Tuesday, January 18, 2005
In A Frenzy Of Delight
I started the day in the best way possible, waking up snuggled next to her Miniscule Majesty and with another hour to go before the alarm went off.
Things pretty much went downhill from there, starting with a visit to the dentist during which I discovered that The Root of All Evil happens to reside in my mouth. It is scheduled to be removed next Friday, the 28th. Oh yes, and it's infected. Whee!
I then waded through the insane deluge to get to work, crammed onto a bus full of people all smelling like wet dog (it's utterly POURING here, as can be seen on just about any picture at www.van.net) and spent the rest of the day trying to clear at least a little of the two-foot-thick covering of papers from my desk.
The miseries of the day faded, however, the minute I got home. Waiting on my desk was THIS little bundle of vintagey goodness:
It's from Winter 1946-47 and, for those who can't read the writing, it's edited BY THE OUTSTANDING DESIGNER GIZI!!!
La certainly oudid herself in giftly magnificence -- thank you!
This excllently-preserved magazine starts out by wisely stating "Any woman who invests precious time, money and labor in handwork should be helped in every way to achieve the finest possible results." Did you hear that, husband dear?
"HELPED IN EVERY WAY"
What a wise, wise woman wrote those words, oh those many years ago.
THAT INCLUDES CLEANING THE KITCHEN, ASSBUCKET
Unfortunately, the person or persons unknown who chose the patterns and advertisements for the rest of the magazine may have been perchance a little less wise.
I present my first exhibit in support of the above argument:
Standing for quality? The only place I'm gonna be standing in an outfit like that will be up against the wall, come the revolution.
Some of their pattern suggestions are useful, though. For instance, this would be very helpful for anyone who didn't know exactly what to wear to go and investigate the strange noises in the unlit basement ...
And what new mother wouldn't be delighted by a blanket made entirely of breadrolls?
I believe the most beautiful and mysterious creation in the entire book is the following item. Just what in the purple screaming fuck ~are~ those things on her hat? Microphones? Tiny little trumpet mutes? Maracas? Jump rope handles? Or perhaps an entire disassembled clarinet ...
The "crowning glory", so to speak, of any collection is the bridal outfit, and yet again this noble publication does not fail to satisfy. The following is crocheted out of "Hiawatha Super Glo Plastic Corde Art. 56" and I must say it makes me wish I was single so I could get married All Over Again!
I do think that fewer people will have to die at work tomorrow, because of this gift.
OOO, I love the wedding one - it's so mary queen of scots! You crack me up!
I hereby steal the term "assbucket". I promise to use it in a sentence at least five times tomorrow. More on the weekends because I'll be drunk.
Feel free to use "assbucket" a lot. All the time. I am fond of it, myself. I'm also fond of the hat that has clarinet parts on it but there's a limit to what any girl will lower herself to wear.Post a Comment