick (and has a final paper plus a final exam happening right after work tomorrow night) so the amusement has been pretty thin on the ground this weekend.

Back to our regularly-scheduled almost-complete-lack-of-content tomorrow.

My best friend and I met and Elvis impersonator once... she told him that she thought he was dead.... his response... "No, momma, just on vacation". I like to think he's vacationing in your storage while knitting dishclothes.

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