Sunday, April 17, 2005


Funniest Ever Again

OK, so say you were a slightly-ripened-on-the-vine kinda tomato. A tomato that was maybe oh, say 43 years old and a little tired and wore out.

And say you had the kind of day (It's been almost two days but there's been only enough sleep for one day, so it's still "a day") where you slept oh maybe four hours, if that, and then worked all day on stuff that was utterly vital to be completed for Monday, and then went hysterically rank on a faculty member who expected you to do his last minute shit (which he knew about days before) instead of doing your vital stuff (his is finished, mine remains undone and I shall be served The Sandwich of Shame on Monday because I'm fucked if I'm going in to the office to work even MORE unpaid overtime this weekend). Let's say that you were that same tomato who then came home, slept three hours and then worked all night at your second job making the world safe for sick people. During that shift let's say you switched on the wrong switchboard console, the one without the buzz tone, and left calls hanging for several minutes, pretty much guaranteeing that there will be the Potato Chips of Shame to accompany that sandwich on Monday.

Am I stretching a metaphor? One that should never have been used in the first place?

Ya think?

OK, so after coming home from that second job, almost vomiting with tiredness, let's say you slept another three hours or so and then went out to a big ceremony of some sort that went off very well and at which you received lots of praise and stuff despite the great big grease spot on your boob, the ratty sweater and the ketchup on your pants, and came home happy to do 94 loads of dishes, kill a bunch of ants, make dinner, entertain a child, watch a bunch of princess movies, finally get that child into bed around oh, like midnight and a half or so and then settle down to drink a beer and do some serious blogging (and maybe knit a dishcloth).

If, after doing all of that, you can first receive an email entitled "Become the best guy for her this night! tan gnaw" (wtf?) and THEN sit down to read this woman's writing without peeing yourself laughing (please note I just opened my second beer) then you, my dear, have a Urethra of Steel and should be very proud of yourself.

Seriously. She's the funniest ever. As well.

Writes this again after mysteriously deleting it… Anyway as I was replying! *blos air out her noise * yes I do that get over it … (back to the reply)… * casually says * “See I told you, you where Superwoman”….* Hopes* you’re still breathing... right?
And here I was thinking you were the funniest woman ever! But she seriously makes me think I need to set up another blog, one the budgie can't read, one he never knows about, so that I can tell such stories without remorse. Because i was just stupid enough to not only let him know about mine, but even had him design the picture at the top. *sigh* But anyway, back to the subject - you're still the "funniest person that lives oh so close to me"!
It's the "watch a bunch of princess movies" that got me. Can you sue your fairy godmother in Canada? She/he is so not paying attention.
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