Friday, August 06, 2004

 

I Didn't Get The Memo


And was therefore unaware that today was "let your housepets drive on crack" day. I hereby offer my heartfelt apologies to all of those who I may have dissed with regard to your driving skills on my way home after 15-1/2 hours of work. I had no idea that most of the cars being driven around here were, in fact, under the guidance of wienerdogs. Syphillitic wienerdogs, at that. On crack.

Well. I feel much better for having gotten that out of my system, although it hardly makes up for almost being sideswiped three times and then having to deal with a man in the 'convenience' store (and I use that term loosely, as no convenience was experienced whatsoever) who was so drunk that he couldn't figure out that the clerk had to know how much his sandwich actually WAS before he could pay for it ... and then was coughing and horking so much all around the microwave that I figured his next trick was going to be to vomit. I dunno about you, but microwaved barf burritos just didn't sound like something to which I wanted to spend a lot of time in close proximity, so at that point I left, to make my purchase at a more convenient and less hork-filled establishment.

And now for the dreaded knitting list requested by the Woman of Scorn. This will be edited as I go along so I'm not sure if it'll be 51 projects but it's a shitpile, that I can guarantee.

1. *yellow blanket for J's sister
2. *black hat for A
3. variegated hat with ears for S
4. coat for Eleanor for next winter
5. black hat for R
6. *green bunnie for auntie H
7. green "Rambling Rows" sweater for Ben
8. *green moss-stitch sweater for mom
9. rambling rows sweater for eebie
10. pink hat for me
11. pink sweater for me
12. green sweater for Q
13. S's blanket
14. alpaca scarf for S
15. *peach scarf for J
16.&17. 2 knitted bunnies for Eleanor
18. 1 'Bliss' doll for Eleanor
19. cat for RM
20. heart afghan for Eleanor
21. pink slippies with pig ears for A
22. cotton sweater for me
23. black bunnie for R
24.&25. blankies for E's dolls
26. pinque and black hat for E
27. pinque slipper for me
28. bag for me for small projects
29. *hgtv binkie
30. blue bunnie for Ax's daughter
31. cotton mat for in front of kitchen sink
32. cotton bed jacket for me
33. draft blocker
34. purple dorm boots with ears for L
35. something babyful for S
36. *blanket for M
37. *purple afghan for C
38. *blanket for E
38.&39. hats for steve
40. *"bling" slippers for ee
41. *bunnie for ee
42. *"Tell me I'm a Tard" Tank
43. Moss stitch tunic for Eleanor
44. *crochet blue and white blanket for M
46. *crochet blue blanket for twins
47. second crochet blue blanket for other twin
48. barnyard play blanket & animals for twins

OK, that's all I'm going to admit to. I edited out all of the ones I was going to make for people I'm no longer speaking to, or ones that I was going to make for a place I'm no longer going to make anything for 'cause I don't have time, and also anything I'm making as a surprise for anyone I know who reads this.

The ones with the * beside them are already cast on. I also have a commitment to a couple of dozen dishcloths to be given to one of the homeless shelters to be used as facecloths (3 of which are already done) and thirty blankets for one of the shelters for when it opens, but for those I'm mostly just a gathering place, and I sew a few squares together when I have time, so that's hardly worth adding to the list, hmm? I'm not going to anyhow, it would make me weep.

Oh shut up, I'm not obsessed at all.

If you'd like to figure out if YOU need more yarn or projects in your life, take a lookie here. You may just be surprised.

Comments:
HOLY COW! That's all I can say right now, holy cow.
 
Oh god ... you don't need me to knit a COW now, do you?
*adding it to the list*
 
Um......do you not have carpel tunnel syndrome? I never did and when I started crocheting like mad, I noticed I developed it. Wow.....are you going to post pics of the good stuff along the way?
 
I don't have carpal tunnel syndrome because, as you will note, I am a big hairy slacker and these are all UNfinished projects, in many cases also unstarted. I'll post pix of everything except for the dishcloths. I can't think anyone needs pictures of those. Maybe this will shame me into actually finishing something ...
 
I think you should knit cute little sweaters so all the syphillic weiner dogs will be warm come winter time.

:)
 
What a good idea. I'll teach you how so you can do it yourself, k? Hmph. Syphillitic wienerdoggie sweaters, indeed. *g*
 
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