Thursday, March 03, 2005


Love For Sale

As is, apparently, my home.

I was correct in my suspicions of the realtors rummaging through my house last Saturday, and on Wednesday left the house only to find a "For Sale" sign nailed up on my front fence. Imagine my joy.

Wednesday night found the realtor (the man who was bearable, not the woman, hereinafter referred to as Beelzeboobs) telephoning me to let me know that the place was listed.

Well yes. The four foot square screaming red and blue sign with "For Sale" painted across the middle of it was a dead giveaway, but thanks for the info.

He claims he tried to tell me the night before but I "wasn't home". Apparently I'm having a lot more fun than I think I am.

I don't dispute my landlord's right to sell his own property. Hell, the market is good and if this is the right time, then so be it. I've got a lease and there are laws; I'm not going to be caught completely flat-footed no matter what happens. What I do object to is the complete lack of testicular fortitude displayed by the motherfuckers who own this house. They know I've got three jobs and a kid and that I'm in a pretty stressful situation, and yet they didn't have the courtesy to tell me personally that they were going to list it, but instead left this to their trained monkey. *koff* um, realtor.

Definitely fuckers of mothers. I'm beginning to suspect that some fathers are getting fucked there too; I'll keep you posted.

One of the few things that has helped me retain a modicum of sanity during this trying time(shut up) is Bad Cookie.

My latest one? (Not that I've played this 20 times already). "The Star of Poverty is Shining Upon You".

Gee no. Ya think?

Effin tools, those owners are. I'm in quite the mood lately, want me to fly to Canada and take it out on them? I could pick up the extra yarn I need while I'm there. What a bunch of assholes everyone ELSE is, huh?
You want more of the sage? Did you get my package? Can I send all but two balls?
Damn landmongers. I'll come up and help you succeed from North America along with Oregon. Fuck Washington, those stupid asses have a sales tax. California. No one wants California. Even the Mexicans just go right past it and head for Oregon. Anyway. Hang in there. Or hang your landlord. Whichever.
Sucks to be you!
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