Saturday, February 26, 2005

 

Bad In A Past Life


I warn you now, dear readers, watch what you do in this life; you may well pay for it in the next.

I have come to the conclusion that I must have been very, very bad in my last life. How else can one explain the horde of Visigoths who came leaping gaily through my small, cluttered home early this morning? (OK, there were only four people and it was 11am. This is my story. Shut up.)

They kept merrily chattering about how they were just "doing a market comparison" before buying another apartment building, and "checking to see where they could replace the kitchen cabinets" but I think we all know how much we believe that sort of shit, Ch├ęz Lapin.

I reminded them, politely, as they poked into every nook and cranny of my home, making disparaging remarks about the amount of stuff I still have not yet unpacked, that in fact we have a lease to December, and whether or not the property is sold, that lease is unbreakable.

I hope I also managed to imply that, (seeing I wouldn't mind living somewhere larger and there's something I want coming up fairly soon) I could be bribed to agree to early termination of the lease.

Heh.

Another indication of my prior evilness is the fact that the clog-dancers upstairs are going to be here for at least another two months.

They were supposed to move out this week, but it appears that their new home is not yet ready for occupancy.

Right now they are doing some sort of unnecessary home repair that sounds somewhat like a foghorn. Or a moose in heat. I wonder if they're participating in the at-home-moose-breeding program run by 4H?

Feh. FEH, I say.

The clearest indicator of my transgressions, however, is the package I received this week from Lynne




Observe the huge quantity. Observe the green. The green that is unfortunately truly represented in this picture.

Since the beginning of my "stashbusting" project I have completed 12 items. I have also sent three balls of Patons Canadiana to Jen, sent something fun to Michael and sent two skeins of lambswool to Ann.

Therefore I'm technically nineteen balls down, no?

No. In that same time I have also received 20 balls of cotton, 2 balls of Moonlight Mohair, purchased 5 balls of stuff for my birthday and have received the two balls of something else fun I'm going to photograph for tomorrow.

That makes me, after three months of dedicated stashbusting, ten balls ahead of where I started. This means, logically, if I keep up this pace for another year, I will be 40 balls UP.

Thank dog math isn't my strong suit.

Comments:
Snort! I will send you the bill for cleaning the vomit out of my keyboard.

Lynne
(who will be opening packages with great trepidation in the future)
 
It's cotton~~~~~~you can dye it!
 
Wait a minute! You're sending to me, I'm sending to someone in Ontario, she's sendingto someone in Georgia, who is sending to. . .

If we keep all this yarn moving and don't allow it to roost, we will all be okay.

Maybe.

Meanwhile I am using up 6 partial balls (one of which started out as a "pounder") and none ofthem are on my spreadsheet *wah!*
 
If your landlord wants you to move out early - agree but tell them you want them to pay, say half your moving expenses.
 
I have a lease which started ten or eleven weeks ago. They have to pay all of my moving expenses or I don't budge.
 
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