Monday, September 30, 2013
I used to have cats. I love cats. They are mysterious, affectionate, impenetrable, indispensable.
But of late, I have been reading on Facebook about all of these things that people's cats have been doing to them and they're trying to figure out why. I am now here to assist you.
It is because your cat is an asshole.
I have had many cats in my life and all of them were assholes. It is the nature of the beast. Not that I object to assholes; I have been married to one for many many years (a person, not a cat) but there comes a time when one must call a spade a spade and not just another pretty shovel.
I wrote a long rant about why and how your cat is an asshole and I may well expand on this tomorrow, however I have been up dyeing stuff and I'm tired and must go to bed.
But, as I go to bed, if a person treated you like your cat does ... if a person peed in your shoes, sicked up on your carpet, shredded your toilet paper and gave birth in your closet ... what would you call them?
Exactly. I rest my case.
(This is all meant in jest. If you feel the need to rip me a new one in the comments please do.)
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Long Time Gone
Yeah, me and the Dixie Chicks.
We've both been a long time gone, but I suspect that more people have been awaiting their return than the number who have been awaiting mine.
But I'm back.
I haven't blogged for about a year. I've been lying low and making all sorts of excuses for everything for far longer than that. The fact that I was ill doesn't negate the fact that I've done wrong by a bunch of people, but I'm back again and trying to make things right.
So ... here's the deal. I owe either money or yarn or roving to at least half a dozen people; maybe more. And now that I'm sane again I'm going to do everything I can to do to fix it. It won't be all fixed this week but I'll get 'er done.
If you're mad at me and would like to take a swipe at me in public, please feel free to post a comment. My comments are moderated but I'll take it on the chin and publish them all. I moderate the comments merely to avoid spam. If you'd like to settle the issue in private then my email is firstname.lastname@example.org. The deal I'm offering is, if I owe you some product then you have a choice. I will either a) give you your money back, or b) give you the yarn you ordered AND give you your money back or c) send you what you ordered and then give you another skein for free. Lemme know what you want. I'm sane again and want to make this right for all of us.
Yeah, it's sort of painful to admit in public that I've fucked up. But I did. I have lost most of the emails from when I was selling yarn long ago. My husband has them on hard drives from old computers upstairs but I'm going to get that data back just about the time he actually cleans the bathroom. Which is never. So I'm doing the best that I can here.
Public flagellation time is over. I just thought this would be the best way to get this out there.
And now I'm going to sleep. I'll actually blog about something other than how awful I am tomorrow, once I wake up.
Stay tuned. We may discuss why "traffic calming" leads to rage, at least when most of the drivers are geriatric.