Tuesday, September 21, 2004


Lord Won't You Buy Me a Mercedes Benz?

I was most delighted to discover today that my dentist will not be needing the lyrics for this song.

No, my dears, no longer will this poor man be forced to importune an uncaring and capricious deity to increase his automotive studliness. He has, instead, hit the motherlode. Or should I say the Rabbitchlode?

To wit, mah mouf.

I spent close to three hours in the chair today while he inserted both his hands, one foot, a stream-driven backhoe and a small coin-operated jukebox into my gaping maw. I'm hoping to make enough money off the jukebox to cover the cost of definitely one, possibly two and maybe even THREE root canals, a rebuild of a twice-repaired injury, replacement of an elderly laminate, possibly a crown, two or three more new laminates and whatever else we can dream up in our novocain-induced frenzy. I'm pretty sure I was the only one drugged today but who can really be sure any more?

Thank my own deity that I have a dental plan that will cover the majority of any work that is not considered purely cosmetic, and damn my lousy heritage -- my mother also has a lovely collection of extremely small teeth with extremely thin enamel.

I would also like to take this opportunity to mention to whoever discovered ibuprofen that you are truly a genius, and my very best friend for the foreseeable future.

That is all.

Poor,poor you. :-[

I love to hear Janis Joplin sing that.

Emma. [emma.prettyposies.com]
Holy crap. 3 root canals? I'm about to pass out for you. What is a laminate? I thought that went on countertops. . .
I've never had a root canal before. I'm a giant-assed pussy when it comes to dentists. All of a sudden I seem to have bought into the idea that THREE are a good idea. I wonder if I'll decide to have them all on one day.

I was expecting to lose my mind one day, I just hadn't planned on it being today. Or all at once.

And laminates are sort of like Lee Press-On Teeth. I have a tooth that got split down the middle like a peanut and all I have is the back and the nerve. The laminate is the covering that's been on it for 30 years and now looks like ... you guessed it ... ass.
Ah. laminate. We call it "bonding" here.

And I hate to break it to you, but a root canal is possibly the worst.fucking.thing. Ever. Keep us informed.
I don't think I like you any more.
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