Friday, August 20, 2004

 

Adventures in Knitting and Puke


Slowly the brave rabbit crept towards the evil dpns ... and managed to figure out fairly quickly the ins and outs of making i-cord. Hell, I didn't even sustain any life-threatening injuries, and it looks not bad, if I do say so my own rather prejudiced self.



One thing I must say, though, is that these little motherfuckers have GOT to go. Now. They are skanky. Quite apart from the fact that they clash horribly with my beloved orange yarn (the yellow needles are better, but I couldn't find the right size), they're plastic and far too flexible for my taste. I'm used to knitting with steel needles or Addis, and I like the slick surface and lack of flexibility. Uncompromising needles work for me. These things flap about more vigorously than Janet Jackson's far-too-public tit.

Besides, the steel ones are handier for killing yourself if you happen to make the same stupid error on the same stupid piece of knitting more than six times in a row.

My LYS has a regrettably limited needle selection, which has, of course, necessitated a surreptitious shopping trip to Elann. There was a glitch with my order, because I'm clearly too stupid to order online, however the needle situation should be improving very soon.

*cackle*

Today has been an inconsistent food day, however the bad has sadly outweighed the good. Breakfast was mediocre, due to it being served by people enjoying their last day of employment at the place where I work. Their company was underbid for the food services contract and about 30 of them are still out of work. Many of them were vulgar, unhygienic asshats but I still hate the thought of them going to live in dumpsters. I hate even more the thought of them living in dumpsters while working in other places from where I may be ordering food. I wonder if anyone has ever asked to meet the chef at a fast food outlet before?

Lunch was good, just a sandwich but I made it with all sorts of wonderful stuff delivered today by Organics at Home. Dinner was mediocre, brought to me on my second job by hubby and daughter, from a Chinese restaurant that doesn't seem to understand that if a customer has an allergy, just waving the spoon that had the allergen on it in the air and then using it to serve food does not avert the allergic reaction, and that they should use a CLEAN spoon to serve the other food to which their customer is not allergic. Did that sentence go on forever? Stick around, I can do better.

Anyhow, I ate about 10% of dinner, and seeing breakfast was a chef's salad and lunch was a cheese and veggie sandwich, I was feeling a little peckish. No problem, thought I, I will just pop a bag of this here microwave popcorn into that there microwave and all of my troubles will be solved.

I doubt I have ever had anything more disgusting in my life. What screaming crack-addled pinhead ever decided that "sweet corn on the cob" was a flavour that anyone would want on microwaved popcorn? Truly, I could puke. Yes, I ate about a quarter of it, shut up.

The office now reeks of Satan's Snackfood and my stomach has taken on a life of its own, attempting to escape the confines of my body so that it can crawl across the floor, lift up the fax machine and beat me to death with it. And I ask you, what jury would convict?

To hell with nuking the folks overseas, Dubya should just load a plane up with this stuff and drop it on any country he wants to 'rescue' from itself. I guarantee within six hours, anyone in the country with functioning tastebuds would have killed themselves.

Oh well, at least I'm not hungry any more.

Comments:
If you don't like the sweet stuff, don't try the cheese flavor! Trust me on this!

Your i-cord is looking good!
 
The office now reeks of Satan's Snackfood and my stomach has taken on a life of its own, attempting to escape the confines of my body so that it can crawl across the floor, lift up the fax machine and beat me to death with it. And I ask you, what jury would convict?

After reading that part, I just bought some stock in Depends.
 
So are so to the point!!! Sweet and popcorn... bad combo!
 
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