Thursday, September 30, 2004

 

As One Door Closes ...


... another one shuts. Or at least that's what my parents' old cleaning lady used to say.

A door shut in our household yesterday morning.

And so we gather, dear friends, to bid farewell to Coochie. He was a family member, a friend, a fish. And as of yesterday morning he was also, alas, tits up.

May he fare well as he begins his journey into the next life. Or, perhaps, just into the sewer, depending on both one's view of the afterlife and also one's view of whether or not fish go there.

I never knew you well, dear Coochie. You were just a daycare fish that we got talked into bringing home "for ten days" about ten months ago. I changed your water maybe twice, fed you once a week or so. Daddy loved you far more than I did. In fact I couldn't even be arsed to take a picture of you. I'm pretty sure you were blue.

I suck.

And swallow.

But I digress, and I ~am~ the only one in the family mental enough to write a eulogy for a dead daycare fish, so you'll just have to take what you get.

And so, Coochie, as you bob along on your journey down the toilet pipes and into the sewers, on your way to the River Styx, please heed my parting words: Don't pay the ferryman. Don't even fix a price. Don't pay the ferryman until he gets you to the other side.

And if in fact he DOES get you to the other side, expect all of the other dead fish to kick your ass for being lame and taking a FERRY across a RIVER. You're a FISH fer fuck's sake.

Amen.

Comments:
Awww, how sad--NOT!

And very funny!
 
OMG! I love the great 80s song quote!
 
Your "fish"'s name was "coochie"? Funny about that tune-the other night at work they had a taco chef (chef??) come out and make tacos and crap for us at work and someone said on the walkie-talkie "the taco man is ready" and since then I've had "don't pay the taco man" in my head. Then randomly the husband started singing "don't pay the ferryman" yesterday and now you write it. It's probably a sign or something. Yeah, probably not.
 
I believe singing that song is one of the signs of the apocalypso.

And yes, the fish was named "Coochie". Her Surreal Highness named him. I think the daycare just called him "the fish".
 
You ARE hilarious!!!
 
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