Saturday, January 08, 2005

 

These Are A Few of My Favourite Things


And, as always, quite a few things that are just ass.

Today's post is long on pictures and short on prose. I moved three cabinets into my work area tonight and finally unpacked most of my patterns. Here are a few highlights.

Firstly, three sweaters I absolutely love. I intend to make at least one of these this year. For ME, even.








Yeah, I'm gonna haul out the cable needles and just get over it, already. I would also really like to look like either Lady #1 or #2, if there are any plastic surgeons listening out there.

And, of course (we never disappoint!) here are a few things that I really don't think anyone should make.

First up is a charming outfit guaranteed to make anyone at all look like they have no figure whatsoever. I was unaware that there had ever been a trend toward knitting things to look like badly-dyed tensor bandages. The title says it all.


green bean

Next on the block is ... well ... I think it speaks for itself. Unfortunately, the baby couldn't, which is why he is wearing this. I wonder how much the therapy cost when he grew up.




I have no idea why someone would get tanked enough to wear a crocheted tablecloth on her head and then allow the photograph to be published. Yes, I remember the pictures of me in that hat I posted a couple of days ago. Shut up. I think I have a smaller readership than this particular manufacturer does. No, I won't tell you who it is; they are still in business and I don't want to get sued.




It bothers me a little that my husband liked this hat so much. I like the one on the left quite a bit. He liked the version on the right.


shut up

I was unaware that there were actual outfits you could make specifically in which to give birth. Who'd a thunk it?




And it would seem that this special little lopsided heavy-as-a-sack-of-fuck dress is so magical that if you put it on your kid, she will learn to levitate.




Last but not least, we now have some scientific evidence of why boys grow up to be serial killers. Here is one such young man with the arm of one of his earliest victims ...




Heh. I think I've amused myself at others' expense quite enough for one evening, don't you?

Comments:
Scary baby--no shit.
 
Are you sure you wouldn't rather make the teal tablecloth/veil? I hear those are coming back...right along with the laegwarmers. :)
 
I would make the tablecloth/veil but a) I'm already married and b) well, I can't crochet very well anyhow.

Ooh ... LEGWARMERS??? *g*
 
Rabbitch, go grab yourself a cable needle and put a cable into your next dish cloth. They are EASY. So damn easy you will kick yourself for not trying them sooner.

Somewhere in that dish cloth, keep four stitches in stockinette for a few rows. About 4 rows will do. On the next row, slide 2 stitches to a cable needle and let it hang to the front of your work. Knit the next two stitches from the left needle, then pick up the cable needle and knit those two stitches. Walla! A cable. It will be more apparent after you have knit a few more rows of stockinette after it. Keep doing that "twist" every 4 to 6 rows and that's it. THAT IS IT.
 
Easy enough for YOU to say Mrs. "Design A Sweater In Between Doing Laundry and Cooking Dinner"!

But yeah, I'm going to take a run at it. I'll have a look tonight to see what I have the yarn for and leap in. Maybe a hat to start, although not likely the "shut up" hat *g*
 
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