Monday, February 07, 2005


If I'm Not Back In A Week ...

... you can have my stuff.

This evening was spent rearranging this:

storage room

It is in slightly better shape, with the pine boards stacked outside waiting for my dad to come and get them and chop them up for me (yay dad!) and the Christmas tree finally shoved up on the top shelf (it's fake, I'm not that much of a slob!). And oh yes, I managed to find ... MORE COTTON! At last count I had 29 regular (3-1/2 oz) balls of the Handicrafter Cotton (Bernat I think) and one huge ball of unidentified grey cotton (earmarked for washcloths for the shelter) and oh yes, those ten balls of the really nice cotton-and-something mix that Ann sent me to justify her mad self-indulgence over at Smiley's last year and which are going to become a cute tank top.

We are not discussing the four or five balls that will reappear after I frog the "Tard of the Town" Tank.

Or the couple of dozen balls of beigey-cream (I think it's laughingly called écru) that are also earmarked for the shelter).

Or the 19 balls of red and green that are coming from Freddy and which are earmarked for the stash (but which will have NOTHING to do with the "100 things" stashbusting project so just shut up, you!) which will eventually be made into washcloths for some nice Cree people.

Or the several partial balls of variegated Bernat left over from those big 14-oz. balls.

That comes in at around an equivalent of um, like 85 balls of cotton or something doesn't it? Fuck. Thank dog I don't do math much.

Anyhow, thinking that I had my cotton needs pretty much covered for oh, like forever, I'm not sure WHY I was delighted to find ANOTHER three intact 14-0z balls of the Bernat cotton in the store room. Possibly because two were yellow and I really like yellow. But clearly, I'm mental. (yes, I'm just now figuring this out.) I can get 8 dishcloths out of each of these, I believe, although the math doesn't work out at all. Whatever. That's about the equivalent of another 24 balls of cotton.

Um, so yeah. 120 balls or so.

Which YOU can have, if I don't come back out of the store room in a week or so.

It's pretty scary in there. I was talking to a friend on IM while making my forays into the gloom, and the conversation was punctuated with gems such as:

"Don't go in there! It's ... It's ... *sounds of screaming, crashing, woman being dragged across the floor by something with tentacles ...*

Ok, back to the storage room *tentacle noises*


Oh goodness, silly! ALL old houses make noises like my uncle Edgar being strangled with his own intestines, as he was by person or persons unknown in this very house, thirteen years ago tonight. I'll just check the basement to see if everything's ok ...

Oh gosh ... the basement light seems to be burned out ... *click* *click* *click*

And then Amelia went into the darkened chamber and nothing happened and nothing happened and nothing happened and nothing happened and nothing happened and nothing happened and MY GOD IT PLUCKED HER EYEBALLS OUT LIKE A PAIR OF GRAPES.

and then ate them.

with a nice chianti

and garlic toast"

Doesn't take a lot to keep me happy, does it?

your storage room, my basement. i try to stay as close to the washer and dryer as i can, so it doesn't eat me! stay in the light, girl! stay in the light!
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