Saturday, October 23, 2004

 

Leftovers


As some of you know, I'm an eBay Ho. I love buying and selling there and have obtained some of my best patterns that way.

This last month or so I've been selling and, as happens to all sellers, I have had a number of items that haven't sold.

I listed them twice and they didn't go, so I'm going to keep them, which is what I wanted to do all along, of course, but I needed the cash so I thought I'd just try anyhow.

One of the magazines, at least, I'm glad didn't sell. I hadn't realized just how horrible the pictures were ... for instance:



I mean, WHAT IS THAT WOMAN DOING WITH HER OTHER HAND TO MAKE THAT MAN LOOK LIKE THAT???

I would like to emphasize my point with a close-up of that poor man's face:



I mean does she or does she not have his testicles in a grip of steel?

This next photo is entitled "Silken Elegance"



I'm not quite sure what sort of feathers those are, but I'm assuming ALL of them are stuffed up her ass. I can't think of anything else that would get that particular look on her face. Or induce her, or anyone for that matter, to wear that particular outfit. I can hear them now ... "Put it on or you get the WHOLE ostrich up your ass!"

And then, just so that people don't think knitters are all total 'tards, we have the humorous cartoon, designed to make you feel better about your obsession. To wit:



Isn't knitting fun? And perky? And bound to grant you admission to the inner circles of the socially ept?

And perhaps to make you dance to the invisible mariachi band in your head?



I also got to keep a mint-condition vintage book from which I hope to make many patterns, unless the saner members of my family dissuade me.

But really ... who could forget the famous "Fling a Ring Elepnhant"? You? For shame!



This book is also full of magic spells and is guaranteed to give you the power to make your children learn to play the ukelele ... and like it!



Oh be still, my foolish, drunken heart ...

Comments:
I played a ukelele when I was little - had it up til I was around 19 or 20 - then a drunken party guest sat on it - maybe my playing wasn't all that good.

I love the pictures from your books.

Susan
http://bbfan.blogon.com
 
Maybe they both have that look on their face because it appears that they have been spooged all over.

I mean, I'd certainly be surprised.
 
But does the knitting pattern feature the reindeer with five legs? Because that would be something, indeed.
 
I needed a laugh, and these pics definitely provided me with more than one. (and I didn't know my sister played the ukelele ... interesting, cuz now I know who gets to entertain us at Christmas this year).
 
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