Thursday, March 10, 2005


From The Department of Useful Phrases

Firstly, to update on the vermin situation, I have taken La's sage advice and have been spraying them with Windex. They're dying in the thousands, but at least it's a clean death.

Yes, you may start the beatings now.

On to the important part of this message:

As those of you reading along at home may know, there have been a number of useful words and phrases bandied about the knitblog world of late, phrases such as "knittos", "W.T. Fuck", and "assbeagles" (you may note a prejudice towards my own inventions here). Today, however, I believe that my office-partner-in-crime and I may have come upon the most valuable phrase I have heard to date.

We were discussing our various professional incarnations and had gone way back to the stone age when the lot of the poor office-worker was relieved by the invention of the word processor. We both used one made by Wang. Yes, I know. Shut up.

Anyhow, the conversation got around to the invention of the glorious PC. We both found it simpler to continue to do our database management and maintenance on the above-noted machine. She said "I did everything on the Wang".

And then it hit. A glorious moment of revelation. A beam of sunlight through the clouds. Angels singing, and stuff.

Until now, as far as I know, there has been no male equivalent of the derogatory but extremely useful term "on the rag". Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, free and without charge, "On the Wang".

edit: This term would NOT be used in a sentence such as "Not tonight, honey, I'm on the Wang," but rather "My boss was totally on the Wang today at work. I almost threw him off the roof by lunchtime!"

Use it with impunity.

You're welcome.

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